by the end of this video,
you are going to know the only kind of
relationship that will actually work for that narcissist.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung
and I am a narcissist negotiation expert.
I am an attorney
and on this channel and in my videos here
I teach you how to shift the dynamic with narcissist
so that you can become the more powerful one.
finally break free and live the life that you were meant to live.
So if that sounds good to you,
make sure that you subscribe to this channel
and hit that notification bell.
Okay. So, let's talk about the only kind of relationship
that will actually work for narcissist.
So first of all, in order to understand that,
you have to understand narcissist in general.
So narcissists have no sense of inner value.
They are really an empty shell inside.
They have no sense of self.
Something happened to them when they were children
that made them feel like the world is a scary place.
The world is a place that is not to be trusted.
It's a place that they have to survive.
They're almost like gasping for air.
I kind of almost think of it
as like they are maybe starving
or they're in a swimming pool and they have to like,
they can't breathe or something.
In order for them to survive,
they have to grasp onto things
and nobody else can have it,
you know, and if they, if they give it all,
then they won't survive
and so it's kind of a sad way to be but
you passed out there.
I see you out there.
You know, you can't save them.
You can't love them back to health without
you being sucked in and drowning yourself.
Because it's really a black hole.
You try to give give give give.
You end up drowning along with them
because it never comes back to you.
So what happens is narcissist
need to be that center of attention
and everything revolves around them all the
time and you just find yourself constantly giving giving giving
and they're just taking taking taking
and all of a sudden after many many years
you realize Is that you just feel drained
and you just feel like the life has been drained out of you.
They're highly highly sensitive.
They are very easily slighted.
I often say that narcissist hear tones
like dogs here whistles.
You have to be really really careful
about how you say things
because sometimes you're just saying things and they are like,
oh, I don't like how you said that,
you know, like I didn't even say anything like anything
and they feel like you said something with a tone
or if they think you said it sarcastically or something
and you didn't say anything like that.
They definitely don't like to be told what to do
but yet they want everybody else to follow orders.
They will ghost you sometimes
but yet when you aren't immediately available
that they will start blowing up your
phone or show up to your house,
your office and
where were you?
and how come you didn't respond right away.
So it's a very one-sided type of relationship.
In that sense.
You have to be immediately available,
but they don't.
They have to have full access to everything that you're doing.
You don't necessarily have that with them.
They definitely don't want you to ever catch on
to who they actually are
because that could be really really damaging.
I have a whole video,
by the way on when the narcissist knows that you know.
You could definitely check out.
They definitely don't want a relationship where
their partner is more successful than them
or is more the center of attention than they are.
They will devalue the other partner.
They'll put the other partner down.
You know, if their partner is more popular than them.
They certainly won't like that.
That's never going to work out for them.
They'll be jealous of that.
So there's that.
The narcissist partner should always make sure that the narcissist feels special.
Give them lots of adulation.
Lots of compliments.
Make sure that they feel really cared for
even if it means going to extraordinary lengths.
You know, the narcissist has to feel like they're in charge.
The narcissist has to feel like they're always right
and if you know that I am right so far.
Give me a big, yup in the comments.
So, you know, it's really not so great
to be in a relationship with a narcissist
and you know, a lot of times the narcissist is prone
to what I call the three deadly sins of a relationship
which I call the
three A’s abuse addiction and adultery.
Also not great.
It's a roads the fundamental integrity of a relationship.
The trust factor.
Also, not the greatest.
Oftentimes you don't even really get to express your feelings.
Your feelings don't matter in a narcissistic relationship.
You don't feel like you can be yourself
when you are in a relationship with a narcissist.
You feel like your soul is being crushed
when you were in a relationship with a narcissist
but you know, that's the only kind of relationship that works
for a narcissist sometimes
because they are the only one that matters sexually as well.
I mean, I've done an entire videos on that.
Also, basically above everything, their needs have to be number one
and it's all about them and it's all about them
and their needs and so think about this,
also when you go to negotiate with them,
a lot of times a strategy is that potentially the negotiation
strategy could be that it has to be their idea.
You know, the settlement plan might be kind
of getting them to come up with the idea
of what the settlement plan might be,
which is totally fine sometimes
you know, let them think it was their idea.
Let them come to that conclusion.
Because who cares?
If It ultimately ends up being what it is that you want anyway.
A lot of times you have to take your ego out of it and I always say,
you know, do your best acting job and go,
Oh my gosh, I can't believe that's
what we ended up with because at the end of the If it was what you wanted anyway.
Let them think that they won because then at least you're done.
If they think that you won,
then you probably won't get to a resolution.
So something you think about.
If you are negotiating with anyone,
you definitely want to grab my free
Crush my negotiation prep worksheet.
You can get that at winmynegotiation.com
and definitely if you are
dealing with a narcissist at all.
Join my free private Facebook group at
Narcissus Negotiators With Rebecca Zung.
It's a support group. So much wonderful support going on there
and if you like this video, give it a like,
give it a share.
Make sure you subscribe to this channel
for so much more content.
So much more going on
and all kinds of really great stuff happening.
Events, new videos happening.
So subscribe, hit that notification bell
and remember to never give in and never give up.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist,
there are definitely ways to shift that dynamic.
We talk about that all the time right here on this channel.
So subscribe, hit that notification bell and I'm here for you.
Today is the best day to start negotiating your best life.
I'm Rebecca Zung
and I will see you in the next video.