Wog-one, peeps, you're locked in to Big Narstie video bits
right now. And it's Stream #WithMe.
I've got man like Stevo The Mad Man looking like Simon Phoenix.
Yeah. I've got ManlikeHaks in the building.
-Wog-one, brother. -We're doing this for the NHS, for the corona.
Look, a massive... [indistinct]
I'm the judge, yeah. So no cheating.
There's only one rule. I make the rules, and I'm gonna be fair.
Like Judge Dredd.
So, we're gonna get straight into it.
Stevo, Haks...
You lot are judging your own questions
'cause you are at home because of the lockdown.
That's a bad choice, I know.
Well, I can guarantee you lot are gonna
have some good flippin' principles about yourself.
And judge honestly.
-Honest. -Yes. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I mean, listen... Yeah.
-100% -[Narstie] All right.
You got your pen and paper, yeah?
-Yes, darling. -We don't call them out, do we?
No, you don't call them out.
All right. First question.
Narstie... That's me. Duh.
...and Stevo, both have a supply of toilet rolls in the loo.
It's about toilet paper.
-Yeah? -[Haks] Yes.
If Narstie gives Stevo one roll,
they will both have the same number of rolls.
However, if Stevo gives Narstie a roll,
Narstie will have twice as many rolls as Stevo.
How many toilet rolls are in each loo?
For God's sake. I...
-[Narstie beeps] -I...
I left Cambridge years ago,
and my knowledge of toilet roll and adding up really isn't that great.
[Stevo] How many...
[beeping]
What's the last bit?
Well, that is the last bit.
If Narstie took a poo and gave Stevo a toilet roll,
would be the same.
But if Stevo gave Narstie the toilet roll,
-he would be... -[Stevo] I thought, like...
I know. I know. I got the answer.
I know. It's smart.
I'm not stupid.
[Narstie] All right.
You got the answers, yeah?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -[Stevo] Aye.
-Second question. -[Haks] First one I've got.
Go on.
Which country has the most pyramids?
[in an accent] It's not multiple... Multiple question?
Just... You just asking that question?
[in an accent] It's just a question.
Which country... [continues mumbling]
[in normal accent] Dawgs! Dawg! Shut up, bruv!
[in normal accent] Are you ready for the third question? You sure?
Yeah, yeah.
All right. This one's gonna terminate the thing, blood.
Arnold Schwarzenegger had a pet donkey.
What was his name?
-Pet donkey. -If...
-Wonkey... -[Stevo] Knowing him...
...Kanye or Lulu?
Oh, I think I know this one.
I think, yeah.
You know... Or it could just be a guess, but...
Can you say the names again, please?
Their names are Jeff...
...Wonkey, Kanye or Lulu?
-You see... -I reckon it's Jeff.
Oh!
[Haks] Man...
-What's your problem, dude? -[Narstie laughing]
That's why you will never win a quiz show.
[laughing]
-[Stevo] Right, I'm done. -[Haks] I'm done.
-Question four, please. -Number four, Narstie.
Number four. We're really elevating.
[Haks] Ding ding.
All right, we're going to the next round.
We'll go ahead to the next round.
Next round is on how good you lot know each other,
so based on you guys.
-Under pressure. -I know you.
I know you.
Oh, I know him more than he knows me,
'cause he doesn't care about me. So, come on.
Ooh. Personal.
[Narstie] How many goals did Stevo The Mad Man
score when he was playing for Leyton Orient?
[Narstie] Oi! What are you smiling for?
You're such a nob.
Why are you smiling for?
Look how gassed you are right now. [indistinct]
Shearer!
[indistinct]
Oh, I don't think your goal scoring record
was anywhere near Shearer.
Hey, who dyed their hair when they played?
Someone done this.
Paul Pogba.
Poggers. Right?
How many different accents did Haks perform
on "How was your weekend?" video?
Eight?
-That's the one on YouTube, ain't it? -[Haks] Yeah.
January 2018, you done that.
-I remember that. -[laughs] Mate, you are gonna win this, I'll tell ya.
-All right. Final round, lads. -[Haks] Bamba ras!
Let's take you all the way home.
How many clapping for carers on the first day has there been so far?
Wait.
-Yeah, I think I've got it. Yeah. -[Haks] He kept up.
