- This tree right here that you can see,
this tree does not give a shit what you think about it.
It's grounded and it's just chilling,
and even if it were a tree that bared fruit,
it would not be concerned about what you did with the fruit,
whether you enjoyed the fruit,
the tree would not be concerned whether the fruit
that came off of it, you got the fruit
and you threw it at someone else. (laughing)
The tree just doesn't care.
Now, the thing to remember about this
is the tree's just being a fricking tree.
That's it.
The trees just being itself.
Now, a lot of times what happens
is we get so much in our head, and what we do
is we start getting concerned about what other people think
about the fruit that we are bearing.
We start really caring about what people do
with what we provide in the world,
and every single one of us has and is, in a way,
has the potential just to be a tree,
but what happens is, as we start becoming identified
with the fruits that come from the tree, now, of course,
there's no fruit on this tree, (laughing)
but the idea behind this is being aware of our own energy
and having the energy of not putting too much importance
on any one thing or caring or giving emphasis
to what people do with the fruit,
what people think about the fruit,
and it's just a powerful analogy
for also understanding your purpose, your purpose,
and having roots, and really being grounded in who you are.
So this last year, for me,
it has been an extraordinarily powerful time for me
becoming more grounded within myself.
Prior, I used to really care
what other people thought about me.
Subconsciously, I think I was making a lot of videos
on YouTube because I wanted to give value to other people,
because I thought the more value I can give to other people,
the more that they would then accept me
or give me validation, and because of that,
what happened is I became, in a way,
addicted to making videos, I was making videos
every single day on YouTube for years, and what happened is
I then started to associate my identity
with making the videos and giving the value,
so that I could get something in exchange.
I was focused on the fruit
and giving as much fruit as possible,
so that then I could feel worthy.
The tree, though, doesn't have to give the fruit
to feel worthy.
The tree's just being a tree.
The thing that I want to steer your attention on
is how grounded are you in being yourself,
and is there a shadow aspect of yourself
that you find yourself gearing yourself towards?
I know for me, one thing that I've been doing
is really focus on being grounded and being in my own body.
This has changed my life more than anything else,
and I know it sounds so simple, but lately,
I've also been talking about being in your own frame,
your own frame of reality.
Based on you being in your own frame,
people are responding to you.
This is the thing that happens.
People respond to how you feel about you,
and when you are in your own frame
and you are unapologetically being yourself,
people are gravitated to that,
even if they don't necessarily agree with it.
But what happened to me in my past with my childhood
is I went through different experiences
where I didn't feel worthy, and I thought that I had to be,
and honestly, I felt safe in someone else's frame.
This is going to sound crazy...
Not crazy, but I remember that when my dad divorced
my ex-stepmom, my ex-stepmom was a narcissist, abusive,
my brother and I had zero freedom at all,
15 years old comes around, we have all this...
It's a whole new world.
We have freedom.
We're able to have friends,
but here was something that happened.
I remember there was a sense of safety that I got from being
in someone else's frame,
from being in my ex-stepmom's frame,
there's a sense of certainty that came with that,
and I remember, all of a sudden, I'm allowed to watch TV,
I'm allowed to have friends,
I'm allowed to do school activities
without getting it taken away, I'm allowed to eat the food
that I want, all this freedom.
There was an anxiety that came from that.
That anxiety was a sense of safety
that I got from being controlled, so in a way,
what happened is I kept attracting patterns to myself
where that energy dynamic would play over, over and over
and over again, because I wasn't aware of that safety
that I felt with that.
Now the thing that I think is so powerful to realize
is once you become aware of that shadow,
once you become aware of that inner child wound
that you might have, you can then start to feel safe
within your own body,
you can start to feel safe within yourself,
and you stop caring then what other people think.
I was becoming a part of other people's frame,
even moving to Sedona.
When I first moved here, I moved here with a friend
because we got a house and I lived there for eight months
and he's one of my best friends, but the idea was
I felt safe in someone else's frame
and this person had a very strong frame.
But now what I've learned
is I've learned how to be in my own frame, how to be myself,
and honestly, how not to be afraid
of what other people think by being more polarizing
and not to also be in care.
I'm doing this new style of videos.
If you guys haven't subscribed to the channel yet,
subscribe below.
I've got a whole new style of videos coming,
where I'm going out in nature
and tap into these different ideas,
using metaphors and ancient teachings, so subscribe,
if you haven't already and like this video
if you like this new style of videos,
but the idea behind this is me being in my own frame
has completely changed my life, but the thing about this
that I really want you to be aware of
it's like going inside of your own body
and just being a tree, being yourself, being grounded
and not wavering at what other people think about you,
what other people think of you.
So I've been doing this work for probably the last six
to eight months now, this shadow work of becoming aware
of my own inner child wound of feeling safe
in other people's frame, other ex-girlfriend's frame,
I realized, that I would have a strong frame
in the beginning of a relationship,
but then I would lose it, because a part of me,
I didn't realize this, this is a deeper part,
but I had an abandoned mother wound, where when I was three
or four years old, my mom went through a lot of trauma
and my mom went through...
Her dad passed away, so it's totally understandable,
and what happened is, when her dad passed away,
she was emotionally dealing with that,
and I felt emotionally abandoned, and in that the way,
I then thought that if I could be a different way,
maybe I'd get more love,
if I could tune myself in a different way,
then I would receive that love or that attention,
and what that caused me to do
is when I'd get in relationships,
I would then try to change myself or modify
or control situations, so that I could still receive
that same love, affection or whatever it is.
