- Good morning, good life everyone.
Welcome back to AmyTV where we come together
to help you go after the life you want.
If you clicked on this video you probably
have at least one goal that you are excited about.
I have about 82.
Is that normal?
Maybe you've gotten started towards your goal,
maybe you haven't jumped in yet.
Either way there's one mistake I see people make
that keeps their ideas day dreams and not real life,
and that's what I wanna talk to you about today.
(upbeat fun music)
- No matter how far outta your comfort zone
your idea of success is,
it's probably something that you have to work very hard on,
otherwise, you'd have it already.
We all want what we don't have.
And you know what, that is okay.
It's what drives us.
There's of course a healthy balance.
You don't wanna be stewing in the things that you want
and never doing anything about it.
It's about that idea of being so amazing,
that level of success being so desirable,
that you will take action and do something about it.
Will you do what it takes or are you too busy
trying to figure out what the rest of the world
thinks about this idea.
If you want your path to success to be more like a freeway
and less like a parking lot we need to talk about
the biggest mistake that I see people making
so that you can avoid it and breeze on by.
Before we dig into this conversation
I have to give a little bit of Twitter gratitude.
And this goes out to ThisIsWriterMom.
Yesenia, thank you so much
for your time and attention to these videos,
I acknowledge you and I appreciate you,
and I love that you retweeted this video.
If you would like a little shout out here on AmyTV,
it's very simple, all you have to do
is follow me on Twitter and retweet my video
when it comes out.
Thank you to everybody who follows and retweets on Twitter,
again, I love and appreciate your love and appreciation.
Okay, so what's this big mistake
that's keeping you from achieving your goal.
I'm sure you're dying to know at this point.
Amy, way to tease it up.
You may remember in a previous video we talked about
the biggest distractions that are killing your productivity.
And there was one in particular
that really resonated with you.
Overdosing on advice.
Wow, a lot of you have experienced this.
This can take shape in so many ways,
and it's a scary trip up.
Because of that it's usually disguised
as something that successful people do,
but everything is in moderation.
And that is why this tends to be more of a speed bump
than it is escalation for a lot of people.
With the abundant amount of information
we have in this internet age,
it's very easy to fall into this trap
of just looking for the information we want
and trying to get all the results that we want
without actually doing anything about it.
When you Google a question and you get an answer,
it's fairly addictive.
It's why a lot of us don't remember a lot of things anymore.
We just pull our phone out to answer a question,
say at a dinner party where someone says,
oh who was it again that discovered America?
Mmm, I don't have to remember that;
I can just type it into Google.
Look at me.
God it's scary.
But it's not just that.
If you wanna go on a diet and you want it
to be a very specific way and you search for it,
somebody probably created something just like it.
If you wanna start a business in a specific line of work
and you wanna know what someone has done just like it
in the past there's probably an eBook about it.
This is all fantastic as long as we're not talking about
the grapefruit diet and fake millionaire coaching, right?
You want to learn from the smartest
and best resources in the world whenever possible,
but you also need to understand
what you're truly capable of.
If you do nothing but learn and absorb and never understand
what it means for you to actually execute on something
in your life you will only continue to be the messenger
for everybody else who figured out how to actually do it.
Don't you love that person that's got all the answers,
but you're trying to figure out
why they haven't done anything
with the information they seem to always have?
I'm trying to keep that from being you, please.
Let's talk about what a couple of different examples
of overdosing on advice look like.
Signing up for too many classes.
Now with the internet, again,
you can find a course on anything, an eBook on anything,
and so the tendency is, oh,
there's a course on that, I'm gonna buy it,
there's a free webinar on that, I'm gonna attend it.
All these things that you do you are either exchanging
time or money or both,
and that's great if you're starting from somewhere
that is not executable.
But if you actually have knowledge
that you can test out you have to go back and forth
between the education and the action.
I can see a chronic course taker from a mile away.
Those are usually the people that I would have turned down
to work with as coaching clients
because I know that they just want to talk to me
like I'm their therapist rather than hear from me
on what I think that they should do
because they're so busy telling me
all the things they've learned in all their courses
that they think that they actually have a handle,
yes you have a handle on it, awesome.
