Look at this.
And they're still coming in.
"Investigate Trump?"
"Do one on Trump."
"Tell us the truth about Trump."
They must really like it.
I think it might actually be the opposite.
Maybe we should try again tomorrow.
Maybe we'll get better ones?
I just don't get it.
Get what?
He's been president for a year already.
He's not even trending anymore.
So?
It's not like we're ever on time for the trends, I mean.
Do you remember the Miley Cyrus video?
Or even the Beyonce one?
Yeah, but those are celebrities.
We're talking about the president here.
We're not gonna be making another video about Trump.
[Patriotic Music]
Oh, hey guys.
No no no no.
Don't you "hey guys" like you're about to start one of your videos.
I didn't agree to that.
All you said was just look for some comment requests.
That's all.
Oh yeah, I know.
Those weren't real.
What?
Yeah, I wrote them all.
Didn't you see the account names on the comments?
"ThezeArentREAL"
"RyRyWroteThiss"
"CantBelieveYoureStillReadingTheseHEYSEAN"...
Hey!
Paco Sucks 69
Really?
Yeah, okay, now that one was NOT me.
The profile picture is literally you doing that.
Oh.
How did that work out?
We just spent two hours looking through these.
Really?
It only took me an hour to write.
WHY?
Probably cause most of it was copy and paste, so --
NO, WHY DID YOU MAKE US DO THIS?
Well, if you would just have a seat
and let me explain, instead of wasting everyone's time.
Now you're concerned about wasting people's time.
So now that everybody's settled in,
Prepare yourselves.
What I'm about to tell you is something SO SHOCKING,
SO mindblowing,
SO incredibly secretive,
That even me saying it out loud right now
Could get us all -
Then don't say it.
Huh?
Don't say it if it's going to put us in danger!
Danger?
Nah, I was just if i say it out loud right now, it could get us all...
to be closer.
'cause then we could have a really cool secret together, ya know?
then we could get friendship necklaces, like these.
Those are ties.
What does any of that have to do with Trump!?
Get to the point already.
Fine!
[mumbles] No wonder why me and Sean have these and you don't..
[more mumbling] Yeah that's why you don't have one..
What did you say?
Nothing.
Today, I am going to be revealing the truth behind
None other than our PRESIDENT,
Donald J. Trump.
[Ryan starts to sing "Patriotic" music]
[Sean stands up, passionately, hand on his heart]
[whispers] Stand up!
That's the GRADUATION song!
Oh.
So, you're probably wondering:
"What truth is there to learn about our president?"
Because there's so many questions about him
Like for one,
Why would a billionaire want to be president in the first place?
Is it actually to "Make America Great Again™"
Or is it to benefit himself
and his businesses,
or maybe it's just to boost his own ego!
Everyone has their own opinions,
and for some reason,
the majority of those opinions seem to be pretty negative.
[sarcasm] Gee... I wonder why.
Why? Well, in order to find out the truth,
that's the first thing we need to do.
We need to ask ourselves,
"Why does so many people hate the guy?"
Isn't it pretty obvious?
It's the things he says,
The things he does,
he mocked a disabled person, like
who does that??
Exactly!!
No one does that,
especially when you know you're being watched
by the entire world, and
we all know Trump loves to be "loved",
so why would he do that?
'Cause he just doesn't get it
Get what?
People!
Humans!
It's like he almost doesn't realize that the things he says and does
are not things that people normally say and do!
The guy's different,
and not just a little different, he's VERY different.
The way he acts, the way he speaks, even the way he looks,
Are we just here to roast Trump?
Because everyone already does that.
Oh, not at all
Then just tell us,
b- 'cause I don't see what you're trying to get at!
What I'm TRYING to say is that...
I truly believe that our president..
Donald. Trump.
Is.
An Alien.
[Sean gasp!]
[Paco snorts]
[laughing] What?!
Bu- makes everything make sense!
You said it yourself,
he does things that no human would think to do,
like, mocking a disabled person on National Television.
That's because he's an insensitive idiot.
OR, is it because he just doesn't understand humans?
And what humans consider "right" and "wrong" and "normal" and "weird"
just like that one time he had that interview on The View?
"I've said that if Ivanka weren't my daughter,
perhaps I'd be dating her."
"y'know?" [Everyone laughs] "Stop it!"
"Oh, it's so weird!"
Ooh. [damn]
See?
And when everyone laughed, he didn't understand why that was weird,
when it should be obvious to any normal human that
that's NOT something you say about your own daughter.
ESPECIALLY on National Television!
Just because he's weird, doesn't mean he's an alien.