So I know that sounds interesting,
but becoming aware of that pattern, I could then see
that I can actually take my energy back
and give myself the self-love.
Actually, there's an inner child meditation I have,
that's one of the most powerful meditations I've ever made,
where we energetically go to Kauai, Hawaii,
to meet our inner childs and heal our inner childs
and dialogue with it, using Carl Jung psychology.
You can check that out below,
or go to aarondoughty.com/child.
That's the meditation.
It's completely free, but in general, the inner child work
will help you to feel more safe in your own frame,
but the other thing that I want to share with this
is a lot of times, as empathic people,
if you're watching this video,
then most likely you have an empathic nature,
what happens, and I have this theory about this,
but what happens is we have our bottom three chakras,
many of us that are spiritually connected
and focused on this, we're all spiritually connected,
but we've become very preoccupied in the top three chakras,
which help us to tune to other people,
but we're not grounded in ourselves,
and one of the most important parts of having a strong frame
is having a frame,
and that's where I want to talk about a vision.
When I started creating YouTube videos on YouTube
back in 2017, I created a vision,
and that vision was making daily videos.
I was focused on being the version of me
that was making daily videos,
and that became my dominant vibration pretty quickly,
within six months.
I was living in a completely different reality,
from that one thing of doing it every day.
I had a vision to move towards it.
Now, here's the thing.
Another part of that vision was that I then had other things
to say no to.
So I was working 40 hours a week at a job until I quit
six months later,
but I was also making videos 30 hours a week,
I was very busy, and from that, there are friends
that wanted to hang out, and there were things
that I was tempted to do,
and if I would've said yes to those,
I'd be saying no to my vision.
There's a book called Personality Isn't Permanent,
and it talks about how our identity are shaped by our goals,
and one of the things that I want you to become aware of
are what are your goals?
What are you moving in the direction of?
How strong is your frame?
And part of your frame is having strong boundaries.
When you have strong boundaries,
you're saying no to more things, but you're also saying yes
to your vision and what you want,
and then not caring what other people think.
These are the three different energy dynamics
that have changed my life, and especially more than ever,
because I'm able to really be myself
and I'm not preoccupied with what other people think.
In the same way, I was talking to my buddy, Victor,
the other day, who's a great friend of mine,
one of my best friends, is my best friend, but basically,
he was talking about how he had this fear, that,
when he was young, he liked rock shows.
He'd liked going and seeing rock concerts,
and when he was a kid, he had this idea of being a rockstar,
and then he started making YouTube videos
and he was afraid that now, if his ego were to take over
him making YouTube videos, he's afraid that he'd get lost,
or something really bad would happen,
he'd have to sacrifice his connection to his family
if he becomes more and more well-known,
so he would pull back from making YouTube videos,
and he's like, "Maybe I should make videos,
"maybe I shouldn't make videos.
"What if somebody watches my videos
"and they have a deep spiritual process
"and they blame me for it?"
'Cause we're sharing spiritual awakening information,
and the thing that I told him was just exactly this.
Be a tree.
Don't think you should be something other than a tree,
because what if humans do something with the fruit
and they throw it at each other,
or they blame you for the fruit that they ate?
If you're grounded, you realize it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter what other people think about your fruit.
Your job is to be a tree.
Your job is to do your purpose,
to find out what your purpose is and to embody that,
and what people do with it isn't your concern.
His version of it is whether people respond positively
or negative, or what if people perceive of me like this,
or what if I get...
I'm like, "Dude, just trust yourself to be a tree.
"Maybe that means making videos, maybe that means doing it
"when it feels aligned, but don't be concerned
"what people do with it."
In the same way, I've had to take my own advice,
because sometimes I care what people think,
and when I care what people think, guess what?
My content starts to be very different,
I'm making videos for views, it's a very different vibe,
and I think you could tell that this energy of this video
has a very different vibe,
because I'm just being my own fricking tree.
What you do with it is up to you.
You might take this video.
You might throw it somewhere.
You might share it, which would be really cool,
it's like sharing the fruits,
but you also are a tree in of yourself,
and the thing I encourage you to do is to really be yourself
and to be bold.
It doesn't matter what other people think about you.
It's not your concern.
Your job is to be a tree, be yourself,
develop a magnetic frame by having a frame,
having a vision that you're moving towards,
having something that then you say yes to,
and then it means you're going to say no to more things,
but don't feel guilty about it.
I don't feel guilty.
It's funny, there's a whole new world I'm experiencing
as of lately, because I don't feel guilty
for me doing what I want.
Sometimes, I'd feel guilty if friends wanting to hang out
and I wanted to say no, what they think of me,
will they like me or will they think I'm rejecting them?
I don't want to be rejected.
So you want to know what I do now?
Is I just, if I want to do it, I do it.
I go hang out, and if I don't, if I have something else
I'd rather be doing, I don't.
I do all the same things I do before, but I tap into myself
and I ask, what do I want?
And because of that, there's a new level of respect
that people have for me, there's a new level of boundaries
that I have that feels amazing.
There's a new level of groundedness that I have,
that really comes through, and I just feel so good
to be a tree.
So my message for you today is to be a tree,
and to realize that the more you are just being a tree,
the more you are being yourself,
and the more you're being yourself,
the more you're giving your gifts, your fruits,
into the world, so be unapologetic.
The tree doesn't give a shit what you think about it,
neither should you.
So I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
Like, subscribe below, if you haven't already.
I'll talk you you guys in the next episode.
Peace, much love, namaste.
(upbeat music)