Why are we here?
Another example of the class taker
is the return to schooler.
This is gonna be a little controversial
because I think my views on college
are a little controversial.
But I worry when I hear from people
who haven't found direction after getting a degree,
who haven't found a job, who haven't found a passion,
and then they say, oh, so, I'm gonna go back to school.
But it's just like not attached to anything.
It's just I'm gonna go back to school,
so solved that problem.
I don't know what I want, I don't know what I like,
and so therefore, I'm gonna go back and have a professor
tell me one of these things.
What?
No, god.
No, stop going into debt for someone else
who has been given tenure to tell you
what you should do with your life.
Figure it out by yourself.
Do something.
You could work at McDonald's and learn more about yourself
than just go back to school for no freaking reason.
Passionate, sorry.
If you have a plan, if it's like I need to go back
to get this particular line of education
because it's either required with what I wanna do
or I need to understand it more for some other reason.
It's completely your prerogative.
If there's a plan attached, I love it.
But don't go get your masters
because you think going into debt further
is going to help you understand
what you're passionate about.
I just genuinely don't believe that.
Another example of this overdose
is asking experts to mentor you.
It is almost 2020.
Not only are we in the internet age,
we can ask electronic devices to tell us a joke.
Hey Siri, tell me a joke.
- [Siri] I admit I was wrong about
how good my chiropractor is,
I stand corrected.
- That wasn't half bad actually.
The greatest mentors that there could ever be
know that they have something to share with you
and have created some scalability
in getting that information to you.
Not everyone in the world, not everyone,
but a lot of them are creating YouTube videos,
they are making podcasts, they are writing blog posts,
and remember the first big content sharing thing
that people do?
Write books, those are out there.
So instead of saying oh I feel like I can't be a success
unless this particular person,
I'm gonna email Amy, I'm gonna email Amy,
and I'm gonna say, Amy, you need to mentor me.
I am the perfect mentee for you.
Here is what I'm passionate about.
Here is what I wanna do.
You need to spend your time on me.
You are better off getting my attention
a completely different way.
'Cause first of all you're just banking on the fact
that I have time to take on a mentee right now.
I'm just using myself as an example.
And you're banking on the fact
that I want to see you starting from scratch.
I would much rather you say, hey Amy,
just wanted to drop you a line in an email
very quickly, bullet pointed
'cause I know you don't like to read lengthy emails,
I took your advice from your morning routine video
and this is how it changed my life
and then I took this piece of advice
and this is how it changed my life.
And then I took this piece of advice
and I grew a YouTube channel.
I don't know what it is.
Tell me what you did with the information
I'm sharing with you already.
If you want to be mentored by someone
absorb everything that they do.
Go find old TV shows of them, if it's Bob Ross.
There's this huge misconception that just because
we are better connected to each other on the internet
with social media it means that everyone has to give
everyone else the time of day.
We may be peers on Twitter,
but that doesn't mean that somebody has to change
the way they manage their time to better guide you.
Take what is already being offered to you
for the low, low price of internet access
and a computer and a mobile device and LTE.
Okay, that's beyond the point.
Here's a fun one, asking people question
that you could easily have Googled.
This is awkward.
There have been so many times,
and I've tried just not to say it
and now I'm choosing to say it in a video
where people ask me a question,
and it's either something that they should Google
and they will get much better information on it
and they won't have to wait
or it's a piece of content I've absolutely created
and they didn't bother to go looking for it
so they just ask me.
So for example, if you were to tweet me,
Amy, what is your morning routine?
I would be very frustrated
and I would share a link to my YouTube video.
Even more likely, not gonna make the time to reply
because I'm busy and that's totally something
you can search for on my YouTube channel.
Why haven't you don't that yet
if you know I make videos and you know
I talk about morning routines?
Connect the dots.
Action, action, action.
This is a tough one.
This one happens I think so much more
than people even realize that they're doing.
Maybe a lot of these are that way,
but asking literally everyone around you,
literally everyone, mailman included, what to do.
You're grappling with something,
you're trying to make a tough decision,
you don't know what to do.
You're like a or b, a or b, a or b.
