today I'm going to tell you the three most common things that men will do to try to
trick you or manipulate you and gain control over your relationship and I'm
going to tell you exactly how to handle each one so that you don't give your
power away and instead you have him whining you more than ever
don't go anywhere because we're starting right now
hired one I'm dr. Antonio burello and I'm a psychologist in a relationship
coach this channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can
grow happy with the people you love so if you're interested in making your love
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hit the bow notification so you aren't missing anything onto how men trick
women ok what kind of tricks or manipulations am I talking about I'm
talking about calculated behaviors that are used to manipulate to intimidate or
fool you and cause you to question your own perceptions in intimate
relationships these manipulations are also used by insecure or controlling
partners who wish to change the direction and experience of a
relationship for example a person who doesn't feel they're getting enough
attention from their partner might engage in some manipulative behavior in
hopes of creating doubt or fear or jealousy in the relationship and get the
attention back on themselves so in this case they're hoping to get something out
of it including gaining self-esteem or confidence in the relationship and
besides getting the attention back on themselves they gain some control and
power in the relationship because it derails you and puts you in a reactive
mode instead of focusing on the positive aspects of a relationship and
co-piloting the direction of your relationship you are in a mode where
you're wondering and questioning and reacting to whatever chaos or
manipulation they've tried to engage you in you lose your power you become a
passenger and he's the pilot but when you know what's happening and what to do
about it you'll maintain your value and have him
wanting you more than ever before so without further ado here are three
common manipulations number 1 now I'm so busy manipulation this love trick
happens when you meet a man who looks like he's a great catch he's single he's
successful he's attractive and charming and when you begin communicating he
appears to be genuinely interested in knowing who you are
he seems authentic open and honest but he's also very type A personality he's
career oriented and successful and his schedule is rather packed with important
things like work and colleagues and travel and friends he's so busy that you
might even feel like you're compete for his time nevertheless it feels
flattering because he's such a great catch and he's interested in making time
to get to know you and the first few weeks of dating go very well and you
feel like he's genuinely interested in you and you're really into him and this
is when the manipulation starts just when he knows that you're into him and
you really like him he becomes a master of excuses now what does that mean well
when he makes plans with you he often cancels them last minute with excuses he
had to work late or he forgot about a thing he had already scheduled he
insists that he wants to see you but he couldn't get out of work or family or
other obligations and then he doesn't seem to be making plans or commitments
with you like he did before instead he calls you at night and last
minute and asked to come over to see you and because you know he's truly busy you
agree because you want to see him as well but if you continue to allow this
to happen it will eventually become the norm and
he will no longer be making you or the relationship a priority then the
relationship moves in the direction and speed that he wants because you've given
up your power so how do you handle this one well again here you've got to set
some boundaries and not be available for him at the drop of a head become more
scarce and only see him if he's making an effort to further develop the
relationship by investing his time and effort into you you can't allow him to
call you later tonight just for sex he should be making an effort to spend
relationship time with you the next time he tries to call that same night you've
got to be strong enough to decline his offer and say no because he should be
making an effort to take you on a proper date so when he calls last minute and
asks you've got to be willing to politely decline and offer him an
alternative that requires him to make an investment into the relationship it goes
something like this hey what are you up to I miss you can I come over
you need to redirect him and say oh that's sweet I miss you too maybe we can
go on a date this weekend or say I miss you too let's plan an afternoon where we
do a B or C and when you do that you are setting your standard
and it's up to him to meet them if he's really into you he will step up and meet
your standards oh and I'm sure he will attempt to call you last minute more
than one time so be ready to make him put up or shut up
stick to your standards if he disappears he's probably doing you a favor
that reminds me are you struggling with a dating or relationship problem that
you need some help with would you like to get my perspective or opinion on your
situation I coach people all over the world both over the phone through email
or through video conferencing so if you're a subscriber and you're dealing
with a dating or relationship problem send me an email at antonio burello at
icloud.com and perhaps we can work together one on one I'll also include my
email address in the notes below number two the I've been hurt before
manipulation this manipulation is one that men used to influence you into
feeling sorry for them because someone broke their heart and now they can't
trust again they use this manipulation as an excuse
for it not wanting a commitment while keeping you on the sidelines feeling
sorry for him there are so many people both men and women who fall into this
manipulation and then they voluntarily overcompensate by doing everything in
their power to prove their loyalty and their love to their new partner and
they're doing this and hoping to soon gain his trust and commitment and again
when you are overcompensating for someone's manipulation or trick you are
again in reactive mode not the person in control so think about this as an
example let's say that about a year ago you had your heart broken by your
ex-boyfriend who no longer wanted a relationship it was devastating and you
were hurt fast-forward to today you've met an
amazing man you get along so well he seems to be everything that you've ever
wanted he's an amazing catch and he's showing you all of the signs that he
really likes you he's investing into the relationship and he really wants you now
you just met this man that's wonderful that you really want are you gonna tell
him hey I was hurt before I don't want to be hurt again so let's continue to
date but you should also date other women because I don't want to get hurt
again no that's crazy certainly you would be cautious with
your heart and take things slowly at the same time when you meet that
one special person who turns your world upside down you're willing to do
whatever it takes to keep that person in your life whatever fears you might have
won't come close to the fear of losing the one that you really love so if a man
won't commit to you because he's afraid of getting hurt recognize this is the
manipulation and let him know that you're going to continue to date because
after all you want a relationship and that keeps you in the driver's seat then
move on and find the one that's afraid of losing you number three the I've been
cheated on before jealousy manipulation this is also a common manipulation that
controlling people used to justify and excuse they're jealous behaviors again
they want you to feel sorry about the fact that they were cheated on and they
use that as justification for why they're so possessive and jealous he
wants you to rationalize his behavior and say oh I understand why he's so
jealous he's been cheated on but I'm going to
prove to him that he can trust me and you think in time he will trust you and
not be so jealous and worried all the time and that's a big mistake here again
you'll be overcompensating thinking that you'll only have to do this temporarily
because he will soon trust you again you've been derailed your behavior is
reactive and you've given up your power the good news like most other difficult
emotional experiences jealousy that is motivated by insecurity can be a trigger
for growth but that starts with an honest conversation with yourself and
your partner discussing how jealous behavior is hurting your relationship if
you're dealing with an insecurity issue working together on the issue could
become the first step and increase self-awareness and greater
understandings of yourself and the relationship but let me make an
important distinction jealous feelings are not equal to jealous behaviors the
first is caused by some insecurities fear or anxiety over the possibility of
losing someone but jealous behaviors those are caused by a need to control
and possess your partner there's a big difference here so if you're seeing
multiple warning signs or a progressive pattern developed you should be
concerned pathologically jealous individuals construct these
evidence of disloyalty from irrelevant incidents they refused to change their
views even when confronted with contradicting information and they're
inclined to accuse their partner of unfaithfulness with many other
individuals under this form of jealousy one of the partners considers that he or
she has exclusive ownership over the other individual and that this ownership
is a necessity for preserving the relationship so be wise trust your
instincts and protect yourself if something doesn't sound or feel right do
what's best for you and keep yourself safe that brings me to my next point if
you've had experiences with a jealous partner and you'd like to share your
example please feel free to leave a comment sharing your story might be
incredibly helpful to someone who's dealing with a similar situation if you
haven't already watched the video on how men test women click here to check that
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