Esteban Brenman - The last of the Brenmans
I am the last of the Brenman, I'm the only son of my father who is an only child,
and his father, my grandfather, had 7 brothers but they all died in the Polish and German concentration camps.
I have two sisters, so as they are women their children will not have the surname.
And my grandchildren neither since I have two daughters.
So, I am the last man of the Brenman dynasty.
And that made me think I'm the fruit of a tree expanding upwards,
where my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great-grandparents are there, and it gets bigger and bigger.
Then I thought: What did I do with all that? Am I honoring all the sacrifice, work, and suffering of my ancestors,
of the people who are part of the tree I was talking about?
Some time ago I met with my father, we usually do this just the two of us where we have these one to one conversations.
And we meet for breakfast and talk about many things and at a moment my father asks for my sister,
and says: "What do you think of Violeta?", who is my youngest sister.
And I say "Good dad, she has fun. She reads books, meets with friends, goes to the movies, the theater,
has a fun and convenient job that provides her with what she needs financially, which is very little.
And my dad looks at me, sighs and tells me: "Sure, that girl lives in cloud-cuckoo land".
But why does my father think my sister lives in cloud-cuckoo land? And even more, why do I usually feel that having a good time is not ok?
I want you to picture Louis XIV for a moment.
No, no, you are imagining a chair and it's a Louis XV.
I'm talking about the King, who reigned for 73 years, who lived in the Palace of Versailles with dozens of lavish rooms,
servants, cooks. Imagine that life for a moment.
On the other hand, think about how was actually living in that period, 300 years ago.
He was the most powerful person of the world 300 years ago. However, if he had to contact a relative far away
he should have sent a messenger who would have taken months to deliver his message.
Traveling in a wagon pulled by horses, terribly hard. Read the chronicles and you will know about the smell of that time.
There wasn't drinking water, or electricity of course, and one simple thing:
if him, or any relative, suffered from a simple pneumonia, they would have probably died.
Why do I tell you all this?
I tell you all this because somehow all of us have a better life than the most powerful person in the world 300 years ago.
Yet, I've been obsessively working since I was 16 when I started selling stickers in my neighborhood stationery stores,
and never stopped. If I wasn't working, I was thinking about work. If I wasn't thinking on the current project, it was the next.
I did everything. I set up a Tech support business, in the dot-com bubble period
we did a credit risk and payment system company that received millions of dollars but then,
years later we had to fight the crisis so as not to go bankrupt.
Then we took advantage of the exchange differences and set up a software tools company
for online marketing and many other things.
You may know some of them, like Óleo, a restaurant guide.
Until I stopped. I decided to stop four months ago, at a moment I wasn't having a good time.
I decided to slow down to devote myself to do something which value is completely unknown to us, and we weren't told how to do it: leisure.
I decided to slow down and I think it was one of the most radical decisions of my life.
Consider these two factors: first, I was financially ok, the business was doing fine.
And second, I have to keep on working for a living, I mean I don't have enough money for living without working.
So, sooner or later I will have to think on a work project.
Don't you see? Human life seems to have a natural order...
when we are kids, we play to experience the outside world.
Then, we have a period where we prepare for the world of work and then we work till we die.
Or if some are lucky, they can retire and have some years of spare time before dying.
But, why are we conditioned to play, study or prepare for work and then work to death?
Why does my father think my sister lives in cloud-cuckoo land
just because she doesn't need to sacrifice herself everyday to do what she likes, to have what she needs?
I'm the last of the Brenmans and I understood a very important thing.
I understood that my grandparents' life was marked by a very simple thing which was survival, staying alive.
Imagine the life of a person who lost his seven brothers at the hands of the Nazis.
Think about living with that, it's just surviving.
And my parents started from a different place but with the great responsability of pulling through, making progress, becoming professionals.
To be and become all that their parents couldn't be because bringing their children into this world cost their lives.
And what about a guy like me? Because somehow, I am safe, and coming from a middle-class family
meant that making progress wouldn't be a problem.
Many of the things I did were according to expectations.
At a moment, my parents insisted a lot that I should study at the University.
Then, after many years, when I became an entrepreneur they could understand that I was meant for this.
But I spent a lot of time in two universities where I learnt really useful things, but most of the time
I was trying to get a degree that wasn't for me.
And then, there are other expectations that are not that explicit.
Because my grandfather never told me: "Raise money before the Nazis come".
But in some way, I feel a kind of lack and persecution that is not related to my life.
And guilt. Yes, sometimes, when I enjoy something, I feel guilty.
It's like a voice inside that says: What are you doing? You are wasting your time, you could be at the office, you could work a bit more.
You are privileged and look how you waste it.
Sacrifice is a characteristic of the human species for many generations.
We often hear "you have to break your back working".
It's ok to have a good time, have fun but it can never be our aim.
I'm not saying don't make any efforts. If you don't make an effort, you don't get any benefit in a medium and long term.
But it seems we are told that you have to suffer to get what you want.
But what happens if what you want is not suffering, maybe for many of us it is over this crazy frenzy of working and accumulating,
or thinking that we need things that are not indispensable.
I know what you are thinking, you are thinking about people who lack the necessary for living. It's true.
There are a lot of people in that situation and it makes me very happy when I can do something to change that reality.
But honestly, I spent most of my life doing things for my own benefit.
I like to think that just as mankind lived most of the history thinking that it was impossible to avoid physical pain
just because they haven't learnt about anesthesia... Did you think about that? It was discovered 150 years ago.
Before that, people used to live with pain, to remove a bullet without anesthesia,
to undergo an oral surgery suffering pain.
In the same way maybe, we suffer and sacrifice ourselves more than necessary out of inertia.
Because today technology allows us to produce far more efficiently
medicine, food, clothes and housing. And, what do we do?
We work more, accumulate more instead of working less and distributing better.
I decided to stop to gain perspective. I decided to stop to start again to experience, find things I like to do
learn to do them and maybe make a living out of them.
For example, Guía Óleo was a game at first, because we love to dine out.
Because we wanted to share with friends those experiencies and we wanted them to do the same.
It was 10 years ago, 7 years playing and then it became our means of living.
Four months ago, after 10 years, it generated profit.
I'm telling you this because I don't want to look back and see that my life was marked just by expectations.
By unconsciously repeating the stories of my ancestors or by denying them.
And my antidote for that is play, not children's breezy play
but the search of a responsible adult who is aware of the consequences without losing his sense of wonder.
I am the last of the Brenmans and yes I do believe I am honoring my father and grandfather
because I am aware of all they had to do for me to be here today asking myself all these questions.
And I believe the best way to honor them is accepting that in this life it's my turn to be happy.
So, I tell my father, my mother, my grandparents Celia, Samuel, Moisés, Frida; my great-grandparents: Thank you.
I tell them: We are safe.