How did it feel,
when your daughter moved out?
Well, Drew,
in all honesty, excitement.
And I'm sure every parent
when they're gonna drop their kid off at school,
to live and learn in a new environment,
it's exciting.
But the excitement lasts
only, I would say a week. (laughs)
And then the reality of it,
a lot of sadness, sorrow,
grief, loss,
actually followed that feeling of excitement.
And, you know,
just recently we've been looking to,
you know, kind of like reestablish our relationship
and strengthen,
you know, figure out ways to get connected
with intimacy again.
And tell me, what's the priority for you
in this big shift?
It's funny, she came up with a term
called a, 'relation-shift'
(Drew gasps) right?
So, which I was like,
"Wow, that's pretty clever."
It does shift back, to you.
So like me personally this year,
as an adult man,
I had like this, instead of a midlife crisis,
what I call a midlife Renaissance,
where I started to just figure out
like who I am in this space
without being Celia's dad.
Right?
But there's this part of us
that I think gets lost over 19 years of parenting.
And like, we're looking for ways
to get back to that,
'cause we were awesome.
Like in the beginning,
we're still awesome!
We're awesome parents,
we have a great relationship.
We really do.
But in the beginning,
we were like, you know,
you're like the 'it' couple,
it was really fun.
And I want to get some of that fun back.
I was joking,
stop, drop, and roll with it. (laughs)
Stop, drop, and roll with it,
that's where I wanna go.
All right!
Guys, you two might need to write a book.
But before I get into that,
'cause you have a lot of 'isms'
that are really on point,
and speaking of 'on point'
Damona, thoughts, advice, prompts?
(laughs) Well, I'll try to come up
with some 'isms' myself.
But in the meantime,
I just wanna acknowledge everything that you said
and how you're feeling.
I'm a parent too,
and it sounds great,
but I'm sure when you get there,
the feelings that come up are very different,
and you have an opportunity right now
to go through this 'relation-shift'
and rewrite the rules of romance
for yourselves.
So just doing little things,
like creating boundaries in the home,
like, do you have any rules for the bedroom?
I'm not talking about like those kind of rules.
(everyone laughing)
Do you have rules around like,
phones in the bed, or computers or-
Dogs.
(everyone) Dogs.
Nope! We want all those things out.
We want to focus on the two of you
because really, the bedroom has two functions;
it's for rest and it's for sexy time.
And so we want to reset that space
to be a place where you two can connect,
and you also wanna create
some rituals for yourselves.
So when you get home from work,
not just going right into the next thing
and the kind of routine that you've been in,
but maybe take a walk together,
cook dinner, have a cocktail,
do something that's a regular ritual
that will reset the energy
from the workspace into the romance space.
I also noticed
that you guys liked going out dancing
when you were younger,
you were like at Webster Hall
your favorite was like nineties house music?
Okay. I am feeling you guys. My little guilty pleasure!
(everyone chuckling)
That was me too!
And I'm so mad at society.
Where are all the clubs?
Where are the clubs!
What is wrong with everybody!
(audience clapping)
I need to dance, I mean, come on!
This is ridiculous.
We've got to like,
I see you guys at Webster Hall,
where you used to like go and dance and get sweaty.
I'm like, 'the bedroom?'
try the living room couch.
(Tracey and Tommy laughing)
Throw that rule book out the window.
I also liked the fact
that you both had things
that occupy you philanthropically,
and you know you used to do that.
Like maybe try doing it separately,
so that you have something to come back
and talk about.
One of my biggest things is also like,
meet there.
Don't do the obligatory,
I say this every time, Damona,
it's like, I wanna tattoo it on my body.
Meet there.
Don't do the, we're getting ready,
the drive, you're out of conversation
by the time you got there.
So spending time apart, Yeah.
Doing things like, outside of each other,
especially with your interests and hobbies,
and do them apart
so that you are out there and you're like,
"I have this rad husband I get to get home to
and like talk to all of this about."
Mmhmm, something to look forward to.
Well, Damona has a really interesting tradition
that she does,
that I am madly in love with.
Damona, will you tell
about what you asked of Tommy and Tracey, please?
Well, I love to do nostalgia dates with my clients,
and have them do things that they used to do,
or go through memories that they had together
to reignite some of those feelings again.
When you reexperience the memory
it actually brings back
all of those same emotions that you once felt.
And I know you were hot on the town before,
and things were spicy and sexy.
And so I asked them to bring in a photo
of a time in the past
that each of them really could connect to,
and remember those feelings again.
So, I'd love to take a look
at the pictures that they brought in.
(audience exclaims)
Okay. Whose photo was this?
That was-
That my picture.
What, why are you reacting?
'Cause that was my picture.
(audience laughing)
You guys chose the exact same photo!
(everyone clapping)
(Drew screams)
I already love this exercise
I do, I do, I have chills everywhere.
I love this exercise that you do, Damona, but,
you guys sent in the same image?
That has never happened before! (laughs)
That's really amazing.
And it really just shows the bond
between the two of you.
You share these memories together,
and you built these moments,
and the life that you have together.
So this is just a reminder
that you have all the elements,
you have the foundation,
and just with a little bit of,
a few tweaks,
and with a little bit of focus
on really building that bond again,
you two are gonna be just fine.