Well, what about his appearance?
There's a reason why people are CONSTANTLY pointing out
things about his looks.
Like, why is his skin orange?
That's not a normal human color!
People with spray tans are the EXACT same color.
Well, what about his hair?
People make fun of his hair all the time
because it doesn't look like normal human hair,
it looks like some kind of wig..
HE'S OLD! OLD PEOPLE WEAR WIGS!
BUT it's not a wig!
and even if it were, out of all the wigs he could have chose,
he picks that one!??
That hair is not a choice a normal human would make.
[excited Sean] OOH!
People make fun of his hands being small!
See? He's not consistent with human proportions either!
OOH! Anddddd he always wear that big, red, FRIENDSHIP NECKLACE!
[Paco furrows his brows in annoyance] Not... too sure if that's one..
Sean...
oh..
BUT THE HAND THING, that was good!
Ah! [Happy Sean]
This is SO stupid..
Stupid!
One of Donald Trump's favorite words!
Along with "Weak"
"Loser"
"Wrong"
"Smart", "Tough"
"Bad"
"Huge"
YES, we are ALL aware of how illiterate he is,
and his minuscule vocabulary
Mini school vocabulary..?
Is that like a school with, like, tiny books?
[LE GASP]
For his tiny hands!
See, I personally think it's messed up that
people like you make fun of his basic English!
It's like making fun of an immigrant for having an accent,
or speaking funny.
You try and learn a new alien language
and see if you can remember complex, difficult, HUGE,
alien words!
You actually think Donald Trump is an alien,
just because he talks, acts,
and looks a little different?
Hah! I wish that's all I knew.
[Ryan inhales] [y'all know this is bout to get good]
Donald Trump was born in 1946,
which is a very important year for Alien conspiracy theories.
Conspiracy theories?
You mean crazy pe-
That's one year before all the activity.
[le gasp]
Roswell!
Exactly! Roswell!
One of the most infamous alien incidents
that's EVER been recorded in history!
But you know what? That's not the only one tha-
Right right! There were two more in Washington that same year,
Mount Rainer and Maury Island!
Wow, yeah, that's right!
How do you know all this, but you dont know the word "minuscule"?
Well, I went to a regular sized one.
[Paco deciding whether to kill himself or Sean]
You see, alien sightings happen all the time but
these three cases were singled out
as some of the most evidential cases of ALL time,
and they ALL happened in 1947,
a year after Donald Trump was "born"!
First, as we all already know,
Roswell, New Mexico, where
a rancher found actual PHYSICAL evidence of a space craft,
Before.. it eventually got covered up.
Then the Mount Rainier, Washington, incident
where a pilot saw actual UFOs while he was flying in the sky,
Only later to find out that people on the ground
actually saw the same thing
And finally, the Maury Island incident.
Where a sailor claimed that they saw things
but later retracted their statement, after
a....mysterious man in a black suit approached him,
and told him not to talk about the incident.
Eventually, this specific incident,
actually INSPIRED the Men In Black movies to be made.
Don't you guys see a pattern here?
Yes, in 1947, people were very gullible.
Nope, that's absolutely wrong!
Sean!
There is a pattern...
All the people who saw these things...
They all saw them in 1947!
The SAME year!
Well- Yea- Well yes-
That's true as well, but
there's- there's another pattern as well!
Think about all the people who made the sightings
In- In Roswell, it was a rancher,
In Mount Rainier it was a pilot,
And the Maury Island incident was a sailor!
It's earth, air, and water!
Like the avatar!
[Gasp]
What?
A rancher who represents Earth
A pilot who represents air
And of course a sailor, which represents water
But what about fire? Isn't that a thing, too?
Well before Trump started running for office, what was his most infamous phrase.
You're fired
Hillary, you're fired
He's a fire bender?
Not just that
Donald Trump is the avatar
You kidding me?
As if this wasn't stupid enough,
now you're trying to convince me that Trump is based off of a cartoon
Not at all! See, the cartoon, was based off of him
and what he represents.
Oh yeah, and what's that?
WORLD PEACE!
Just like the show is based off of:
Earth; Air; Water, Fire
They all represent different nations.
All different parts of the world
Long ago, all these parts lived together in harmony,
And then the avatar disappeared
Conflicts began: Fights and battles became normal;
wars broke out, and began to become more and more dangerous; from WW1 escalating all the way to WW2,
when the first atomic bomb, the deadliest weapon in existence, was used.
And then the war ended, and there hasn't been a World War, or atomic bomb used since.
And what year did all of this end?
