Hey Tripp, I met this girl on Bumble.
We ended up going for a walk the next day.
It went really well.
Two days later, we had our second date for dinner and drinks.
Had a great time, ended up kissing when I dropped her off at home.
Three days later, we went for our third date.
Had a great time, no kiss this time, as we didn't have the right moments with people
around.
I suggested dinner that night to finish our date.
She invited me for dinner the next night.
The next day comes around and she cancels due to family issues and has been cold on
me since.
I contacted her and she apologized that she didn't have the emotional availability due
to what was going on.
She replied that she would like to see me again, and will contact me when she's up for
it.
But I haven't heard anything since.
She's not even opening up my replies even though she posts on Insta every day.
So weird.
I don't understand.
I'm so confused because she seemed really into me in person and in text since we met.
Regards, anonymous.
The question here that I'm hearing is, what do we do when they all of a sudden stop liking
you?
What do we do when they're not interested anymore?
How do we handle this?
What do we... what do we make of this?
And I get it.
Listen, this is a very frustrating moment.
If I was going through this... and by the way, I have many times...
I'd be very frustrated myself.
This is one of those things where there's not anything specific that you could do to
re-attract her.
And there's... and I know this is not the answer that you're looking for but we got
to live in reality.
And you might not know for sure what it was that turned her off.
I will help you here and I will go through what you said to see if there's anything there...
and I have a couple of ideas... but sometimes you do the few dates with someone and it just
doesn't work out.
And plus, by the way, it is it is increasing odds that the more dates you go on with a
person, the less it's going to work out.
Obviously, it's easy to get a lot of first dates, but only a few of those first dates
turn to second dates, only a few of those second dates turn into third dates, and so
on and so forth.
Just understand that it gets to a point sometimes where there just wasn't a connection, or maybe
you did something to un-attract them.
Let's figure this out.
Based on what I'm hearing you say... first of all, I'm going to get picky here because
maybe you can do something with this and everyone else listening can do something with as well.
Please don't go for walks.
Walks are not good dates.
It's hard to connect.
Imagine, just think about it logically.
If you're sitting across from someone getting coffee or having a beverage of some sort,
versus walking around, where are you connecting more?
Clearly you're connecting more when you're sitting across from them.
It is harder to connect when you're walking around and walking around is so casual.
It's what you do with friends.
It's like I don't want to set up any sort of atmosphere on the first day where it can
be considered any sort of friendly environment, which is like walking around during the day.
Walk around with your friends, but really connect and seduce.
That's funny how I say that a lot.
It sounds like I'm the guy from Magnolia if you know that movie.
But yes, connected and seduce when you are on a date where you can look at each other.
Eye contact is one of the greatest seduction tools of all time.
Being able to connect with someone and only focus on the person in front of you.
So anyway, we'll keep going here.
Now it says two days later, we had our second date.
That seems very fast to me.
But all right, you guys ended up kissing, great, everything pretty good so far.
Three days later, you want to in your third date.
I feel like you guys are going so fast.
You should only be going on a date with the girl every once once every 5 to 7 days.
And the reason why I say that is because you want a little time in there to A let her know
that you're a busy person which builds attraction, B have, in theory, time to be dating other
women.
You want to have those days open.
Of course, even if that's not happening, you still want to play that as a rule.
Only see her once every 5 to 7 days, or to make this simple once a week.
It sounds like, at this point, what you did was you rushed it, and it felt rushed.
And I have a feeling based on what you're saying here that these dates are being set
up so fast, maybe... again, this is not a guarantee, you're going to know so maybe this
is going to click for you, you are showing so much interest and you're overdoing it in
whatever you were saying.
Maybe you're saying that you liked her so much or over complimenting her.
And that pushed her away and I'm wondering if that happened based on the fact that you
guys were going on dates so close to each other.
Then you said I suggested dinner that night to finish our date.
Yeah, it's like you're almost like, doing so much.
Like let's hang out again.
Let's hang out again.
It sounds potentially needy.
And that is one of the, out of two, most unattractive traits – neediness.
Instead she was like, oh, let's just do it another night.
And then after that, it was it was done.
I think that you ended up showing some neediness.
And that is what I believe is what caused this downfall and what caused the killer of
attraction.
But maybe it didn't.
Maybe it was just not a connection from the beginning and she just didn't feel it.