No matter how big or small, almost all of us experienced some kind of trauma as children.
These traumas could vary from having your favorite stuffed toy thrown in the trash,
to being abandoned by your best childhood friend, to being physically or emotionally
abused by your parents.
Inner child work is a vital component of inner work because it reconnects us with a wounded
element of ourselves: the child within.
When we reconnect with this fragmented part of ourselves, we can begin to discover the
root of many of our fears, phobias, insecurities and sabotaging life patterns.
This is where the true healing happens!
The concept of "the inner child" is that deep within each of us is the memory of the child
outgrown.
And this "inner child" continues to live and interact with the present, even as it reflects
the past.
The inner child is the source of a person's vitality and creativity.
Developing a relationship with your inner child can also heal emotional problems that
result from not honoring that part of yourself or even damage from a traumatic childhood.
Life in the adult world can threaten to extinguish your inner child's flame, but you can fight
back against those pressures by embracing and reconnecting with your childhood source.
Here are 7 steps for reconnecting to and healing your Inner Child:
1.
Reconnect with your childhood.
One way to rekindle the relationship with your inner child is to "time travel" back
to your childhood.
Do this by making a list of things that brought you joy when you were young.
Explore these lovely memories and try to recall that childhood wonder.
Revisiting these activities is also a good idea.
Remember and reconnect with everything that is possible from sports, whether that's soccer,
football, basketball, baseball, or something else.
Exploring the woods.
Playing pretend.
This can be dressing up and having a tea party or even fighting off a band of mean, sneaky
pirates.
Color, whether in a child's or adult coloring book.
Indulge in a favorite childhood treat, whether it is a favorite cereal, something your mom
would make you, or a treat.
2.
Look at pictures of yourself as a child.
Go through old photo albums and rediscover what your younger self looked like.
Let that image be burned into your brain because it will serve you well throughout the rest
of your inner child work.
You might even like to put photos of yourself next to your bedside table, in your wallet,
or around the house just to remind yourself of your inner child’s presence.
3.
Listen and accept your inner child’s feelings.
One important way to get in touch with your inner child is to pay close attention to feelings
that pop up in your daily life.
These can be traced back to many of the wonderful and painful experiences of childhood when
you were young and impressionable.
The inner child's fears and insecurities, as well as his joys and feelings of wonder,
often unfold into the emotional patterns of our adult lives.
Throughout the day, check in with yourself.
Ask, "what am I feeling right now?"
Try to put words to these feelings.
You may experience frustration if feelings of anger or insecurity well up inside you.
It's important to let yourself feel this energy, however, because this is the inner child speaking
to you.
He may throw a tantrum or get sorrowful.
You can accept these emotions without "giving in" to them.
Acknowledge them and then move on without letting them dictate your actions.
4.
Write a letter to your inner child.
This can be an apology if you feel like you've neglected your inner child and want to repair
that connection.
It can also be a simple letter expressing your desire to strengthen the friendship.
Tailor your letter to the type of inner child you have.
If he is fearful, try to reassure him and soften those fears.
If he's worried about being abandoned, let him know that you will do your best always
to be there for him.
If he is playful, tell him you want to honor that lighthearted freedom.
5.
Take your inner child seriously.
You may be tempted to push your inner child away because his problems seem irrelevant
to your life as an adult.
This isn't true, however, since many of our deepest feelings are carried forward by the
inner child.
Avoid the temptation of disregarding or ignoring your inner child.
He can't be sidestepped.
Listen to him like you would an actual child in front of you.
He is just as real and his feelings matter just as much.
6.
Cultivate an open space.
Your inner child is a vulnerable person.
He may need a safe space before he shows himself.
Many people hide or deny the existence of the inner child because they think it makes
them look weak.
To let your inner child shine through, be gentle and affirming.
Approach him softly, like a small animal whose trust you want to gain.
Sit quietly and tell your inner child that you want to know more about him, that you're
available to talk, and that you want him to feel safe.
This may sound silly, but what you're doing is accessing another part of yourself and
your unconscious mind.
7.
Use re-parenting to heal.
Re-parenting is based on the idea that as an adult you now possess the knowledge and
resources to give your inner child what he needs.
If you feel like your inner child needs some healing before he can show up in your life
at his best, this can be a good approach to try.
You know better than anyone what he needs, based on hurtful experiences in his past,
and how to help.
For example, if your parents never gave you a birthday party, throw one for yourself.
Invite your friends and tell them you're making up for this part of your childhood.
For another example, affirm yourself when you know you've done something you can be
proud of.
Say "I'm proud of myself and my achievements."
Healing your inner child will take work and determination.
Please remember that your inner child is a real part of your subconscious mind, a wounded
child who needs your love, care and compassion, because no one else can heal his pain and
help him to make peace with
the past.