(upbeat music)
- Isn't this where they shot the "Batman" movies?
- No.
- [Narrator] This is "Retouched".
The show where "Netflix Is A Joke"
unites celebrity talent with top digital artists,
to take their photos to the next level,
for the ultimate glow up.
- I'm a 27-year-old white girl,
I need photos for Instagram,
I have to keep feeding the bee-
(robotically repeating word)
- [Narrator] Today, Comedian Taylor Tomlinson
meets UK-based Photoshop master, James Fridman,
and The Assistant, for an exclusive session.
"Retouched" starts right now.
- Hey, can I call you back?
I'm just heading into an appointment.
It's something my manager set up.
It's like with some Photoshop guy.
Yeah, I guess he's a big deal, I'll call you back after.
Yeah. Okay, bye.
(doorbell buzzing)
- [The Assistant] Can I help you?
- Hi, yeah, I'm Taylor Tomlinson,
I'm here to see James Fridman.
I have an appointment.
(door buzzing)
(door opening)
Hi, I'm Taylor, I'm here for the retouching.
- I know who you are, Taylor Tomlinson.
I saw your Netflix special.
- Oh, great.
What'd you think?
(suspenseful music)
(big bang)
(light buzzing)
- Please, take a seat.
- Okay.
Why do I feel like there were like
a shit load of barrels here an hour ago?
Oh shit, is this where they film the "Batman" movies?
- No.
- Are, are you James?
- No, I'm The Assistant.
This is James.
- Oh, hi James, I'm Taylor,
I'm here to do the thing and--
- Any questions or comments
can be directed to James through me, please.
- Oh, sorry.
- Are we ready to start?
So it looks like we have three images
on the docket from you today.
The first one being this sad state of affairs.
And what is your request
for this photograph, Taylor Tomlinson?
- You can just call me Taylor,
you don't have to do the whole thing.
I was home hoping he could just edit it
so the baby is not crying.
Looks like she hates me.
(upbeat music)
- Request entered.
While James works his magic,
could you tell us a little bit more
about this particular photograph?
- Yeah, this was Halloween.
I believe I was eight,
in Modesto, California, if you know where that is.
I think "American Graffiti" was set there,
and nothing else.
And yeah, I'm dressed as a Statue of Liberty
because it was cool to like America then.
This is either my baby sister
or my baby cousin I'm holding.
To be honest, I'm not sure which,
all babies look the same to me.
And it's covered up by a pretty intense costume.
I am related to that baby, that's the important thing,
I'm allowed to be holding that baby.
- That was very informative.
James would like to go ahead
and give his thanks to you for that information.
- And I receive his thanks.
- And what is the request for photograph number two?
- I thought it would be kind of fun
if he edited the bench out entirely,
so it just looks like I'm floating.
- Very good.
(upbeat music)
Request entered.
- Oh, it does that every time?
- Yes.
- That's fun. - That's when the request
is entered into James' computer.
- Oh.
- Can you another, please.
Another story about the photograph, please.
- Oh, Sure.
- It helps James finish if he hears you talking.
- All right.
Yeah, a lot of guys are like that.
This is Runyon Canyon.
This is where basic bitches go to do laps in LA.
And I think I actually took this photo
when I was going through a really bad breakup.
And I had one of those weeks
where, I just made plans with everybody I knew.
And you're asleep.
Do you still want me to keep talking?
- I'm just visualizing.
You're doing a great job
and I'm visualizing what you're saying.
- Oh, okay, that's,
gotta close your eyes to do that.
I was going through a breakup
and I made a bunch of plans with friends of mine
and made them take photos of me
doing those activities that we planned.
And then posted them every day,
so I would look like I was doing well
and not having an emotional breakdown,
which is what was actually happening.
- Are we ready to move on to the last photo?
- Yes. The, the--
- And, what's your request for the last photo,
Taylor Tomlinson?
- For this one can he make me look like a mermaid?
(The Assistant sighing)
(upbeat music)
- Request entered.
- Oh, so this one,
it was actually a really fun trip, I went--
- Actually, James doesn't need any story for this one.
Just silence, please, while he makes miracles.
- So have you seen "Batman Begins", is--
- We need complete silence, please.
Thank you.
- Okay.
- See, he needs complete and utter silence
in order to work, he needs complete concentration.
That's why I'm asking you to be silent.
Thank you.
- You know, you're talking, right?
- When I talk it doesn't bother him,
but when you talk it does.
- Why is that?
- Because James and I share the same brain.
(James whispering)
(suspenseful music)
Yes, sir.
James is to telling me that we're all wrapped up here.
Would you like to see the photos?
- That's all he said?
- [The Assistant] Yes.
- While you were cradling his head?
- Yes.
- Yeah, I'd like to see the photos,
that's kind of why I'm here.
Did I have to come here for this?
Feel like we could have done this over email.
- Please, don't question the process, Taylor Tomlinson.
- Would've been silent over email.
(upbeat music)
- It's photography review time.
- I see what you did.
You made the baby smiling, but me crying,
and switched our costumes for some reason.
I mean, yeah, the baby looks happier,
now that she's the Statue of Liberty.
- For the record, you did ask
for us to make the baby not cry,
and James, I think did an incredible job at that,
wouldn't you agree?
- Yes, he did do that.
All right, thank you, next.
(clicks) Cool.
You move the bench and just made me fall down,
which would be what would happen
if you removed the bench in real life,
but not what would happen
if you did it in Photoshop.
- It's very good work, isn't it?
- (sigh) I don't know if you guys have the same brain,
I think he maybe gave you a piece.
- They say you are a comedian,
isn't this funny?
- No. No, it's not.
- Okay.
- But. (sigh)
- James and I think it's funny.
- I'm glad, let's do the next one.
I mean, surely you can see that this is not
what I asked for.
What is this?
Is this what you think a mermaid is?
The top part is fish.
This is what the little mermaid looked like to you?
Is about how she got her torso?
- When I look at it, I see a mermaid.
- You see a mermaid?
- [The Assistant] Yes.
- When you look at this?
- And I think it's fantastic work, James.
- Okay, clearly, all right.
Whatever this was,
whatever this is, not into it.
Don't!
I can't use these for anything.
I thought I was gonna get like
three cool promo pictures out of this.
And I'm a 27-year-old white girl, I need photos.
I need photos for Instagram,
I have to keep feeding the beast.
So these are worthless.
I know you're not gonna use them,
you creepy hipster--
- I actually, I will keep them.
- Whatever happens to these photos,
I do not want you to keep them.
Anyone can have these, he can have them.
Inmates can have these photos, you cannot have them.
You get nothing.
- Okay, I will--
- Tell James, I don't want you to have them.
- James, Taylor Tomlinson would not like me
to have these photos.
Okay.
We'll put them in James' archive
and you can come back and get them whenever you're ready.
- Yeah, I'll do that. - Thank you.
- I'll come back and get them,
that's what I'll do.
All right, have fun painting that house.
- Taylor Tomlinson says, thank you, James.
- Do you guys validate parking?
(gentle foot steps)
- Goodbye, Taylor Tomlinson.
(door banging)
(P.A dinging)
- [The Assistant] I saw that, Taylor Tomlinson.
- [Taylor] Good.