WELCOME BACK EVERYBODY.
FOLKS, YOU'VE SEEN MY NEXT GUEST ON "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT"
"LOUIE" AND HER OWN SHOW "LADY DYNAMITE."
PLEASE WELCOME ONE OF MY FAVORITE COMEDIAN
favorite comedian Favorite comedian
S, MARIA BAMFORD.
>> Stephen: HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.
AS I WAS SAYING TO THE PEOPLE HERE, YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVORITE
COMEDIANS.
NO MATTER WHAT MOOD I'M IN I CAN LISTEN TO ANY ONE OF YOUR
ALBUMS.
>> THAT'S VERY KIND.
>> Stephen: I JUST LOVE-- I LOVE-- I LOVE HOW CONFESSIONAL
YOUR WORK IS.
>> I SAY TOO MUCH.
>> Stephen: A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH FOR SOME.
NOT FOR ME.
BRING IT ON.
>> THAT'S RIGHT WHY NOT?
WHY NOT TALK ABOUT IT?
>> Stephen: YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR PARENTS A LOT.
HOW ARE YOUR MOM AND DAD?
>> THEY'RE VERY GOOD.
I READ IN THE "NEW YORK TIMES" THAT YOU CAN ASK 36 QUESTIONS TO
GET SOMEBODY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.
AND I THOUGHT, "WHY NOT ASK MY PARENTS SOME OF THESE
QUESTIONS?" SOMETIMES THEY'RE ON THE FENCE.
( LAUGHTER ) AND I ASKED MY FATHER, I SAID--
ONE OF THE QUESTIONS WAS, "WHAT PERSON LIVING OR DEAD WOULD YOU
WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH?" AND HE SAID
( CLEARING CLOSE ) WHAT?
SHE WAS A VERY SIXY LADY FROM HISTORY.
"WHO DID YOU SAY?" "DAD, I SAID YOU."
I ASKED MY MOM WHO SHE WOULD WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH.
AND SHE SAID JOHN F. KENNEDY.
AND SHE LOVES YOU, STEPHEN.
OH, STEPHEN.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
MY MOM WANTED ME TO TELL YOU THAT.
>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S NICE.
>> HE'S LIKE STRAWBERRY JAM.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: NOE RED, LUMPY?
>> NO, DELICIOUS!
>> Stephen: YOU'RE MARRIED ALMOST TWO YEARS NOW.
CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE.
YOU WERE FAIRLY NEW TO MARRIAGE.
>> YEAH!
>> Stephen: GOT ONE.
DO YOU ENJOY IT?
I LOVE BEING MARRIED.
I'M 24 YEARS MARRIED NOW.
AND IT'S-- SAME LADY.
( LAUGHTER ) ARE YOU-- ARE YOU DIGGING IT?
>> IN A ROW.
YES.
I-- IT'S DELIGHTFUL.
IT IS-- I DIDN'T KNOW-- I GENERALLY AM NOT VERY GOOD AT
RELATIONSHIPS.
I HAVE A HARD TIME.
I JUST NEEDED TO FIND A WAY TO SHOW PEOPLE HOW MUCH I LOVE
THEM, DESPITE ALL MY WORDS AND ACTION.
( LAUGHTER ) AND MY HUSBAND GOT TOGETHER --
>> Stephen: HIS NAME IS.
>> SCOTT CASSIDY.
AND HE'S A PAINTER.
HELLO, BOO-BOO.
ONE THING I LEARNED ABOUT LOVE IS SOMETHING-- THEY TELL YOU-- I
DIDN'T REALIZE-- SOMETIMES WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEBODY YOU MIGHT BE
IRRITATED BY THEM.
AND I READ IN SOME OF MY SELF-HELP LITERATURE THAT WHAT
YOU DO IS YOU EMBRACE IT, EMBRACE THAT WHICH DISGUSTS YOU.
( LAUGHTER ) AND MY HUSBAND DOES A REPETITIVE
SINGING THING.
WHERE HE CHANGES EVERY SONG TO THE WORDS "TURKEY LEG, CHICKEN
LEG."
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: ANY SONG?
>> ANY SONG.
♪ TURK ON THE CHICK LEG TURK, TURK, CHICK.
♪ TURK, TIRK CHICK LEG ♪ TURK, TURK, CHICK LEG ♪
>> Stephen: "SMOKE ON THE WATER,."
>> I HOPE THAT DOESN'T COST YOU ANYTHING.
>> Stephen: WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT SO HOW DO YOU EMBRACE THAT?
>> THEN I I JUST START DOING THE SAME THING.
