[Music]
hello sweet potatoes welcome back today
we're gonna be talking about the
language of love the first what are love
languages love languages are ways to
express and receive love from Gary
Chapman's book the five love languages
it's a really great book super quick and
easy read I highly recommend checking
that out the five love languages are
words of affirmation quality time gift
giving access service and physical touch
you give love a certain way and you
receive love a certain way it could be
the same and it could be different just
like the spoken language depending on
your upbringing depending on many
factors we're more inclined to speak one
of the love languages over the others so
why is this important understanding love
language can help us be better and more
effective communicators and also
strengthen our bond with ourselves and
with others you have the capacity to
meet your own deep emotional needs if
you loved when your emotional love tank
is full and you feel secure in your own
love the whole world looks bright and
you will move to reach your highest
potential in life when your love tank is
empty and you feel used and not loved
the whole world looks start and you will
likely never reach your potential for
good in the world
being more effective communicators
strengthening bonds with people on with
yourself filling up your love tank I
think those are three really really
awesome things and how do you do it the
number of waste expressed love with in a
love language is limited only by one's
imagination so this whole language of
love was primarily developed by dr.
Chapman for couples from over three
decades worth of marriage counseling and
I had a thought why not apply this to
ourselves in our own lives in my
previous video where I talked about
quality time spending that full
undivided uninterrupted attention on
yourself and I also watched Jennings
video and inspire me to share my
personal take on loving yourself and
others based off of love languages when
I first came across this concept and
book maybe eight nine years ago I was
convinced that I was only quality time
and that was
only thing that matter to me and that's
like the only sections I rather than
like the only articles I would read but
after reading the book in all of its
entirety last night as I was scripting
out this video I realized all five love
languages actually spark joy to me
they're just some that spark a lot more
joy than others so in today's video
we'll go from baby sparklers to glorious
glorious fourth of July fireworks
[Music]
you must be thinking of someone to give
them a gift the gift itself is a symbol
of that thought it doesn't matter
whether it costs money what is important
is that you thought of that person and
that person could be yourself if you've
been around this channel for a few years
now you remember how bear and stare all
my previous apartment was as I was in
the depths of rediscovering myself and
figuring out who I was I stripped away
almost all things and only slowly
started adding back in what I thought
was essential as it pertains to my space
colors artwork little memorabilia
reminding me of special moments and
memories I've also been very into plants
as well as gifting plants so after
gifting plants to friends I decided to
give myself a couple just because you
like plants are like flowers but maybe a
little better because they last a lot
longer gifts even this this is sent to
me by my friend it's like something so
simple but something's so sweet when you
get something like this even if
gift-giving is in your primary language
so it's still very nice to feel that
someone's thinking of you the whole
meaningful practical functional useful
to me that's like the best some ideas
include a parade of gifts gifts from
nature handmade heartfelt one-of-a-kind
gifts personalized coupon booklets
filled with inside jokes gift a book to
someone and read it together gift a
course or a class invest in yourself
send your BFF or significant other a box
ooh filled with authentic Japanese
snacks so he can share together while
you Netflix party together even if
you're living thousands of miles away
from each other
hashtag quarantine romance tis a true
story though the boy knows gift-giving
isn't the thing that sparks the most joy
he's able to tie it to my primary love
language that we'll get into later in
the video
there's also the gift of self and the
gift of presence sometimes this is the
most powerful gift you can give someone
remember there are many creative ways to
give gifts to yourself and to those
around you without spending a
go die it's more about feeling seen and
safe and doesn't necessarily have to
lead to intimacy I appreciate a good
cuddle sesh whether it's my mum or dad
or friends or significant other holding
hands hugs paddle backs arm squeezes and
all that jazz but it's primarily with
people I'm very close with which is why
I think this is lower on my spark joy
list of all the possible physical touch
activities the one I have been most
consistent with is my morning and
evening skincare routine so here it is
really quickly what a transition into
the bathroom
so for a part of the physical touch I'd
like to do a little facial massage as a
little extra bonus on top of skin care
because I feel like skin care is
something that you just do or should
probably do daily but if you want to
make it a bit more luxurious you can
give yourself a little bit of a facial
massage
I remember watching this video from
Alisha unit from future Malaysia where
she talks about a lymphatic drainage I
just try looking for I couldn't find it
but I'll try to link something down
below my jaws are super tight
a few ideas for physical touch massage
and spa days cuddling with or wearing
soft things taking a bath or a long
shower at getting moving and grooving be
it yoga dancing working out physical
touch it cooked the verbal compliments
like you look beautiful I love your
brain encouraging words more
specifically encouraging developing an
interest someone already has the essence
of this is I know I care I'm with you
how can I help kind words rooted in
forgiveness understanding and acceptance
in short thank you I love you I'm so
proud of you and I appreciate you and
yes this was for you all right since I'm
not the best at words of affirmation
giving and receiving yeah I just always
been more of the actions speak louder
than words type of person when I do
receive words of affirmation I'm just
like okay thanks like how are you
supposed to respond to that so I
outsource this this one to my boyfriend
for him to write me words of affirmation
for me to read so haven't read this yet
so my first time reading it it's to
train me to be better at accepting words
of affirmation in a very public setting
okay dear sweetest potato because they
look back on the past few months I'm
amazed just how much you've been
