10 Most Useless Superheroes Ever
Ever thought how you would fare in your very own epic battle of human versus hero.
Super strength, speed, and eye lasers are pretty standard fare in the superhero world.
We've come to expect a certain level of dignity from our favorite characters, after all.
Sometimes the comic writers disagree with that expectation and feel the need to inject
their own personal flair into the comic.
As you can expect, this doesn't always end well.
Maybe writers wanted to make some superheroes more identifiable to an audience, and create
characters who were so ultimately vulnerable, so possibly beatable?
Here are 10 more or less useless superheroes the we think could be beaten by a human
Hawkeye I can already hear the outcry now: "But he
had an entire movie about him!"
If you'll remember, the movie was called "The Avengers."
Hawkeye just happened to steal the show, but it's a good thing he did, considering he spent
half the first movie mind controlled by Loki.
Hawkeye is a great concept, and Jeremy Renner does a fantastic job of portraying him, but
let's face it: he's Robin Hood with advanced tech and black leather.
And we all thought he would die by the end of the Age of Ultron.
Jubilee Before you throw your drink at the screen,
take a moment and think about it.
Jubilee has 'pyrotechnic' powers, but in reality, she shoots fireworks from her hands.
No more, no less.
That's it.
Fireworks.
Fourth of July show not quite working out?
Better call Jubilee!
In recent issues, she's become significantly more powerful after gaining vampire powers
-- yes, you heard that right -- but as far as superpowers go, she can't really compete
with a character like Thor.
Banshee The banshee of Irish mythology were the harbingers
of doom, heralded by the high-pitched screech that came from their mouths...and that's exactly
the power of the Banshee character.
His power is screaming.
Sure, it can hurt his enemy's ears and maybe shatter a glass or two, but he's pretty useless
for stealth missions.
Or anything that requires more than mildly annoying someone who has never been to a rock
concert.
Cypher Cypher is a mutant with the ability to understand
any language.
This means all spoken and written languages, and even computer code -- which makes him
a fantastic hacker.
His ability to speak binary -- yes, the 1s and 0s of computer code -- is a nifty party
trick, but as a superpower?
Maybe not.
Realistically, though, his ability to interpret body language would make him the world's best
translator.
Or dating coach.
Gin Genie Finally, a character we can all get behind.
Gin Genie can produce seismic waves.
Sounds great, right?
Well, like all of the heroes on this list, there is a slight catch: the waves are equal
to her blood alcohol level.
That's right: this hero needs to get sloshed before she can make anything else slosh.
It seems almost counter-intuitive; with a high enough BAC to cause an earthquake, the
last thing we'd want is to be on something that's violently shaking.
Arm Fall Off Boy Detachable limbs, you say?
Sure, Arm Fall Off Boy isn't likely to get caught in manacles anytime soon, but what
are his other powers?
There aren't any.
None.
His single point of pride is the ability to detach his arms and use them as clubs.
Defeating him would be simple...just pull off the other arm.
His (limited) number of fans aren't even sure how he obtained his powers.
Arm Fall Off Boy first appeared in Secret Origins Vol. 2 #46, and has appeared multiple
times since.
Before you hold out for hope, he doesn't get any more useful.
Hindsight Lad Perhaps the worst superhero of all, Hindsight
Lad's unique ability is to see how events could turn out...after they've happened.
Can you imagine a better way to add insult to injury?
"Iron Man, we could have won."
"Shut up, Hindsight Lad, or in a few minutes you'll see how this situation could have been
different."
He doesn't even have what could properly called a power; his ability to analyze situations
stems from intelligence.
Hindsight Lad's power is being somewhat smart, but not on the level of Tony Stark.
Black Condor Imagine Tarzan, but instead of the jungle,
he's in the steppes of Mongolia.
And instead of being raised by monkeys, he's raised by condors...who teach him to fly.
Yeah, that was our reaction, too.
Black Condor's origin story is a bit silly, as are his powers.
He can fly without any special abilities, which implies that anyone in the DC universe
could, provided they spent their childhood cawing at condors and eating worms.
Without the proper body structure, all we can do is hope he mastered landing, too.
Green Arrow Apparently Oliver Stone and Gilligan had very
different experiences when stranded on an island.
One came off after a few years of bumbling adventures, and the other returned with a
burning hatred of everything and the skill with a bow to prove it.
He has no real superpower, just a whole lot of natural talent with a bow.
Thankfully for him, comic writers like to take great leaps of logic to make that useful...somehow.
If that's not bad enough, he flew an aircraft called the "Arrow-plane."
Yes, groan with me.
Deadshot Deadshot is another character that lacks super
powers.
In this case, he's not even really a hero, though his role in Suicide Squad may say otherwise.
He's good with a gun.
Like, really good.
Aside from that?
Eh.
He isn't really anything special.
There are characters who can at least come close to matching him in ability, so when
you take away his gun, what do you have?
Maybe he'd make a good pitcher in baseball.
Have you heard of characters with a worse selection of powers than these?
If so, comment in the video below!
Let us know about them so we can all discuss them (and honestly, laugh.)
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