learn influence and persuasion NLP techniques stay tuned hey this is Damon
Cart from NLP Gym learn influence and persuasion. If you haven't already please
click subscribe to this YouTube channel so you can get these videos on a regular
basis also I plan to create an influence and persuasion online training and I
want to hear from you in the comments below tell me about why you want to
learn influence and persuasion what areas of your life you would like to be
able to persuade and influence better and what are the obstacles or the
problems or the resistance that you come up against when you want to persuade and
influence people when persuasion and influence really comes down to is why do
people make decisions or why do people make the choices that they do or why do
they not take action or why do they take action what is it that compels people to
do something to decide something to not do something and not making a choice or
not making a decision is also a decision it may not seem that way but it most
definitely is so why do people decide to do what they decide to do what I found
is that and this is very generally speaking if you drill down on any
situation and any particular person this might be slightly different so I am
talking in a very general sense but at a very general sense we seek to stay in
comfort or to make decisions to put us into comfort or move away from
discomfort you've probably heard before that an object in motion will stay in
motion unless another force acts upon it also an object at rest will stay at rest
unless another force acts upon it people are very much the same way and when when
we're in our comfort zone it will take a lot to push us out of that comfort zone
or it take a lot for us to make a decision into a situation that we feel
might cause us discomfort or to put ourselves into an uncomfortable situation
or an unfamiliar situation we naturally gravitate to comfort and the familiar
and this is why rapport is so important but that's not what this video is about
I've done other videos on rapport and that's why but that's why rapport is so
powerful because people are seeking that comfort they're seeking the familiar now
this can actually be a real problem there are lots of dangers that come
along with seeking comfort and staying in comfort because a lot of people will
do that to their own detriment but that's also another video let's focus on
persuasion here so let's say you want to persuade someone to do something to buy
something from you to go on a date with you
to make a choice or decision other than what they're currently doing so let's
say they're in their comfort zone when you're talking to them so you you meet
them for whatever reason maybe it's an appointment and already they're in their
comfort zone we'll call it their comfort box now to get them to come out of that
comfort zone is when you're basically asking them to do something or you're
trying to persuade them to do something so this might be buying something from
you and most people find it uncomfortable to part with their money
so how are you going to get them to get out of their comfort zone and do
something else because what they perceive anything outside of this
comfort zone if they do anything outside of that out of this it will bring them
discomfort so I'm comfortable I'm sitting at home I'm watching TV and
somebody says you should exercise or maybe I see a commercial on TV or maybe
my wife or someone says you know you shouldn't be watching TV all the time
you should go out there and get some exercise so to me in my comfort zone
that sounds like discomfort and people will like I said will do anything to
move away from discomfort and move toward comfort and also this is very
familiar to me I'm I'm happy where I am not doing anything I know my
surroundings but this idea of going to exercise or this idea of I need to pull
out my wallet and hand over some money this sounds like discomfort to me so I'm
not going to do that or I don't want to do that and this is the hard
part this is the obstacle when it comes to persuasion you're asking someone to
do something different other than what they're currently doing and what they're
currently doing even if it's bad even if it's hurting them in some way is
familiar and comfortable to them otherwise they wouldn't be doing it so
you're asking them to go into this so how are you how do you do that what you
have to do is if comfort is something they value highly then you have to show
them somehow you have to demonstrate that by doing what you ask them to do
they will somehow achieve a higher level
comfort by going into here experiencing some discomfort they will get to a
higher level and I could say it could be comfortable or it could be another value
there you might identify something else that they value even more than comfort
and then they would be willing to move out of this one way that I persuade
people one of the most powerful ways that I persuade people it's not some
flashy language pattern I just find out what's important to them you can assume
that to most people comfort is important to them comfort is like I said what
we're often unconsciously seeking as human beings we can consciously override
this unconscious desire for comfort and postpone gratification so when you're
persuading someone this is what you want to tap into how are you going to do that
is by identifying a somehow where you can help them achieve a higher level of
comfort or by identifying a value that is higher than comfort to them that is
more important to them and how you do that is just by I simply ask people a
lot of times either what do they want or what's important to them when I
was in sales that's often a question that I would ask them in the context of
the sale that I was looking to make it was what's important to you in this
what's important to you in this service what's important to you in this product
if you've got them face to face they at least have enough interest to understand
or understand better what it is that you're you're pitching them or you have
their you have their attention for a little bit so there is something that is
compelling them to at least give you their attention so then you go to what's
important to you in this area why did they show up to begin with why are they
even listening to you there's something there
that indicates that there is something that they perceive that might be
important here so ask them about that and the more you can ask about what is
important to them and gaining clarity about it the more you can learn what
those higher values are and then package whatever it is that you're selling into
their higher values and when you do that and then you can get them out of the
immediate comfort into discomfort and move them to the higher level so if I'm
going to buy something from you what you're asking me to do is part with my
money which doesn't feel comfortable but if you can guarantee me that the value I
will receive will be greater than the comfort that I'm in right now even if it
might come later that's what persuasion is all about
think about the conscious choices you've made recently when I say conscious you
want to think about those choices and you thought through not the choices that
you did automatically because most of time we are on autopilot most of the
time we've already made decisions and that's what gives us our routines and
we're on autopilot in life most of the time so I don't mean those decisions we
make hundreds of decisions every day without even thinking about it think
about the decisions that you actually think about what was the last decision
that you actually thought through and then ask yourself what value were you
looking to fulfill maybe you're in a situation where you didn't make a
decision remember what I said that is actually
a decision so by not making a decision what were you seeking most of the time when
we don't make decisions we don't do anything about something it's because
we're feeling comfort right now and we might not understand where that decision
if we make a decision where that might take us and that can be a little bit
scary and that also makes us think well that's unfamiliar territory but I know
right now I'm in familiar territory right now I feel comfortable right now I
don't have an imminent threat looming on me I am fine right now and if I make a
decision if I do something different I might not be okay and this is what
people are often thinking sometimes consciously but a lot of times
unconsciously so when you did make a decision say a recent decision what got
you to get out of your comfort zone and to try for something greater than the
comfort zone you are in so when it comes to exercise if I understand that I can
go through some temporary discomfort say for an hour and after that hour I'm
going to feel good about myself and I'm going to feel mentally and physically
better that's mine that might be better to me than the immediate comfort that
I'm in right now if I'm going to spend extra money on a brand new car the
comfort and the luxury in that car might be worth it to me because I will
perceive that there is greater comfort in driving in that car than the car
that I'm driving in right now when it comes to persuading people you need to
know where they are right now and that's where pacing comes in so you paced the
situation what is comfortable for them right now
what is their situation right now what is their reality and world right now in
this situation and when you understand that then you can lead them beyond the
discomfort of making a decision that will bring them out of where they're at
right now and into another reality where they're getting more of what they want
maybe they're more comfortable or they're achieving or fulfilling a
higher value than what they're currently in so pace and then lead them and
you're going to lead them in the direction that they want to go anyway you're
leading them toward something else that they want and that value is going to be
fulfilled by what it is you're persuading them to do check out my
website NLP-Gym.com follow me on Facebook for real-time updates on
upcoming trainings online trainings and talks that I might be giving in your
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well and remember in the comments below tell me about what areas of your life
you would like to be a better persuader and a better influencer
and let me know what objections and what resistance do you come up against when you're persuading and
influencing take care