- I love karaoke.
My go to song is "Believe" by Cher.
- "Believe" by Cher.
♪ Do you believe ♪
- Yes, I know that song.
- I've been dating casually since I got
out of this six year relationship,
and I very intentionally kept a bit of my guard up.
I'll probably only be single for this time
in my life and then get married
and it's all over, so I'm trying
to like really enjoy being,
that made it sound like a death sentence.
- Since the last time I was on the show
there have been some changes.
I would say that I'm a lot pickier.
I wouldn't just go out with anyone.
We would really have to click.
I'm stronger when it comes to my likes and my dislikes.
And that goes into being picky,
but I think it also stands on its own.
Your favorite book of all time is "Fifty Shades of Grey."
- "Fifty Shades of Grey"?
- Okay.
- Come on!
- I had a blast last time and I'm glad to be back.
- Your name is Liz, and this is your story.
You are 25 years old.
For work, you are a healthcare professional.
You grew up in Minnesota.
Your cultural or ethnic background is Caucasian,
and I specified German.
- So my real name is Miranda.
- Okay.
- I'm 27, so thank you.
For work I'm a post production coordinator,
and I grew up in Knoxville, Tennessee,
and you are spot on Caucasian, probably German.
- No.
- But I don't know.
- Your name is John, and this is your story.
You are 28 years old.
For work you are a salesperson of some sort.
You grew up in New York, and your cultural
or ethnic background is Indian.
- My name is Abhay.
I am 28 years old, so on the mark somehow.
I guess I look my age.
- Uh huh.
- For work I'm a film producer,
so yeah, sort of like your line of work.
I grew up in New Delhi, India,
but I'm from Virginia, so east coast.
My cultural ethnic background is Indian.
- Look at that.
- Yeah, that's like half, you got half of them right.
Not bad.
- Abhay, how do you spell that?
- Abhay, A B H A Y.
It's like ab hay.
- But like hay that is in a barn, not hey.
- Either or, they're pronounced the same,
but I mean whatever, oh well, no, not like that.
No, definitely not like that.
- Abhay.
- I would say that I was raised
in a relatively traditional environment,
and by that I mean my parents are relatively conservative
when it comes to just
everything.
We watched quite a few Indian movies growing up.
I feel like that was like their way
of making sure that you know, we didn't forget
speaking Hindi, and we didn't
become like completely white washed.
- Both of my parents were radio disk jockies,
that's how they met, they were divorced when I was two,
so I mainly was raised by my mom,
but now I would say I'm definitely best friends
with my dad, I was like a total tom boy.
The most attractive thing to me is
if a guy can make me laugh.
That's very hard to do, because
my dad is the funniest person I know,
so every man I meet I'm like matching him
up against my dad's sense of humor,
and that's tough, that's really really tough
and unfair to them, but too bad.
- It is not okay to share a toothbrush.
If you had to drop a holiday from the calendar,
you would drop Valentine's Day,
and you hate karaoke, but you have to sing,
your go-to song is "Bye, Bye, Bye."
- "Bye, Bye, Bye," oh my.
It is not okay to share a toothbrush
under no circumstances and with nobody.
I don't know why this is even a question.
That is disgusting.
Just the thought of me sharing the toothbrush
with another person.
- With anybody.
- Anybody.
Mom, brother, lover, doesn't matter.
- Okay.
- If I had to drop a holiday from the calendar,
I put down Easter, but honestly I'd
be fine dropping Valentine's Day too.
It's a manufactured holiday, and it doesn't need
to exist, you don't need a day
to show someone you love that you love them.
- This is exactly what I pictured you saying
when I wrote down mine.
- Oh okay, that's good.
That's good, that's great.
I love karaoke actually.
- You do?
- I do.
- Shocked.
- I, really?
Oh, okay.
- What's your song?
- There is no one go-to, I put down 90's rock hits.
- 90's rock.
- So like Smashmouth, like
Third Eye Blind, you know?
- Yeah.
- Like old school, like just songs
that you can just jam out to.
- Okay.
- It is not okay for you to share a toothbrush.
If you had to drop a holiday from the calendar
I put down Easter for this too.
I said you love karaoke and
your go to song is "Don't Stop Believing."
- Oh.
- Okay, how did I do?
- I think it is okay to share a toothbrush
with your significant other, because hi,
you're exchanging saliva all the time,
what's the difference?
If I had to drop a holiday I would drop Columbus Day,
'cause a lot of people find it offensive
that we're celebrating imperialism.
- Yeah, it's also just like one of those days
that's just sort of there.
- Right?
What do you do on Columbus Day?
- It's even more pointless than Easter, to be honest.
- I love karaoke, my go to song is "Believe" by Cher.
- "Believe" by Cher.
♪ Do you believe ♪
- Yes, I know that song, it's hard.
- Because you get to sing it like Cher.
- Well yeah, and once you hear it,
it's impossible to forget it.
- Uh huh, it's very catchy.
He he.
- My biggest weakness is probably commitment.