We don't get no clues or nothing like that?
-No! -[in Pakistani accent] No. Hold on a second.
Why do you need clue when you know what the answer is, bruv?
What was the first European country to go into lockdown?
-Bon! Bon! -[Haks] Ours.
You've got a lot of energy since you dyed your hair that color. I like it.
-I can honestly say I've only got one question wrong. -[Haks] Isolation, surely.
I think I definitely only got one question right.
-Wrong. Right. No, I... [chuckles] Hey, it's... -[Stevo] You don't even know...
All right. Cool. Let's go through to the answers. The first answer, yeah?
Narstie has seven rolls. Stevo has five rolls.
Don't ask me how it's right. No time to explain. It's just right.
-All right. -All right. I've got it wrong.
-[Narstie] Cool. Second question. -What did you write, Hak?
I... Sorry, I wrote the number one.
I wrote two. [laughs]
-Which was close! -[stammers] Okay, go, Narst.
-Which country with the most pyramids? -Egypt!
No, the answer was Sudan.
I knew it, and I wrote Egypt.
I knew it was another country.
It's not Egypt, Stevo. It's Sudan.
That's crazy. I didn't even know that.
-[Haks] I know. -Why do they teach us in school that it's all Egypt?
We're learning the wrong stuff in school, mate.
But I said this to you before. No, we've been lied to for years.
-Sudan. I knew it. Serengeti. Let's go. -[Narstie] Number three.
All right. Boom. Arnold Schwarzenegger's pet donkey, yeah?
-Kanye. -Wonkey.
[Narstie] No, it's Lulu.
Round two. How many goals did Stevo score for Leyton Orient?
-It was 17 in 100 appearances. -I thought it was two.
-Go on, Stevo. -[Haks in Irish accent] But hold on a second.
And I've never seen one of those on video.
Not one of your goals on video, Stevo.
-And I wrote 17. Look. Here you go. [laughs] -[Haks] Yay!
How many different accents did Haks perform
in his "How was your weekend?" video?
The answer is nine.
Wow, I guessed six, but okay.
Total claps for, yeah, for the NHS on the first day... The answer was five.
Started on March the 26th.
Yeah?
Five.
What do you mean? What do you mean? Five claps?
How many weeks? How many times have we been out here
clapping cap, Hak?
-Oh, yeah. -Yeah? Question two.
[Haks] Guys, do you want to see my answer? No, hold on.
Do you want to see my answer just for pure and utter banter for the world to see?
I wrote one million genuinely.
Look, I've been outside a million times.
-More than you, Stevo. More than you. -Fair play.
There was probably a million claps.
That's what I thought it was! Anyway, carry on. Next one, please.
-[Stevo] Final round. -Round three, yeah?
First question. The first European country to go into lockdown was Italy.
-[Haks] Thank you. -Is that right?
-[Haks] The bone... [indistinct] -[Narstie] Yeah? Italy.
-Italy, mate. Italy. -[Haks] You're doing really well, Stevo. Bloody hell.
Question two. How many seconds the government request you to wash your hands for?
[both] Twenty.
-Yeah, twenty. -[Narstie] Twenty seconds?
Yeah, only because man's seen the ad about 700 times.
But I don't want to see that ever again. You know that.
All right. So how did everyone do?
Well, I have got one, two, three,
four out of eight. 50%. What have you got, Haks?
I've got, um... I'm sorry. One, two, three, four,
-five, six... -No! No.
-Six wrong and two right. -Oh. [laughs]
[Haks] Yeah, I mean, that, honestly, is the best parlor trick.
I really wasn't ready for this tournament.
It's most definitely fixed.
But anyway, well done, Stevo. Well done, darling.
Big up to NHS. Listen. Listen.
Big up to NHS. If anyone's watching this...
any frontline workers, well done, man. We need you, and we appreciate you.
They got their emergency crew in the dunia.
Thank you, guys, for being there for us.
All right. Big up, everyone, for locking in.
Yeah, down low, we're doing this for the NHS. So there's a link down at the bottom.
Shut up some people that don't be tight, bruv. Help the people, them in need.
Yeah? NHS gang. Be there or be square.
NHS!
-[Haks laughs] -All right. Sweet, boys!
[indistinct]