What’s up guys, I’m Brad Browning and you are tuned in to the #1 breakup advice
channel on YouTube. In this video, you’ll be learning how, when, and why to meet up
with your ex in order to get them back.
Let’s begin by talking about whether or not meeting up with your ex is actually a
good idea… and whether or not it can actually help you get back together. In short, the
answer is YES. As I’m sure you’re already aware from watching some of my previous videos,
you will likely need to meet up with your ex in person at least once or twice before
you’ll be able to win them back. In fact, this is a key component of my Ex Factor program,
because re-building your ex’s attraction to you is critical in order to make them want
to get back together.
This kind of in-person meeting with your ex falls under the third and final step in my
3R System -- recovery, rekindling, and re-attraction. It’s extremely important that you go through
the first two phases BEFORE you whip out your phone and start asking your ex to meet up.
These first two steps are necessary to set the stage for your in-person meeting, and
will make sure your ex says “yes” when you bring up the idea of hanging out.
At the very least, you need to re-set your ex’s perception of you by helping him or
her to forget about the bad parts of your relationship and focus on the happy, nostalgic
ones. You also need to make sure your ex is in what I call an “emotional neutral”
state. There’s a lot more in-depth information on these initial steps in the full video on
my website, BreakupBrad.com. You really need to make sure you’ve set the stage right
by using the tactics in that video before you set up a “date” with your ex… so,
head to BreakupBrad.com and watch the free tutorial video to learn more.
I’m going to assume at this point that you’ve already taken these initial steps, employed
No Contact for the full 30 days, and begun re-establishing positive rapport with your
ex. When you get to this point, it’s time to meet up with your ex in person. When it
comes to actually arranging this in-person hangout with your ex, I’ve got a few important
tips to share…
TIP #1: Have a real, bonafide reason for meeting your ex.
It’s almost never a good idea to simply call or text your ex out of the blue and ask
them out for coffee. That kind of approach is much more likely to cause suspicion in
the back of your ex’s mind, and may reveal your true motivation for wanting to meet up.
To avoid this problem, you need to think of a legitimate-sounding reason to meet with
your ex. It doesn’t really matter what the reason is, as long as it’s reasonable and
legitimate.
For example, let’s say you’re currently in the process of starting your own business….
If your ex happened to be an accountant, then you could ask him or her to spare half an
hour so you can get their advice on basic bookkeeping for your new company.
Or maybe your ex was great at interior design, and you’re planning on renovating your basement
suite… you could send them a text asking if they’d be willing to meet briefly to
give you some tips on choosing paint colours and furniture for the suite.
These are just quick examples off the top of my head, but really the possibilities here
are endless. What really matters is that you have a legitimate-sounding reason for asking
your ex to meet up, and you’re not just randomly suggesting it out of the blue for
no good reason. Trust me, if you have a reasonable-sounding excuse for the meet-up, you’re much more
likely to get your ex on board with the idea.
TIP #2: Don’t try to do too much too quickly.
The last thing you want to do is set off alarm bells in your ex’s head when you propose
an in-person meet-up… like I mentioned earlier, you want to avoid revealing your true intentions
or trying to move too quickly.
Don’t suggest spending the entire weekend with your ex for the first time you meet in
person after breaking up… in fact, I don’t even recommend going for dinner or doing anything
more than meeting for coffee for half an hour.
Lastly, don’t refer to this meet-up as a “date” or give the impression that there’s
anything remotely romantic about the hang-out. If your ex senses a trap or thinks that the
meet-up will be anything extensive or overly dramatic, they’ll likely decline the invite…
so, keep it very casual and ensure that your suggestion to meet in person sounds like it’ll
be brief and enjoyable.
TIP #3: Play it cool and act like you don’t give a f***.
This ties in to what I just talked about…. It’s important to act as though you’re
not really that invested in the idea of meeting up, and that you’re just throwing out the
idea without really caring too much about whether it actually comes to fruition.
If he or she says no when you suggest this meet-up, if they make an excuse, or if they
just flat-out ignore your message… sure, that’s going to be somewhat upsetting, but
don’t get emotional about it or lash out at your ex. It’s crucial that you don’t
show your ex any signs of disappointment if things don’t work out at first.
Remember, you are just proposing this meet-up for fun and to talk to your ex about something
specific, and that’s it. That means that if it doesn’t happen for whatever reason,
you shouldn’t be too upset or try too hard to think of alternate ways to convince your
ex to meet up. If your initial attempt to meet up fails, your best move is usually to
wait a week or two -- or even longer, if your ex is really pushing back or not being receptive
to your messages -- and then try again with a new strategy once you feel things are going
well. Don’t force it, be patient, and make sure your 2nd attempt at arranging an in-person
meeting is very different -- maybe you suggest grabbing dinner with some mutual friends,
for instance, instead of a 1-on-1 coffee date.
TIP #4: Make sure your ex enjoys the in-person hangout.
A lot of people get overexcited when they do get a chance to meet with their ex in person
for the first time, and try to move too quickly or dive straight in to “serious relationship
talks”. This is a huge mistake that can really backfire on you, so my suggestion is
to avoid any serious discussions… especially anything related to your relationship, you
breakup, or your future together.
Keep in mind that your ex agreed to meet up because he or she thinks you want to get together
as friends -- and that’s it. If you suddenly bring up the topic of your breakup, or issues
that plagued your relationship, you’ll put your ex on the spot and you’ll blow your
chances of meeting up with your ex again in the near future.
The key to winning your ex back is to re-build their ATTRACTION to you -- you need to naturally
and organically make your ex miss you and chase you, and you won’t be able to do do
that by simply talking through your relationship problems. Instead, you want to make your ex
feel GOOD when they’re around you -- only then will he or she feel compelled to take
you back and pursue building a stronger relationship.
Make your ex laugh, keep things lighthearted and playful, and avoid any drama or serious
discussions for as long as possible. If your ex has fun when you’re together, they’re
far more likely to agree to meet again in the future… and they’re far more likely
to start to think of you in a romantic way again.
TIP #5: Use the opportunity to subtly convey how awesome your life is since the breakup.
This is something I’ve stressed again and again in my past videos, but I’ll say it
again here: you want your ex to leave this in-person meeting thinking to themselves,
“wow, my ex isn’t sitting around feeling sorry for themselves… they’re living an
exciting, fun life without me… why did I let such an awesome person slip out of my
life??”
You can achieve this by staying positive and upbeat during any encounters with your ex,
and by subtling hinting at some of the new and interesting developments and achievements
in your life since the breakup. Blow up your ex’s expectations by telling interesting
stories about your cool and exciting life, and carefully inject some “humble bragging”
in to the conversion when it feels appropriate to make sure your ex knows you’re still
the fun, interesting person they remember from the earlier days of your time together.
OK, folks, that’s my top 5 tips for meeting up with your ex… let me know how it goes
by sharing your stories in the comments below the video! And be sure to visit BreakupBrad.com/Coaching
if you’re stuck in a difficult situation with your ex so that you can sign up for my
1-on-1 coaching service and get my help winning them back.
Thanks for watching, thanks for subscribing to my channel, and good luck out there! Bye
for now.