[SOLEMN ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
RAANNE: (TEARFULLY) He took my childhood.
He took everything. [SOBS]
Yeah.
[SOBBING] - He took my--
IYANLA (VOICEOVER): The last time
I sat down with Ms. RaAnne, she had an emotional breakthrough
about her childhood.
All of it-- you just let it all come up, OK?
IYANLA (VOICEOVER): Hopefully, now that Ms. RaAnne has had
a chance to unpack the trauma of the molestation,
she will be ready to move forward
in the healing process of her relationship with her husband,
Mr. Demetrius.
How you doing? RAANNE: Better.
Doing better?
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Good.
I'm glad you got all of that out of there.
Aren't you glad?
Yes.
- Don't you feel better? - Yes, I do.
Yeah.
[RAANNE CHUCKLING]
Good.
Sit down.
Any new awareness?
Any understandings as the result of your breakthrough?
See, I call a breakdown a breakthrough.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[RAANNE SIGHS]
Yeah, that I need to--
I need to really just forgive.
I think one of the things I would like to support you guys
in is understanding and recognizing each
other's triggers, because what I think is that y'all trigger
each other up, and then you age regress, because who
was before me today?
Not out of my mouth, but out of yours, was a 12-year-old.
Mm-hmm.
But who was holding onto her man downstairs
was a grown A woman.
[RAANNE CHUCKLES]
You know?
Who I think it is that came for you
and choke you and punch you and call you
names is a 15, 16-year-old boy.
But who was guiding you through today,
that exercise to make that sandwich-- that they never told
you just what you was making--
[RAANNE CHUCKLES]
--was a grown A man.
So I think that we gotta be able to support y'all in identifying
your triggers--
what triggered you up--
so that y'all don't put those landmines down.
When it comes to friends, y'all are great.
I'm telling you-- you've just neglected your friendship.
You gotta get back to taking care of your friendship.
When was the last time you just--
I don't know, expressed your gratitude to him?
It's been a long time.
What was the last time you saw something cute in the store,
stupid, and just bought it for him?
It's been a long time.
What's his favorite candy bar?
Um.
The Starburst.
When was the last time you bought him a bag of Starburst?
[RAANNE CHUCKLES] Um.
IYANLA: Let me tell you something.
I'd keep Starburst right down in my bra.
[WHEEZING LAUGHTER]
[CACKLING]
I tell you, any time I wanted something,
I take a [INAUDIBLE].
[RAANNE LAUGHS]
Want a treat, old boy?
[BOTH LAUGH]
That's how you roar.
That's a good idea.
That's how you roar.
That's roaring right there.
- OK. - That's how you roar.
[RAANNE LAUGHS]
Well, I got something for you.
[BOTH LAUGH]
That's how you roar.
OK. IYANLA: Yeah.
You know?
[RAANNE LAUGHS]
You whip that thing out, and you'll get him to the point
where, anytime he sees a Starburst--
[RAANNE GIGGLES]
[BOTH LAUGH]
He know-- OK, what do you want?
[RAANNE LAUGHS]
Just stand at the-- at the-- over at the side of the room,
and just wiggle it at him.
[RAANNE LAUGHS]
[BOTH LAUGH]
Yeah.
So that you make it playful.
Mm-hmm.
Doesn't always have to be so hard and taxing.
Yeah?
You gotta get back to your friend.
I really want you to get in touch with,
what do you have in here that you
need to say to your husband?
So I can help you say it, and help him hear it,
so that y'all can begin to have some clear conversations, OK?
You good?
Mm-hmm.
(HUSHED) Come on.
(NORMALLY) We gonna have roaring lessons, (LAUGHING) OK?