- No one likes being in the friend zone
but it turns out you probably put yourself there.
That's right I'm coming outta the gate swinging today.
There's something each of the 16 personality types
do that makes them likable, even lovable,
but keeps them
whatcha friend zoned. (whip cracks)
We're expecting that were you?
You always gotta stay on your toes
when you're watching Franks James.
(chuckles) I can't even say my own name.
It's not even a hard name!
But I can karate chop you (hand smacks)
at any second.
Anyway, being friends is great of course.
I mean, who doesn't wanna be friends with someone
they're romantically interested in but the feelings
aren't reciprocated and they start telling you
about all the other people they're dating
who don't appreciate 'em the way you do?
It's fantastic.
Anyway, I, the love doctor,
as you can see from the stethoscope,
I'm gonna break down for you
not just how each type gets friend zoned whatcha!
You weren't watchin' out.
But also what you can do to rectify the situation.
Watch out for the friend zone.
♪ Watch out for the friend zone ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
The most important rule of being attractive
to others is to buy a cool
and attractive hoodie at infj.me/store.
I'm kidding, but it's a nice hoodie
and it supports the channel.
ESTJs and ENTJs,
yelling at people might be your hobby
but it's not anyone else's okay?
Put the legal pad down,
close the briefcase,
you cannot solve your way through this.
I don't care that you have a 10 page plan
laid out with every problem accounted for.
The problem for you guys is this.
You're over-planning and over- controlling the situation
to be as efficient as possible.
Well, I hate to break it to you
but your productivity grind set is making your crush
think that you're unable and unwilling to have fun.
Turn off your brain for a moment.
I know it feels unnatural
to not be on top of everything you have to do,
but just take a deep breath.
Your lack of chill makes it hard
for people to get close enough
to respect how driven and ambitious you are.
Give yourself a break,
and that way you can stop being superhuman
and start being approachable.
Imagine that.
ESFJs and ENFJs,
how is it that you can market an Instagram page
but you have such a struggle of marketing yourself?
There's no one more image conscious than you guys.
You know what's likable and how to make anything look good,
including putting out a curated image of yourself.
The only problem is we all know
you're doing it because it's a bit too perfect.
So when you do this,
your crush is gonna feel like they don't really
know the real you.
They might even think you're fake.
The trick is to let a little bit of your dark side out.
We all know you have strong opinions hidden
behind that big Hollywood smile,
behind that big crazy
Tom Cruise smile of yours. (blade sharpening)
Let yourself be a little contemplative and withdrawn.
Did I pronounce that right?
(chuckles) Contemplative?
Siri, did I pronounce that right?
I don't know what you are talking about.
Be a little controversial even,
maybe pronounce contemplative wrong.
It's great to share a lot of warmth and positivity
but people get nervous that you're not being real with them.
And that hint of independence, that edge,
will transform your image from one in millions
to one in a million.
ESTPs and ESFPs,
just because you thought something was cool
when you saw it on TikTok
doesn't mean copying it in real life is cool.
The thing that makes ESTPs and ESFPs so great
is how quick they are to try something new
in the hope that it's gonna be the coolest thing ever.
It's great to always be on the lookout
for the latest, coolest things.
But if you never take a break from that,
it can be a bit too try hard.
Your crush might
be friend zoning you (whip cracks)
because they see you as someone who's just chasing
the next shiny thing
and always trying to hog the spotlight.
So to counteract this,
help someone else who is maybe a bit shy and nervous
enjoy the limelight for a moment.
Bring other people into the social space that you navigate
with such ease and make them feel cool and fun.
This is sure to put you in a new light
and add depth to your image.
ENTPs and ENFPs,
everyone loves a class clown
but no one likes it longer than 15 minutes.
You guys are some of my favorite types.
Don't tell the other types I said that.
The speed at which your brain
makes associations is incredible,
and your charm and cheekiness is delightful.
I often say, "Those types are so cheeky."
However, one of the problems
with having a permanent explosion brain
is not giving anyone else room to breathe.
It's great to make a situation light and playful
but there's a point where instead of making people laugh
it feels like you don't take anything seriously.
Which is a great way
to get yourself whatcha (whip cracks)
friend zoned, player.
When in the midst of a conversation,
when your clever brain starts going effing crazy,
take a second to notice
if the person you're talking to
needs or wants that right now.
I mean, maybe they do want your sense of humor
to cheer them up,
but maybe they just need a patient listener instead.
This change will revamp your image
to class clown with a heart of gold.
Watch out for the friend zone.
