how to get a girlfriend hey it's Stephan Erdman here alright now if you know me then you know that i believe
that any man
can attract women
any man can be great at that
any man can get
girlfriends
have great relationships
if they put their minds to understanding
what makes the process work
how women get attracted to you
how you need to follow certain principles
that will make it easy for you and how you need to avoid certain things that
may feel great
when they're happening
but at the same time
uh... actually obstruct the process
one of those things that feels great
but actually obstructs the process
very often of her becoming attracted to you
is that moment when we notice that
she is perfect
when we notice oh she is our dream girl and we see this one girl and we go wow
you know I want her to be my girlfriend
i'm in love
i'm feeling it
it's amazing
i've never felt like this before she's perfect
you know she makes my
heart sing my stomach
getting butterflies and all that stuff
and we get so overwhelmed with that feeling that what happens next is we are here
let's see we are here
and
basically
we are seeing ourselves here
with her
that's a skirt
okay we see ourselves here and we are visualising that
this is the end goal and we go straight here in our minds right we imagine
ourselves
together you know whatever making babies yeah
we go straight there right and we hope that
because we are so overwhelmed with our feelings so excited about it
that naturally
she must feel the same way when we tell her that we are so excited about it and
we are so excited about her and she means so much to us
and because you know what if somebody did that to us we think that would be
wonderful right
so why doesn't it ever work out that way or very rarely
well because what we forget is that
it doesn't matter whether we attracted to her
what's much more important is that she becomes attracted to us
nothing is going to happen with her
just because we are attracted to her
something is going to happen if
we are attracted to her
but if she becomes attractive to us now i know that sounds really obvious
but very often because we get so overwhelmed with our feelings
we forget but that is actually the key thing here right
she needs to become attracted to us
when we jump straight ahead into this thing
what happens naturally
we want to tell her how much we love her
what she means to us and we will know you know
ask her out and let her know how much she means to us and
you know give her wonderful things and take her to dinner
show her how much we like her
and what's the reaction usually
well women get faced with this situation are
oh my god ok this guy really likes me
now
clearly
he's pushing in this direction so what i need to do
is either go with that
or
block him off right
so women are presented with this
choice of either
going along with something that they don't yet
experience themselves
so they feel pressure
to go along with what you are going to do which is getting intimate quickly
because you know it's right and you feel great about it
or to
keep distance and block you off and you know what say i'm not attracted to you but we can
be friends or whatever
so they're quickly
have this pressure of oh my god
whether i say yes or no
will either make him
you know very happy or very destroyed and i basically have his life in my hand
okay
because that's what it sounds like and looks like to her
when we want to go straight there yeah
make sense
so
women never get a chance to become attracted to you in this process
youngstown
women in that process them become attracted to you because they never get
the chance to
see you grow on them yeah unless they're instantly attracted to you which is not
very often to be honest
then they don't really get the chance to
you know get to know you
get to grow some affection some trust with you get to
grow some attraction to you
and go step by step
so what's the key to this
look this is a line yeah now
if you want to go from there being by yourself and dreaming of her... to here
being with her
then there are lots of steps
to take here okay
step-by-step process
and when we jump ahead
we mess up okay
what's the first step
building some trust
at this stage she still i think you know there's this guy who really likes me he's kind
of good looking but I mean
i don't know out
do I know him
so is he gonna be weird is he just going to try it
uh... have sex with me and
then fuck off or
what's he gonna do i mean i don't know yet
there's a bit more at stake for women than for men yeah
so
first step building trust once you built trust
second step might be
depends might be to
well
laugh for the first time together and i have
have a bit of a laugh maybe flirt with her a
you know so that might be the second step third step might be to
uh...
be a little bit physical playfully
get comfortable touching each other getting familiar physically as well right
next step might be uh...
you know
being
inviting her over dinner and being an environment when
you and her are
by yourselves you and her
after having built some trust after having built some attraction after getting a
bit comfortable physically and building that trust as well that you
you know that you know how to handle yourself and that you're not weird or creepy or
whatever
okay then you might be an apartment together you know maybe you kissing on
something okay
that builds more familiarity
then maybe having sex life
that again builds intimacy yet then maybe you're having you are starting to tell each
other some some stuff
about each other that is deeper like something that builds even more trust
more trust
and maybe there's more attraction building from that maybe there's more physical
intimacy building from that
and then
at that stage
you can talk about any of this stuff if you want
all of these steps
need to be taken and crucially they also need to be enjoyed by you
so
the key with this is
you want to focus on this step first
then you want to focus on this then you want to focus on this then you want to focus
on this
then you want to focus on this then you want to focus on this and then you can focus
on that
you don't want to go straight from there to there but want to go there there there there there
there there there
does this make sense
step
by
step
so that she is with you every step of the way rather than
you're jumping all the way ahead and then you're basically like forcing her to
make an instant life or death decision on your behalf
whether you're going to be happy
and overjoyed
or forever destroyed
because for
because the risk is for her
if she goes along with it while you're jumping ahead
like she might have to finish with you i've been three days yet because she
does not feel it yet or does not not trust you yet she doesn't even know whether she is
attracted to you she doesn't even know whether you are physically you know here
good at like you know
getting it on with her she doesn't even know whether you are a good kisser
she doesn't know all these things doesn't know wether you and her sexually
have something in common wether your dick is small or big or whatever
whether you fit you know all of this stuff
uh... so that's why this process has to build one one one one one one one
and you will need to focus on on the next step rather than the big step ahead
make sense
right
i hope this makes sense the step by step thing
is huge
don't jump ahead
just because you feel it doesn't mean that she's going to feel it
she needs to get attracted to you and for that you need to go step by step
and focus on each individual bit
and
and enjoy each individual bit
most guys see this whole dating thing as some sort of like
uh...
I don't know like a necessary evil to get to the end result
and that doesn't work for women trust me
make sense
I hope you enjoyed my little drawing and if you want more from me of course
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i've got
all those steps there for you in my programs as well
that will help you to take these steps
effectively with confidence
and great conversation skills uh... from the actual approaching to the building
trust and
and making it work on dates and so forth yes
so you have all those things there I create them for people who want them
it's absolutely your option if you want to take advantage of my best stuff in the
programs
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thanks very much take care
and try to think of it in this way rather than going all the way
into the future try it out a few times and just
gently bring yourself back to focusing on what's right here in front of you rather
than that
the big goal in the future okay
and you see
you will take the girl with you in the process and you enjoy the process a lot more and
you'll be focused much more
in the moment
because that's key when you try to get a girlfriend
i speak you very soon