Alright, Kenny boy.....
It's the big day, now who do I choose?
Hillary Clinton...
Or Donald Trump
Oh golly, what do I do?
Really?
Vote for me!
Thirty years in the game and although Clinton's my name
I'll be damned if I let a man define the rest of my days
Vote for me
My business is booming, I'm entrepreneuring
Fighting fires with "you're fired"
Tired of wating for the legislators
Vote for me, I'm on a mission
Vote for me, I'm tired of pissing next to trannies and welfare grannies
Black Lives Matter Afghanis
Gotta be sure we don't back track
Ah
It's time to take this country back
But what are your policies?
I'd love to answer that but first, let me be shady
Tell me, how many banks are in your top ten donors, lady?
One, two, three, four
Don't declare nuclear war!
What are his policies?
Malice fueling impossible fallacies?
Ban religions, build fantasies,
A wall to keep out Wildlings
I fund your campaigns, hear the concerns?
You earn your money on the Wall Streets,
Even Bill's 'Feeling the Bern'
Or not, you haven't fronted the Bill since '95
Bring back Lewinsky, least she knew her way around a mic
Ew
You've dropped the F-word, the P-word, the C-word
And that's just the short list
The only thing I'm dropping is the mic
Great, got rid of Mike Pence
And while we're at it, drop these plagiarizing controversies
First Melania with Michelle,
Now you with white men from the '50s
Who taught you "no" means "grope", really though?
Want to wash that locker mouth out with soap
Hope you choke on that slippery slope
I grab one crotch, Republicans run for the Hillaries
If you were an intern or a balloon,
I'm certain Bill would act similarly
It's golf chat, ad hoc, my not-so-small small talk
One faux pas and I'm foe fox
I love women
Don't talk
You're so two-faced
One's white lies, one's bold faced
Now, just shift to the middle, drop that democratic base
Our economy's crumbling, it's not time for a wannabe
Least I won't nuke New York 'cause SNL makes fun of me
You're delusional, bankrupt, your casinos are trash
I'm shocked you can divide the country
Since you clearly can't do math
It's the mad T party, go grab yourself a pie chart
Cut taxes on the rich, convince poor people it's smart
Throw your marital logic at us, break the Union apart
News flash, in the last Civil War, the racists had to restart
Running a country's just like running business
I'll handle nukes like Gary Busey on Celeb Apprentice
You're fired
Boom, now there's no trouble at customs
What a deal, world peace only costs one billion Muslims
Let's make peace in the East, not copy their liturgies
Years of Obama's a Muslim
But Pence is gonna lead us like the Saudis
Please, open a book beyond the two you cite
The Bible you didn't read
And the book about you you didn't write
Between the deaths in Benghazi, and all those missing emails
This Monopoly owner votes Clinton goes directly to jail
You'll be more useful in chains than following up Barack
And while we're at it, jail him too
Orange is the new black
I'll make a mess of America, make my Mexicans clean it
Throw my name on the White House
And deport them if they can't read it
Beware the old hag
She's just Barack in drag
I'll use that black guy to end her
Just like Othello, last act
My fellow class acts, let's throw back in tow
And lynch Obama out the white's house
Jim Crow 2.0
So?
Alrighty, ok.
I think I've made my decision
Ken Bone is voting...
Third Party!
What's Aleppo?
P-A-I-N-T, subscribe!
*music overlay* Running a country's just like running business
I'll handle nukes like Gary Busey on Celeb Apprentice
You're fired
Boom! Now there's no trouble at customs
What a deal, world peace only costs one billion...