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Stay out the friend zone ♪
♪ Get outta there ♪
I picked like the hottest possible costume
I could have worn today.
ISTJs and ISFJs guess what?
You guys love guessing don't you?
That's like the worst thing you could say
to an ISFJ or ISTJ.
You might be good at tutoring
everyone in math and English,
but the chemistry isn't happening in real life.
See what I did there?
There's nothing wrong with being dutiful and dedicated
towards the things that matter
like taxes and paperwork.
I mean, I'm certainly running
to you guys when I need to like reorganize my closet.
But one of the problems of being the perfect helper
is that no one knows how much
you want to come out of your shell and have fun.
That's right, you're actually so good at what you do
that your crush is thinking
you're too predictable.
So when you're sitting there and you're helping someone out,
you're tutoring them in math,
you're helping them clean out their closet,
and a silly joke occurs in your head,
don't hide it under a bushel.
You know, maybe it's just an awkward pun
or a dorky dad joke,
but it's still practice towards being quirky and surprising.
It's okay to color outside the lines sometimes.
And that will make the amount of focus and precision
you naturally have shine even brighter.
INTJs and INFJs,
wait a second,
those don't exist.
Why are we talking about them?
They're not real people.
- They're just like, not important.
Like, they don't matter.
- Okay, obviously you guys are real,
but that's kind of the joke.
You're spending so much time contemplating
the human condition that you're not
living the human condition.
You're getting friend zoned (whip cracks)
because you're coming across as a bit out there
and not in a good, charming way.
But in the, "I worry that this person
"is totally outta touch with reality,"
kind of way.
Unfortunately, yes, I am about to tell you to go outside.
Frank how could you do this to us?
I trusted you man.
While it may feel scary to leave the comfort
of your cozy brain habitat
to spend time experiencing life with others,
having those new experiences
is what can really supercharge your imagination.
It's a perfect time to share those insights
you've been collecting your whole life.
Let people realize that you're actually
in touch with reality in a very profound way,
in a way that they can't even imagine.
The key is you have to exist in the outside world
for this depth to be seen and appreciated.
Watch out for the friend zone.
♪ Watch out for the friend zone ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Stay outta the friend zone ♪
♪ Oh yeah oh ♪
ISTPs and INTPs,
everyone thinks you're being mysterious
but you're really just too nervous to talk to anyone.
My favorite thing about these types
is how deep your curiosity is.
You're genuinely interested in digging down into a topic
until you hit the bedrock of understanding.
The problem is no one has any idea
just how fascinating this knowledge is,
'cause when you told them about it,
you info dumped so intensely
that while you were busy explaining the difference
between entropy and enthalpy they walked away.
I don't even know what enthalpy is.
Am I even pronouncing that right?
You're like an NPC in a video game
trying to get across all this deep lore,
and then your crush is just skipping through your dialogue
and then selecting the friend zone option.
I mean the friend zone (whip cracking)
option whatcha. (whip cracking)
The trick to presenting this information
is dropping hints of the topic in which you are fascinated
and then observing how others accept the information.
It's so important to pay attention
to how the other person reacts to what you say.
By determining what aspects of what you love
are fascinating to others,
you'll find yourself able to connect
beyond just being friends,
if you know what I mean.
ISFPs and INFPs,
put down the guitar,
John Lennon wannabe,
this is an intervention.
Sadly, half the people in the comments are like,
"Who's John Lennon?
"I don't know who that is."
Don't make me cry.
The beauty of you guys
is how deeply in touch and attune you are
to your emotions and values.
It's impressive how rich your inner world is.
The problem is no one cares.
(laughs) 'Cause most people never hear you articulate it.
If you want other people to be close to you,
you need to start sharing those things
that you care deeply about.
'Cause your crush is kind of getting the impression
that you're a bit aloof,
which is getting you FZ'd, friend zoned.
Now look, I know it's a bit ironic
because you're such deep feelers,
but I know that you guys don't really
love talking about how you feel.
You guys prefer to use vehicles like humor
or music and those things are without a doubt
excellent ways to express how you feel
but it can create barriers for others
when the only way you can ever share yourself
is through an external medium.
Practice actually verbalizing
what about your feelings resonates with you?
Even if it feels insincere or forced
it will open doors for people to see beyond the surface.
You know, a lot of this comes down to being misunderstood.
For a video about which type
is the most misunderstood click right here.
Thanks for watching.
And until next time,
stay cool and attractive.
♪ Watch out for the friend zone ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Stay outta the friend zone ♪
♪ Oh yeah oh ♪