After my family and my friends,
the number one thing that has had a hugely positive impact on my life
is, without a doubt, books
and what I want to do today
is share three of the most valuable ones with you --
not just the key-takeaways,
not the things that you can go do right now
but actually how these books impacted my life --
the decisions that I made because of these.
And I do that in the hopes that you will be inspired
to go out, buy these books, and read them
because in their totality they are so powerful
and if you live by the philosophies in these books,
you can see some spectacular changes in your life.
So the first book that really had a massive impact on me
is The 4-Hour Workweek
and I encountered this book probably I was about 22-23 years old --
I had just become a management consultant fresh out of college.
And from the outside looking in, things were good.
I had this cool job straight out of college, I was making good money,
people around me thought it was very prestigious, when I told my aunts
they thought it was great, the management was very smart,
very friendly, everybody that I worked with was kind --
it seemed like this is exactly what you want --
this is what I was told that I should want my entire life.
But I was depressed.
I would wake up in the morning with this sense of small dread
and it wasn't like a depression where you didn't want to get out of bed
but it was just when I look forward to the next day,
and the next day, and the next year, and the next 10 years,
I didn't see a time
where I was going to spend my days doing something I loved.
I was always going to be working, you know,
doing this and then working for the weekend.
While there might be achievements within that
and it's fun to achieve, I wasn't fulfilled
like there was no passion behind what I was doing.
And I recognize this as a tremendously first world problem --
I'm grateful for it but I couldn't continue like that
and it wasn't until I encountered The 4-Hour Workweek that I realized
there was another option.
There's not just bad jobs where you're paid for and your bosses stink
and then good jobs where you've got friendly people.
There's an entire end to this spectrum
which is you create in-views business.
This is the type of business
that allows you tremendous freedom, to travel,
do the things that you want, the hobbies that you like,
and you can make it something you're passionate about
and that's where Charisma On Command eventually came from
after, I should say, -- and I'll talk about these in another video --
a number of failed attempts at other businesses
but, really, what the 4-hour workweek did
is it got me started on this path.
The first business I ever did was a parkour training DVD that I did
on the side while I was a management consultant.
So that book forever changed my life,
put me on the path that brings me to you today.
So the second book that was huge
was How To Win Friends And Influence People.
This is by Dale Carnegie, it's like 80 years old, and it's amazing
even though the title is kind of cheesy
as it is with a lot of these books
but this one is so special because for me
I had started working on The 4-Hour Workweek stuff
but what I realized is -- I had a partner, Ben,
who is my co-founder of Charisma On Command --
he lived in New York, I lived in Washington DC.
I was kinda depressed not just with my work
but I didn't have a ton of friends in the city.
He was my best friend -- he was in New York.
I wanted to leave but I felt stuck by this job
and what How To Win Friends actually help me do
was to go into the president of my company's office
and have a 20-minute conversation with him
that ended in him giving me
a remote work arrangement from New York City.
I got to go, I got to live with my friend,
I got to spend more time in the evenings working on this business --
it was awesome but I tell you this --
if I had not read How To Win Friends And Influence People
and if you don't read How To Win Friends And Influence People,
you will probably go around talking about yourself
and the things that you want all the time.
So the conversation that I would have had with this boss
had I not read the book would have been,
"I'm not happy here, I need to move cities,
I appreciate everything but it's just time for me to go,"
me, me, me, right?
What I wound up doing instead after reading this book
and taking copious notes was going and saying, "Here's the deal --
things aren't working out great for me in Washington DC
not just with the job but i'm not I'm not feeling great.
But I don't want to leave you guys hanging.
I'm going to move to New York
but I want to do it in a way that is best for you.
So whether that means I adjust my deadline for leaving,
whether that means that I go
and I commute back to help you guys transfer over,
whether that means that I work remotely --
whatever is best for you.
You've been amazing to me and I want to return the favor."
When I came in from that perspective,
he was so accommodating -- also he's a cool dude -- I appreciate that
if he ever sees the video, thank you,
but when you talk to what people want and need
and not to your wants and needs,
you're going to be so much more influential,
you can have better friends, and a better life.
So that's the second book I absolutely recommend.
The third book is called The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
and the time where I kind of really needed this book
is I moved to New York City, I had this remote work arrangement and
it was incredible but what happened was
after about six months of working in New York
I got let go because no longer was I an employee, I was a contractor.
So now I'm 23-24 years old living in New York,
I've got a mountain of student debt, I'm not making any income,
and I'm still so poor that I'm sleeping on my friend's floor
on a mattress that I got from Target, like, I do not have money
and I had to make a really serious decision --
do I jump back into the corporate world
wholeheartedly, try to get my finances stable,
or do I commit to this entrepreneurial thing
that really hadn't taken off yet?
And it was The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem
that really helped me get clear on what I needed to do
because this book, I recommend it to you if you're in
a position where you need to make a tough decision,
if you don't feel confident in the things that you're doing,
if you feel like you're being the type of person other people push around --
this book gets you honest on your BS.
The lies that you tell yourself about the things you have to do
and the way that you have to be versus the way that you truly desire.
And when I went through the exercises in this book,
it became crystal clear to me
that even if the entrepreneurial endeavor failed, fell flat on its face,
I would not be able to respect myself if I hadn't tried
and so when I was let go, I never looked back.
I scrounged, I did odd jobs, but my focus
was always on creating a business for myself
and that business turned into Charisma On Command.
So these are the three books.
The 4-Hour Workweek -- I recommend it to you
if you're stuck in your career
or you feel like you don't like your major
or your job or you just want more from your 40-plus hours a week
that you spend working -- that's the book for you.
Second book, How To Win Friends And Influence People --
if you're human, you need to read this book.
It's going to impact all of your relationships in a tremendously positive way.
And then third, The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem --
if you feel like your confidence is wavering
like maybe you're allowing things to happen
that are that are diminishing your self-esteem, this book can help.
So I hope that you liked those books.
If you do, go out and read them and of course subscribe to the channel.
I'm heavily, heavily influenced by those.
We also covered tons of different things
charisma breakdowns, other videos like this that will help you
be the most charismatic, confident, and awesome version of yourself
so I hope that you've enjoyed this video