Empire Day.
A time when we all set aside our daily drudgeries
and pause to reflect on … the greatness of me!
Happy Empire Day.
Yay, me!
Yay, presents!
We recently uncovered something of interest in the Jedi archives.
The Kyber Saber.
Ooooo - Emperor likey.
What's it do?
Don't care. I want it!
Gimme, gimme, gimme!
Agent Naare,
why have you not obtained more Kyber Saber crystals?
The Emperor grows impatient
- and displeased
- and frustrated!
And, hold on ... I wrote down a few more words here.
Oh, come on.
What ship could be so amazing
that you wouldn't realize you were in the middle of a space battle?
That one right there!
Out of my way!
The N-1 Naboo Starfighter.
An Old Republic classic.
Pristine!
Still has the chromium undercarriage.
I must fly it!
That's exactly what I said.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
Face the music, Rebel cur.
Uh - Lord Vader.
Uh - We can explain.
Uh - What had happened was ...
[YELP]
[GRUNT]
[YELP]
OW!
…three square meals is key to that goal.
How did I get stuck with you two knucklehorns?
Well, I'm just saying that my body reacts very strongly if I skip meals.
Did you put me on mute?
[GASP] I would never mute you, Master.
Okay ...
What did I just say then? Hmm!
That you would blast my midi-chlorians
to the four corners of the galaxy
if I didn't show results soon?
Oooo she's good.
Lucky guess.
Ah! Naare!
Come in, come in.
Have a seat.
How was your trip?
Fine, my lord.
Good!
G-G-G-G-G-G-G-Good.
Now!
I want to assure you this is just a standard performance review.
[EVIL LAUGH]
Okay - first question.
In the last year, how many Kyber Sabers have you brought me?
Is it five or more?
Three or more?
One?
Or none?
I'll just put none.
Agent Naare.
Report.
My lord, I've been working diligently with Rowan and -
Naare - we can't hear you.
Adjust your hollow transceiver.
Oh - Sorry my lord.
How about now?
- Now we can hear you ... - But we can’t see you.
Oh [PANTING]
I don't know what's wrong ... I -
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
You totally fell for it!
What?
We could see you and hear you the entire time.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
Yes!
Ha ha!
Wait a moment.
Is that?
Are you using my Kyber Saber?
I wouldn't even let Vader touch it.
Nevermind a second-rate Sith like you.
My dear Emperor,
I am holding the most powerful weapon in the galaxy.
So, let me ask you this:
Why should I give it to you?
Uh - gonna go with blind loyalty?
Is this a trick question?
When I arrived on Coruscant
I will no longer be your servant.
I will be your Empress!
Uh huh -
This might be a problem.
I'm back!
What did I miss?
Nice of you to join us, Vader.
My Kyber Saber is gone!
I want Rowan Freemaker declared public enemy number one!
Um - Sir, you had Luke Skywalker declared public enemy number one.
Fine!
Number two then.
That is Princess Leia Organa.
Three!
Han Solo.
Four!
Five! Six!
Chewbacca, Lando Calrissian, R2-D2.
Just put him on that list.
Yes, sir. we still have the second
[SIGH]
We still have the second Death Star.
Yeah - I guess.
Whatever.
Do not hang up!
I have more words!
Restless, agitated, furious, unhappy, rage-filled.