I don't know, I don't know.
And I'm sure that's difficult.
But if you never make the decision
and you only ask what everyone else thinks on this,
you're running a poll literally like
you're running for president or something.
You're not.
There are only so many people whose opinions matter in this.
Who are the people you live with,
your closest family, your dearest friends,
your mentors, your personal board of directors, yourself.
Stop asking everyone what they think
and go with your gut and ask
the more meaningful questions on,
okay, let's say I'm gonna do this,
now I'm gonna ask my husband how he would feel
about this adjustment if I were to do that
or how he would feel about me doing this.
If you are asking better questions to better poll
the audience that actually matters, game on.
If you're just going around to the whole world
and asking them if something sounds like a good idea,
they're gonna say it's a good idea.
We don't just want people to say we have good ideas,
we want them to give us constructive criticism,
especially when we have moments
where we're actually asking for the criticism,
'cause you know they give it to you
when you don't ask for it.
So ask for it in a meaningful way,
something that's actually gonna make a difference for you.
Something that could just be happening by default
because of all these other things
is never drawing a conclusion based
on your own understanding, execution, and reasoning,
but just going with something or repeating answers
to things based on what someone else has determined.
Whether it works or not, it's not smart for you
to not have an opinion on something.
And these days it feels like everyone's
got an opinion on everything.
But it's also very easy to fall in the trap
of being vanilla, to fall in the trap of not having
your own opinion or not being confident about it.
That's a trap you don't wanna be in.
Trust me, been there.
And this one is a little bit of a curve ball,
it's the last one I'm gonna talk about,
and that is oversaturation.
You're learning, you're taking classes,
you're trying to execute on things.
You're not seeing a lot of results right away,
and after about a week of trying really hard
on your new passion you blame oversaturation.
I was just watching the Grammys over the weekend
and I remember talking to my friend, Sophia,
and I said, do you know what I love about this?
Absolutely love about this.
I don't know who any of these people are.
You could be negative and say,
I'm getting old, I don't know who the latest artists are.
Or you can see the silver lining in this
and say if the Grammys can have a huge amount
of new artists as of the last five to 10 years,
is that not the finest example of the fact
that oversaturation doesn't exist?
If music was only ever the popular people from the 60s
or the 70s or the 80s and then everyone else
just wasn't good enough or the times didn't change
or there weren't fresh perspectives,
there weren't people knocking down new barriers,
it would just be a snooze fest.
People wouldn't care about music the way that they do.
The same goes for whatever you want.
If you wanna start a blog, don't say it's oversaturated.
If you wanna start a YouTube channel,
don't say it's oversaturated.
If you wanna go into beauty,
don't say it's oversaturated.
There is always opportunity to differentiate yourself
in the way that you present this thing.
And other people who have been ahead of you
are not oversaturating or dominating,
they're paving the way.
So don't overdose on their advice
and then not take it and then blame it on them
as to why you're not taking it
because that just sounds ridiculous.
When you really spell it out like that
do you not feel like oh gosh,
I think I've done that.
I've done that before.
It's totally relatable.
But the oversaturation conversation needs to stop.
All right, let's talk about what we've learned here today
with a tweetable.
"Swimming in advice is just interesting busyness.
"You're not ignorant, but you're not knowledgeable either.
"Take advice and weigh it with action for your own path
"to success and accomplishment."
I wanna hear from you.
Have you seen yourself stuck in Adviceland for too long?
We all do it.
What did you do to get out of it?
What did it look like for you?
Let's help each other.
Share it in the comments below.
And don't forget to check out amylandino.com
where I share a lot more resources for you,
if you're trying to get more productive
or have a better morning routine,
or just wanna know what the latest books
that I'm reading are,
you can find everything at amylandino.com.
That's all for today, thank you so much for tuning in.
I appreciate it as always.
Make sure you subscribe for good vibes,
kiss the ones you love,
and go after the life you want.
Cheers.
I can see a chronic course, classmate.
(laughing)
That was kinda cute but I don't know if it works.
Make sure I don't have a bra strap showing here.
So much love around here, just so much love.
Well, that example went really poorly.
(laughing)