What to do when your wife cheats on you. My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The
Marriage Foundation and this is delicate, it's more delicate in fact than
virtually any other issue that comes up because it's tricky. The first thing
you need to ask me or to tell me is whether it was she was drunk at a party
and she kissed a guy or whether she's in a full-fledged affair. I'm going to
really simplify this for you. If your wife is currently in an affair and it's
been going on for a long time and she's in love which is usually what happens
what it almost always means because women are very different from men is
that she already left her current marriage and she's preparing for a new
marriage. Now, sometimes situations mitigate the inevitability of her
leaving the current marriage could be that she's in an affair with her boss
who's married, a friend who's married and so that makes things more difficult for
her and it helps the chances for you of having your marriage back. Another big
problem that we have in this is how you're going to see your wife. One of the
reasons that men get married is for that unconditional love which includes
loyalty and most men can't handle a wife who has cheated on
them and the only time they will stick it out is for the sake of the children.
Most men because that disloyalty that breaking of the bond is such a strong
break for a man very difficult for him to get past it so these are things to
consider. Now, if it was a fling, a drunken fling -- it's more understandable, let's put
it that way. It's very difficult to give an across-the-board answer for this
however, no matter what whether your marriage is salvageable or not and 80%
not. But if you think you fit in that 20% the only way you're going to salvage your
marriage is by recreating it and I mean you recreating you. For a woman to cheat
on her husband means that the breakdown in the marriage was so substantial then
she really can't see herself with the current husband. And so, you have to
change yourself. Now you may go, "Well, she said she loved me blah blah blah.
Before we got married everything was fine," but none of us in our world get
married with an idea that our marriage requires maintenance. We should have a
goal and I'm not trying to be
too high up there for you or anything like that. Think about it, if you get a
car. Your car needs maintenance. You have to change the oil, check the
tire-pressure, keep it clean but we don't get married thinking we need to do
anything in our marriage so we come in with a lot of expectations and a
resolution that this marriage is going to last forever but we don't do anything to
make it last forever so they fall apart. And men, in particular, make almost across
the board men make the big mistake of expressing anger to their wife arguing
with them and demonstrating their power to them when they were brought into the
marriage by the wife as a protector so there is a big problem right
out of the gates for most marriages. We have a free service where you could
write into our counselors. I urge you to take advantage of that -- it's free. You
have nothing to lose, write in. They'll tell you after you answer some of the
questions that I've put out now whether they think your marriage is going to
survive or not and it's based on 20 years of experience. This is not random opinion
stuff because we have a very high success rate for those who can save
their marriage. We have a course for men that is really really awesome but if it
doesn't work we'll tell you. We won't tell you don't take it -- it's guaranteed
so you have nothing to lose by taking it you'll gain a lot from it but you'll
want to know whether you have a chance to save your marriage and we want you to
that's why we're here. We're going to do everything we can
to lead you in the right direction and we insist on total integrity within our
organization so you're not going to be handed a bunch of stuff.
I am sorry, I offer you my sympathy if your wife is cheating on you -- it's tough
really hard even if you cheated on her first, even if you're cheating on her now
it's really hard. So we sympathize and in the meantime
hopefully, we can help you. If you'd like to explore more about marriage subscribe
to the channel. Look at our other videos, there's a lot
of articles we've produced and other than that we offer you our prayers.
Blessings to you and your wife and your family. God bless!