AND NOW I DO IT SO MUCH MORE THAN HE DOES, HE HAS TO SAY,
"STOP.
COME ON."
SO-- AND IT STARTED TO-- I REALLY ENJOY DOING IT.
IT IS FUN TO -- >> Stephen: YOU'RE CHALLENGING
HIM NOW?
HE HAS TO EMBRACE YOUR EMBRACE OF HIM?
>> I HOPE-- I THINK IT DOES-- LIKE SEEING WHY SOMEONE ENJOYS
SOMETHING AND SAY, "WHAT IF I--" I COULD ENJOY IT RATHER THAN BE
AFRAID OF IT.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE GOING INTO THE SECOND SEASON OF "LADY
DYNAMITE" RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: WE WERE TALKING WITH RICHARD GEAR EARLIER THAT
HE WAS DANNY ZUCCO.
DO YOU REMEMBER AN EARLY JOB IN SHOW BUSINESS JIEFS A "STAR
TREK" CHARACTER IN A TOURING SHOW WHERE WE MOSTLY DID MALL
OPENINGS IN THE SOUTH.
( LAUGHTER ) I SAID THINGS LIKE,"GREETINGS.
I'M FROM THE PLANET BAJOR."
"GET THE "F" AWAY FROM ME."
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT A NEW NETFLIX SPECIAL CALLED "OLD
BABY."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHERE DID THE TITLE COME FROM?
>> I WAS MISTAKENLY ASKED TO SPEAK TO SOME HIGH SCHOOL
STUDENTS.
NONE OF US KNEW WHY I WAS THERE.
IT WAS VERY CONFUSING.
>> Stephen: LIKE, "PLEASE COME IN AND SPEAK TO THEM?
IS IT.
>> YES.
AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT THAT THEY MIGHT BE
THINKING IS, "OH, SHE'S LIKE-- SHE'S OLD, BUT THEN SHE'S, LIKE,
GOT A BABY VOICE.
HE'S LIKE AN OLD BABY, AND SHE'S ALL SHAKY.
HOW COULD SHE EVEN HAVE A JOB?" ( LAUGHTER )
FAIR POINT.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
>> FAIR POINT.
NO, IT WAS A VERY-- VERY ODD.
IT WAS FOR CAREER DAY.
I WAS LIKE, I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE-- IF YOU WANT TO TAKE ONE
OF MY HEAD SHOTS FROM 1999 AND TOSS THOSE OUT AS YOU LEAVE THE
ROOM.
I HOPE THAT-- NO, I FELT BAD ABOUT TRYING TO TEACH THE KIDS--
KIDS ARE SO SMART THEMSELVES.
THEY-- THEY'LL FIGURE IT OUT, RIGHT?
LOUVRE LAUGH.
>> Stephen: WELL, I'VE NEVER DONE A COMEDY SPECIAL.
LIKE, HOW DO YOU-- HOW DO YOU PREPARE FOR IT?
OB, YOU GO TO CLUBS, BUT BEFORE YOU EVEN GO TO THE CLUBS, WHERE
DO YOU TEST OUT YOUR MATERIAL?
WHAT ARE YOUR GUINEA PIGS?
>> WELL, I REHEARSE IT, OF COURSE, TO ALL MY LOVED ONES,
UNTIL THEY GROW TIRED OF IT.
AND THEN I BEGIN PAYING THEM.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THEN-- THEN I STARTED TO
TWITTER JUST OUT TO PEOPLE, "HEY, IF YOU'RE FREE FROM 4:00
P.M. TO 5:00 P.M., AND YOU CAN GO TO THIS COFFEE SHOP--" I
WOULDN'T SAY THE COFFEE SHOP.
I WOULD CONTACT THEM LATER ON TWITTER.
AND I'LL PERFORM MY HOUR FOR YOU AND JUST FOR YOU.
>> Stephen: JUST RANDOM PEOPLE ON TWITTER "I'M GOING TO DO MY
SPECIAL?" >> I WOULD RESEARCH THEM.
I WOULD GO THROUGH THEIR TWITTER FEED AND GO, "WHAT'S GOG?"
SO I GOT TO CHECK OUT MY AUDIENCE, PRESCREEN THE
AUDIENCE.
>> Stephen: OH, WOW.
WE SHOULD TRY THAT HERE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
WELL, MARIA, IT WAS LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: MARIA'S COMEDY SPECIAL "OLD BABY" IS ON
NETFLIX.
MARIA BAMFORD, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY PERFUME GENIUS.
STICK AROUND.