I know we've all lost stuff...
and you think life takes more than it gives...
but not today.
Today it's giving us something.
It's giving us a chance.
To do what?
To give a crap.
Very well.
huh?
Wait. What are you doing man?
You said to give a crap!
NO NO! That is not what I meant at all!
I am groot!
How Guardians of the Galaxy Should Have Ended
Bring me the orb!
Why exactly?
What?!
I mean all you do is sit in that chair ALL DAY LONG!
Is NOT having the orb going to change anything about your daily routine?
I will rule the universe, AND sit in this chair.
So bring me the orb, boy!
Why don't you get up out of that chair and make me?
I can't get out of this chair...
it's not my time...
plus
my legs are asleep.
You're so weird, Thanos!
Infinity waaaaar! Mwahahaha!
We have to get out of here!
I hope you have a plan!
I have a plan!
Do not shoot those windows one at a time!
All of you fire at the same window on my command!
Ready?!
Oh man!
Fire!
How would you like to get paid?
How do you think, man? Units.
Very well.
Carina, dont!
I will no longer be your slave!
*zap*
Oh dude!
Sorry! That girl look like she was about to get in between me and becoming stupid rich...
he he he. That'll be four billion units please.
*whistles*
Yes!
Your salvation is at hand!
Raaaaaah!
*sings* Ooo child, it's about to get easy times.
Ooo child, things'll be bright now.
What are you doing?
Dance off, bro! Me and you.
Some day! Something something in the beautiful sun!
Oh. Whatever. It's your funeral.
*smash*
And then, I totally destroyed EVERYTHING.
*laughter*
That's my jam!
Take my hand!
Dude! Let go!
No way!
What do we do now!?
I don't know!
What you want to do? Something good?
Something bad?
Little bit of both?
We'll follow your lead, Star-Lord.
Wait. So who's the good and who's the bad?
Hey. I'm batman. You wanna know my secret identity?
Do you want a fist to the face?
Nevermind. He's the bad.
Me?! If anything I'm the good, and you're the bad.
Or WE'RE the good and THEY'RE the bad.
Or You're the BAD and we're the GOOD, and Bla Bla Bla!
This conversation bores my brain!
So, welcome back to earth I suppose.
This is awesome! There are so many things I've missed out on!
I got this new thing called, iPod...
There's like a bazillion songs on it!
♬ butt you got a butt I got a but we all have butts. ♬
You guys sing a lot about butts now!
Why do you do that?
I don't know.
Music got weird.
So anyways. You guys saved the galaxy!
A lot of pilots died, but hey you all held hands at the end and sort of made it all better.
Yeah no kidding.
You also left an infinity stone in a city that barely has any protection left.
Did you see where I got the stone the first time?
There was like nobody guarding it.
You guys and your infinity stones.
So you're like half human and half something else...
Are you not the least bit interested in knowing who your own dad is?
What? Sorry I didn't hear you!
Did you know they made transformers movies!?
They look so weird!
He asked who your father is!
They made Ninja Turtles into a movie too! Several times!
I feel like he's conveniently dodging this topic.
You! One who is part bat and part man...
Who is your father?
Oh I'm not part bat. I just dress like a bat...
Because I'm b...
Why do you dress like a bat?
To strike fear in the hearts of my enemies. Duh.
Bats are not scary. Bats are tiny mammals.
Bats are totally scary!
You should be called "Normal Man who dresses As Bat".
I'm not just a normal man...
I'm Batman!
I am Groot.
I'm Batman.
I am Groot.
I'm Batman!
I am Groot!
I'm Batman!
I am Groot!
I'm Batman!
This could go on for a while.
I'm BATMAN!
I am GROOT!
I'm BATMAN!
I AM GROOT!
I'm BATMAN!
I AM GROOT!
I'M BATMAN!
I AM GROOT!
I'M BATMAN! I AM GROOOOOOT!
*cough*
I'm getting the hiccups.
G.I.Joe got a movie too!
Man, the future is awesome!
I need to see these movies right now!
Awe...
Well... now I know...
and knowing is half the battle.
I am Groot.
Who the heck did planted all these groots?!