I know body shaming is bad and I know sending d**th threats to you and your
hypothetical parrots is a bit extreme, but you kind of deserved it cuz you said
Blackpink do their choreography too perfectly!
hi, welcome to the story of my fifth scandal! now the last time I talked about
the online h*te that I was receiving, it started my sixth scandal so I'm really
not sure how people are going to receive this, disclaimer I will be talking about
toxic blinks in this video so if you're a blink and you're not toxic then it's
not about you! it's okay, it's cool! even to this day people are still bringing it
up, in fact the other day a fellow youtuber publicly said that though my
video wasn't hateful, it was just unnecessary and therefore I deserved all
the online h*te that I got. listen: I'm not exempt from criticism, but there is a
difference between constructive criticism and bullying someone to ****
regardless I know people are gonna say that I deserved it, that I brought it on
myself, okay cool bro we all get it! so just leave your hate comment, give me the
view, and be on your merry way. YouTube is like a parrot, all attention is good
attention, and it helps the algorithm. you guys think I wonder why people hate me,
no, I know why people hate me, I'm annoying! so the truth of the matter is,
my scandal was huge, it was pretty big. it was so big in fact that some youtubers
got involved, some of which were third gen Stans, but we won't get into that
right now.. and then there was some posts about me that were going viral and
consequently a lot of people were coming on to my social media pages and letting
me know exactly what they thought of me and my hypothetical parrots, this is
where that rumor started, that I had parrots because people wanted to hate on
me for something and they couldn't find something intelligent about my video to
hate on, so they resulted to hating me for my body but that wasn't enough so
they had to bring my fake animals into this! and of course there were people who
offered constructive criticism and I took that into consideration and my
content has reflected that, but we're talking about people who are wishing
d**** on innocent animals that I don't have in my home, no one even wished d****
on Kevin, which I was surprised about like I don't want that to happen to him
but like you know, watch my video to the end you'll see a dog and you could have
used that as leverage but they didn't, so it felt like an impossible situation
because there are some people who took my video and cut it and spread it out of
context, the context being that I'm a dumb ***** who
hates blackpink because they are perfect, but of course these people cut
out the clips of me showing 2NE1 doing the same thing or me saying that blackpink
are super talented or me saying that this video is a jab at yg because yg is
holding back blackpink, a lot of people saw those posts and in fact I looked at
one of those posts I think a few months ago and had over 800,000 views so you
can imagine the scandal was big, it was pretty large-scale for me anyways and it
was my first time experiencing anything like that so of course I didn't know how
to react I didn't know what to do and that's why if you look through the
comments you're gonna see a lot of people saying ''this girl's literally
hating on blackpink for doing their choreography perfectly'' but if you
actually watch the video it's not about choreography, so then of course some
youtubers got involved as well and they either supported this false narrative or
changed it into something without doing their research, which just spread more
false information and more people blindly following what one person said
and having that reflect in my comment section, I mean one person made some
claims that could easily be debunked by a seasoned second gen stan, but that's
kind of the pattern among toxic fandoms and I'm sorry to bring blinks into this
but this is what I have most experience with, if we look at my past seven
scandals they are all blackpink related I can make a video of one group and then
make the same video for a blackpink and the first fandom will find it funny and
the second fandom will cancel me! it's just so ambiguous and it's based off of
you know, one person deciding that they didn't like what I said, so they have a
lot of followers and they're going to tell their followers to do something and
then they just do it. so yes little old me managed to piss off one of the
biggest fandom in the worlds, second, of course, to Moluccan cockatoo enthusiasts
and I was this proverbial ''flavor of the month'' I mean I'm not saying I'm not
still the most hated blink in the community, but like it was a lot worse a
few months ago. so in one day, my Instagram went from having one comment
or two comments per post to having 700 plus comments per post and that's
because people kept saying ''oh here is her Instagram if you wanna bash her''
people were encouraging their followers to go teach me a lesson or to not stop
until I got d*pressed, there was even a lot of encouragement for people to
falsely report my video and my channel and so many people were being encouraged
to NOT watch the video, to just dislike it and leave a hate comment, is it not
just a bit disturbing that so many people can be convinced to not check the
source? to not see for themselves what was actually being said? it was surreal I
mean, I'd go online and see random people talking about me or I'd go online and
see a meme about me about how fat I am or how ugly I am, it was- it was different
and I don't want to imply that any of you are irrelevant but at this point in
time, my own fake parrots had more clout than you and that's not really funny
like it's - it's hard to find a balance between like understanding that
c*berb*llying is bad but also trying not to like victimize myself and like I'm
just I'm sorry, so I let the hate go on for a really long time, much longer than
I should have because I thought it was weak to back down, I thought it was weak
to disable comments or to block people and I was so adamant that I wouldn't back
down, that initially I responded to every single comment and I responded to every
single DM but you realized really quickly that the people who are
determined to misunderstand you will continue to misunderstand you and your
response will end up their Twitter banner
the thing is they try to break you down and then when you actually break down
they make you feel insane for doing so, they make you feel like you don't have
the right to feel sad, they make you feel like you deserved everything that came
your way, so when people come out and say ''hey look I'm receiving a lot of hate
right now and I'm not okay'' you just get shut down and then you feel
insane because there's all these people telling you ''well no you deserved it, you
deserved it because you chose to be in the limelight, you deserved it because
you asked for it'' I'm not surprised that people get depressed or have anxiety or
have episodes of psychosis or even **** themselves. so I stayed silent because
the times where I did speak out where the times where the hate got even worse
and I realized that talking about online hate was just not a good look, because I
deserved it, because my video was just so terribly hateful. Was the video perfect?
no, absolutely not. but it was nowhere near what people were making it out to
be, some days you might feel like you can take on the world and then some days you
might feel incapacitated by online h*te but pain is super subjective and the
meaning for your pain is so important because if you don't have meaning for
your pain your pain may not lead to resilience it will just lead to trauma
so that's why there are some people who can put up with so much because it has a
meaning to them but sometimes when you're broken down over and over again
constantly the pain that was once your drive to continue on just becomes a
trauma for you but I want you guys to know and I can't stress this enough it
is not weak to take a step back it is not weak to take a break and it is not
weak to ask for help you guys are worthy of being loved of
loving yourself you're worthy of feeling safe and accepted and I want you guys to
know that um thank you for watching I'm probably gonna really regret uploading
this but I filmed it at least five times and scrapped it and scrapped it and you
know what just it is what it is bye I guess I don't know