1945
One year before Donald J. Trump was "born."
Why does he keep making these bunny ears?
He's trying to imply that Donald Trump wasn't "born" then.
Because he wasn't.
That's just the day that he, Donald Trump, the alien avatar, came back, and restored balance to the world!
And although he has a lot to learn, before he can save anyone,
I believe that Donald, can save the world.
[Paco asking himself why tf he's still here]
This. In your head.
You need to fix that.
You need help.
Both of you.
Yes, we all do. And we have that help in Donald Trump.
We are on the verge of another world war
And that's why Donald Trump finally,
after all these years, decides to run for president,
to bring peace back to the world.
People suspect, and are currently investigating Donald Trump
for having ties to Russia.
I believe he does, and he has since 1947,
a year after his "birth," right when the Cold War began.
Thankfully, it was a war of ideas, and not an actual war,
all thanks to one year old, Donald Trump,
keeping the peace between the two strongest nations in the world at the time,
The Soviet Union, and the U.S.
That's a secret tie with Russia.
[Slight laugh]
What's so funny?
You, your logic. Can you hear yourself?
[sings] Uhhhhhhh. Yeah, I'm not deaf.
You're saying DONALD TRUMP'S
goal in life is to connect the world
and provide world peace?
I mean he does own the Miss Universe Pageant,
And world peace is a pretty reoccurring theme then.
The same Donald Trump that is obsessed with separating countries, by building a gigantic wall.
Oh, you mean Great Walls, like the Great Wall of China
of which you haven't noticed, he's already trying to build ties with.
China
I get it! Regardless, it's still a wall.
And walls separate things.
True, but the Great Wall is not just a wall, it's also a pathway.
And pathways connect things!
THE MORE YOU KNOWWWWW
Oh, my God..
Look I found it hard to believe at first too, that's why it took me so long
to make this video
Then why now?!
Well, obviously, because of the whole news with the Olympics, duh!
Huh??
What?!
The Olympics!
They recently announced that in 2028, the Olympics are coming back to the US!
So??
The Olympics are literally made
to bring peace and unity between all the different nations of the world
It's the EXACT symbol of what Trump wants!
And it's finally coming back to the US in 2028!
AGAIN.
SO WHAT?!
Oh my Gosh. Do I actually have to draw this out for you?
YES!!!!!
Fine! Like I said before the Olympics
are gonna be back in the US in 2028
The last time they were in the U.S. was in 1996,
In Atlanta
If we lay out a continuous map of the world
And place out each of the locations in order, starting from
1996 in Atlanta, to Sydney, Australia in 2000
Up to Greece in 04, China in 08, London in 2012
Down to Brazil for the most recent Olympics
All the way back to Japan for the next Olympics in 2020,
And from there, here's where it gets a little tricky
The 2024 Olympics haven't been announced yet
but we suspect it's gonna be somewhere around Paris, France
And from there we head all the way back to the US for the Olympics, in 2028
And there you have it! If you take a step back,
and look at it as a whole, what do you see?
I DON'T KNOW!!!?
Intersecting lines?! Triangles?!
GASP! THE ILLUMUNATI IS REAL!
That's a different video, Sean...
Oh.
Well what is it then??
What you see here, is EXACTLY what you never see Trump without!
A BIG RED TIE!!!!
[ANOTHER LE GASP!] The Friendship Necklace!!!
Once again proving that
just like the Olympics, just like the Avatar,
Donald Trump, "The Alien", is trying to
TIE the entire WORLD TOGETHER
and bring us WORLD PEACE!!!
BOOM!!!
[Wedding March plays]
[Wedding March plays] [Paco slowly becomes crazy]
Stand up!
It's the f*cking wedding song!!!
TEEHEE
Hey, actually I have one last question
Yeah?
The only thing I don't get is that
if Trump is here for all of these great things,
Why does he hide it from everyone?
THAT'S the only thing you don't get?
Well see, that's the even GREATER truth about Trump that no one can find out
because if they did, they'd realize he's an alien, and they'd freak out
But he's a good alien, he wants to save and protect the world right?
Yeah, but we are still humans
Really stupid, stupid humans
So even if Trump were to tie
and connect every single nation and prevent every possible future world war,
end world hunger, poop gold...
Even if Trump were to actually achieve actual world peace,
It wouldn't matter.
What? Why?
Well, the greater truth is
'cuz he's an alien.
AN UNDOCUMENTED ILLEGAL ALIEN!
HE'S GOT TO GO HOME!!
boi this was so hard to do cuz Ryan talks so fast, kudos to the other people who worked on this. Ramen out.