influenced me you're one of the
hardest-working people I've ever met
having seen how hard how you work how
hard you work behind the scenes I can
see how much love and care you put into
your work so work the long hours you do
there inevitably have to be trade-off
sleep friends relaxation etc I know how
hard these trade-offs can be and it just
speaks volumes about your priorities and
your purpose thank you for inspiring me
to work hard for what I want you always
manage to be President and
world full of distractions and
temptations you always somehow make me
feel like the only person in the world
you're so good at anticipating my needs
like when you send a text right before a
big meeting thank you for always giving
your all no matter what you're doing
you're one of the most purposeful people
I know when you challenged me to dig
deeper into my purpose it often feels a
little uncomfortable at first but I
realize that these are the most
important questions for us to explore
and discuss thank you for setting a
great example with your spirituality and
encouraging me to understand my deeper
sense of purpose and scanning your
comments on YouTube I think it's safe to
say that I'm not alone in feeling this
way you've made such a huge impact on my
life and on the lives and hearts of so
many others thank you for being the
Whooper to my Picchu the Joan ko to my
legal the joyous autumn our parks a toy
and my best mate I love you always now
you know why Hooper thank you
that's how you receive words of
affirmation with more words of
affirmation thank you I appreciate you I
love you some ideas you can write
yourself a love letter a letter to your
younger self or a letter to your best
friend or significant other he stick
post-it know affirmations around your
space take personality test or read
horoscopes to feel seen I'm half joking
about this one keep a gratitude journal
including writing three things you're
happy and or proud of of yourself for
accomplishing every day no matter how
big or small give yourself a pep talk in
the mirror this may sound silly but it
is so powerful there's also journaling
you seek to please by serving and to
express your love by doing my mother
bear dearest is huge on acts of service
and has to train me a relatively well
since I was little she's always taught
me to treat others like how I'd like to
be treated and I guess it can also carry
over to serving and helping others like
how you'd like to be helped as with all
love languages within acts of service
there are many dialogues so it's
important to hone in on what type of
acts of service you like to give and
what types you like to receive I'm sure
you guys can all guess by now that
tidying and cleaning for me
sparks immense joy I decide to clean out
my throw all the miscellaneous things
that don't have a home into this closet
closet and it felt glorious swapping out
boots for sandals being able to see the
floor cleaning out items that need to be
returned and returning it now that the
stores are slowly opening up in New York
City and knowing that I check something
off my to-do list felt amazed
a few more ideas cooking or baking
something you've been meaning to having
a cleaning day I love Saturdays for this
random acts of kindness of strangers
organize an area of your space plan for
a week I love Sundays for this when you
give someone or something you're focused
and undivided attention you're giving
that person or thing precious time and
one of the greatest gifts you can give
your presence we all have a finite
amount of time to live so with all that
we do even watching kdramas why not keep
it our full presence and focus within
quality time there is togetherness which
is more about focused attention and less
about proximity and just by being
physically next to someone doesn't
necessarily mean you're spending quality
time if someone's distracted
there's also quality conversations
quoting dr. Chapman's sympathetic
dialogue where two individuals are
sharing their experiences thoughts
feelings and desires in a friendly
uninterrupted context there's also
quality activities which quoting dr.
Chaman again emphasis is not on what
you're doing but why you're doing it
purpose is to experience something
together to walk away from it feeling
the person cares about me he was willing
to do something with me that I enjoy and
did it with a positive attitude spend
focus time with yourself I'm all about
that reading journaling meditating and
she long life which you guys all know
about and it's all great activities you
can do alone another way I spend my
focus time is to give whatever I'm doing
my full attention being it all work or
be it or relaxing I'm starting to drool
a lot so cute you all know how much I
love my King dramas when I'm watching a
drama I'm watching the drama my phone is
away I'm not distracted by anything kim
so-hyun has my full attention I've been
loving mystic pop-up bar and it's okay
to not be okay what are some of your
favorite dramas at the moment please
share with me down below always looking
for new shows to watch as I mentioned
previously the boys started sending me
blocks ooh a few months ago for us to
experience snacks together while
thousands of miles apart as he watches
dramas with me though he's enjoying
dramas with me I know he's largely doing
it for
me because he knows it's something that
I love so I greatly appreciate this
because this is quality activating for
me
I'm also huge on snacking love Japan
Missa dearly so when box who actually
reached out to work together I was
thrilled since I've already had such a
positive and meaningful experience with
a brand in the box box ooh pairs of
traditional and artisanal producers to
take regional snacks across the globe
I love how thoughtfully curated and
different each box is I've had four
already and they're all so unique it's
like embarking on a new gourmet
experience through Japan every single
month if you're interested in trying box
ooh your first box will be the seasons
of Japan box which aims to show a bit of
everything across all four seasons after
the first box you'll start getting a new
theme with fresh snacks every month I
love that they're committed to
highlighting Japanese identity and each
snacks each box comes with a leaflet
with information on all the snacks
including where they came from which is
super cool if you've been missing Japan
as much as I have and want to send a
little something something to your
special someone could be yourself you
can get 10% off your own authentic
Japanese snack box from box ooh and save
up to 44 dollars using my code and link
in the description box below thank you
all so much for watching this video I
love you you have my undivided attention
I give this video to you I made this
video with love and I've voice hug you
for some virtual virtual virtual
physical touch hehe okay