- My neighborhood kids just love to go down by the river
and we're always telling them there are too many risks.
Drowning, catching a cold.
As a mother I am concerned.
We decided to hide the life vests.
We did not want to send the message that it was okay
to be going in, in the first place
and we keep telling them, don't you dare do it.
There's a shark.
Would you believe that some of the parents
at the school want to have swimming lessons
during a school day.
It's as if they want to see their kids drown.
There is a little teeny tiny problem
with abstinence only education.
A little teeny tiny issue of being
entirely removed from reality.
Fun fact, your grandparents when they were teenagers
they were doing it.
Your great, great grandparents, doing it.
Your great, great, great, great...
Okay, you get the point.
And teenagers today, I'm going to let you in
on a little secret.
They're still having sex.
And it's not really just teenagers.
95 percent of Americans are having sex
before they get married.
That's probably because in reality
most people end up feeling ready for sex
before they end up feeling ready to get married.
These are shows that are giving kids information
that they need to make healthy informed decisions
about sexuality, actually delays the age
that they first have sex
and it lowers pregnancy rates, and STI's
and that the kids who are taking the abstinence oaths
they're the most likely to get pregnant
or an infection.
So why is it then that 27 states in the U.S.
have abstinence based education programs?
Why is it that only 12 states
require medically accurate sex ed?
Why is that only eight states require
that the information be unbiased.
Seriously, my brain, ah.
The motive behind abstinence only education is fear.
The program does talk about STI's.
It's not to teach you about STI's.
It's to show you the most gruesome, extreme
scary pictures they can find.
They talk about birth control.
They exaggerate the rates of failure
and say that it's not a reliable way to prevent pregnancy.
Liar.
They make girls scared by telling them
that they are whores if they have sex.
Liar.
They're a lock and boys are a key.
Sexist and a liar.
That sex before marriage will ruin your relationship.
Liar.
That if you have sex a chemical will be released
in your brain that will make you attached
to the person forever.
Lie, lie, lie, liar.
Education, don't go there.
This isn't education.
This is anti-sex propaganda.
That your taxes you're about to pay
in the next few months, pay for.
And the best part about it is that
it doesn't curb STI's or pregnancy.
It doesn't stop people from having sex.
It just ensures that when people do have that sex
that it's the most guilt-ridden, unenjoyable
and uninformed experience possible.
"Hey Laci, is it bad if I don't want to have sex?"
Absolutely not.
The option not to have sex is just as important
as the option to have sex.
Becoming sexually active before you're ready
is when sex can go all blah.
Don't push yourself or someone else for that matter
if you're not ready.
In the meantime, learn a thing or two about your body.
I may or may not be talking about masturbation.
To think about what you want out of your relationships
and how can you know if you're ready.
Here's a sex plus checklist.
Do you trust each other?
Do you feel safe together?
Can you talk about it if something's bothering you?
Do you listen to each other?
Do you talk about having sex together?
By that I mean you can talk openly
about what you want out of a relationship.
Boundaries.
Birth control if you're having heterosex.
Sexual health status and STI's.
Don't feel like you need alcohol or drugs
to have sex, right?
You know how to use condoms and dental dams
to prevent STI's.
Last but not least, you both feel ready to do it,
you both want to do it, and nobody's pressuring the other.
If you answered yes to all of these questions
you might be ready to become sexually active.
But here's a crazy question.
Where are teens supposed to figure out
how to prevent STI's and pregnancy?
How to communicate and foster a healthy relationship.
Where do they learn about what consent looks like?
Where between the sexist analogies
and the false information do teens learn
how to navigate sexuality in a healthy way?
As a peer educator who has worked with thousands of teens
across the U.S.,
I'll tell you the answer, nowhere.
These policies of ignorance, fear, and shame
have got to stop.
Alright babes, make sure you like me on Facebook,
follow on Twitter.
I'm also on Tumblr, check it out.
I'll see you again soon.