If it's not worth it to me, I am very willing to walk away.
And I think in the past I was a lot more willing
to like fix relationships, you know.
Now I'm just like eh, eff it.
- In a relationship my greatest weakness
is how stubborn I am, I really don't like
to budge or compromise.
I know that's like, yeah, that's pretty bad right?
If there's a disagreement, and I really feel
like I was right, I'm not going to apologize.
I'm okay with going to bed angry.
If it means that I win.
- When you get upset with your partner,
you talk to them, when you get angry it comes
out as I think just straight on your face criticism.
When you fight with your partner you do not fight dirty.
The last time you cried was last month.
- Those were great, they weren't all what I wrote,
but some of them were true.
- Hey, not bad.
- When I get upset with my partner,
I always confront them in person.
- Mhmm.
- So you were spot on.
I will never angry text or angry voicemail.
It's like, nope, I want to look in your eyes.
When you get angry it comes out as,
you were saying it's just like--
- On your face, like you just
criticize people to their face.
- I do, but I think it can be scarier
than you're imagining.
- You're a maniac, basically.
- No, like, I like prepare very well formed arguments
and I'm like ready to debate them.
- Oh wow.
Okay, which is good.
I feel like most of my fights I'm just like ah,
I just wanna win.
- When you fight with your partner, I do not fight dirty.
That's true.
By fight dirty, I think, I interpreted that--
- It's more like bringing stuff from the past.
- Bringing the past up.
No, I don't do that, it's always about the thing, yeah.
The last time I cried was two days ago
and the day before that I also cried.
It was an emotional weekend.
- Oh okay, I mean some people cry more than others.
- Yeah.
When you get upset with your partner you
hint at the problem without saying it.
- Mhmm.
- When you get angry it comes out as bewilderment.
- Bewilderment, like as in?
- Like you can't fathom why someone would do that.
- Okay.
- When you fight with your partner you do not fight dirty.
The last time you cried was months ago.
- When I get upset at my partner
I usually need a little space to gather my thoughts
so that I can have a constructive conversation
as opposed to just like a yelling contest.
- Yeah.
- When I get angry, it comes out
I put down silent bitterness,
but I usually need like a little bit of a push
to be like he, what's wrong?
When you fight with your partner I like
to say I don't fight dirty, but there are times
when I do bring stuff from the past into the fight.
- Really?
- Yeah, I think that if something
that you did in the past in relevant
to what's happening now, it needs to be brought up.
- Okay, that's fair.
- Yeah, a lot of people actually girls I've dated
in the past, they specifically called me out on that.
They're like dude, but this happened last year.
And I'm like, but it's very relevant
to what we're talking about right now.
- If it's like a repeating incident.
- In some cases it is.
- Yeah.
- Last time I cried, I put a dash here, honestly
I don't remember the last time I cried.
- Wow.
- And that's, I'm not saying that
to be like cool and like manly,
I'm just, like I really can't remember the last time
I cried because something happened to me.
All right well when I met you, or rather when I saw you,
I would say that I would date you,
because you seem well put together
and you don't seem like a weirdo.
And now having talked to you,
I still would
'cause I think you know, you're a little deeper I think
than you look, so I feel like it would
be worth giving a shot.
All right.
- When I first saw you I thought I would not date you,
because I thought you looked smug.
And I think it was kind of guarded.
It was kind of a guarded, I was like oh,
he's not gonna let me in.
And I was surprised throughout the whole conversation.
You did open up and let me in,
and that was great.
- I hope I did.
- You totally did.
- And you know, a lot of people get that first impression.
- From you?
- Like distant, smug, I've gotten stuck up.
- Oh.
- I've gotten that, just people who don't know me.
- And now having talked to you for however long,
I would not date you, and it's not anything
against you personally, I just don't.
- You just don't think we would get along.
- No, I just think the way we, especially the way
that we handle conflict is so different,
and I've dated guys who are more passive aggressive,
and I don't think I could do it again.
- No?
That's good, it's good to know what you want.
I think it's a mature thing to meet someone
and be like, this probably wouldn't work out
in the long run, for me not to go on a first date,
you would have to just really turn me off.
- Big red flags.
- Yeah, they would have to be big, red flags,
but you're looking at it interestingly, so.
- Yeah, I'm looking ahead.
- Yeah, it was great meeting you.
- It was so nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- Throughout the conversation, I found
that he was not smug, he wasn't coming
from a place of ego, which is what I was afraid of.
No, he was just kind of guarded to protect himself.
But he's a really good guy.
- The sharing toothbrushes thing, that was
definitely a big shocker, 'cause I didn't
think anyone did that.
Do people do that in real life?
Is there, why?
There's no need.
- It was refreshing to honestly tell someone
why you would not go out with them,
'cause usually, if I get asked out
and I don't want to go out with someone, I make an excuse,
but today I got to just tell him actually why
and be honest.
- Didn't she say she was in to hygiene?
See, that' doesn't, there's no,
psh.
♪ Soulpancake ♪