- ♪ Like this video and share it ♪ - It's too real!
- (Gabbie) I have an ungodly fear of rejection.
- Wow.
- It was scary putting it out because anytime you expose yourself
and you're so vulnerable, it's very scary.
♪ (dramatic chord) ♪
- Welcome back, guys.
- (gasping) - (Gabbie) I'm going to roast myself--
- Gabbie!
- (Gabbie) I'm gonna roast myself again because,
well, last time it just-- - She's cute.
- (Gabbie) I'm gonna roast myself again--
- I saw this.
- I love this. I've seen it.
- I've already seen this. - Oh, I've seen this, yeah.
I like this. - I do too because it has
a drastic change.
- ♪ Yo, 'sup, I'm Gabbie ♪
♪ I'm a high roller ♪
♪ Rollin' through is a brand new Toyota Corolla ♪
- That Corolla, though.
- ♪ Live alone in a two bedroom apartment ♪
♪ But it's real cheap ♪
♪ You can tell by the carpet ♪ - Exposed.
- ♪ That's okay 'cause I'm never home ♪
♪ I'm at the gym as you probably know ♪
♪ 'Cause I post it every single time ♪ - (laughing)
- She has been working out a lot.
Yo, her body transformation.
- ♪ Had the glow up of the motha-fuggin century ♪
- She did have the glow up of the century.
- She's spitting truth.
- ♪ That's right, I'm single and I can't keep a man ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm crazy in a way... ♪ - She's really good at this format.
- ♪ Lots of fans but where all my friends and ♪
♪ I'm alone every night of the weekend ♪
- Same, girl.
- ♪ 'Cause my social life's been in the trash can ♪
- That was disgusting, P.S.
- ♪ Uh-oh! Oh, no! My views are low! ♪
♪ Looks like my hair has got to go ♪ - (laughing)
- ♪ Looks like my hair has go to go ♪
- That's so something that literally every--
you've done it. I've done it.
- ♪ Always say I'm workin' hard ♪
♪ But then again, who am I kidding ♪
♪ See my job is a joke, I take selfies for a living ♪
- She's so self-aware.
- ♪ Storytime ♪
♪ I admit I may have overreacted ♪
♪ And I hope you can see past it... ♪
- This is just an ode to how I built my channel
on really dramatic storytimes, and I filmed it like a storytime
with the jump cuts.
- ♪ It's a business tactic 'cause the honest fact is ♪
- This is quite well done, I must say.
- ♪ See, I have an audience that has a demographic ♪
♪ On a platform run by analytics ♪ - (sighing) Yeah.
- ♪ On a platform as long as you're charismatic ♪
- This is really good.
- ♪ Then the platform rewards bein' a dick ♪
- True. - ♪ So maybe that's me ♪
♪ If the shoe fits, wear it ♪
♪ Hey, forgive me ♪
♪ Like this video and share it ♪ - It's too real!
- ♪ And I think we can all forgive Bryan Le ♪
- Oh.
- ♪ 'Cause he only did what you all wanna do to me ♪
- Damn. Damn.
- I was nervous to put this in, but I'm glad I did.
- Ooh. Ooh, I like this.
- Then it gets real.
- And now we get real serious on your ass.
- (Gabbie) Overwhelmed, overworked, overpaid.
I'm on top of the world, sitting pretty on a stack,
but the static still cracks in my veins.
- This gives me goosebumps.
- (Gabbie) At the bottom of the universe,
I'm feeling all the weight. People die for this.
People lie for this.
People suck and [bleep] some guy for this.
- I love when artists do this.
- (Gabbie) Play my part, but what's my role in this?
- This was actually written first months ago as well.
I didn't know how I was going to present it.
- (Gabbie) I'm not built for this. All the guilt of this.
And I don't think I can deal with this.
- I like how real this is, honestly.
- (Gabbie) Gonna fold from this.
People starvin' and I get gold for this?
- That's a powerful line.
- I do like that she's always willing to be very vulnerable.
- It's like what people want to say, but don't say.
- (Gabbie) I get it. I know. It's such a conundrum.
I get what I want, but I can't have much fun with it.
- I do like where it's going.
I thought it was just another self-diss track
and it's very much beyond that.
- (Gabbie) ...don't give a [bleep] about what I've been earning,
but each day I wake up more blessed and I'm learning
of all of these people, I'm least to deserve it.
You don't see the scene that's behind the screen
and I urge you all to beware of it. - Girl!
Oh, my heart.
- (Gabbie) I'm sorry for my obsession with attention.
I have an ungodly fear of rejection. - Wow.
- My apprehension and objection is the viral infection
of dollars and followers in place of affection.
What I need--
- This was actually all freestyle in booth.
- (sighing) I just want to retweet it all.
- (Gabbie) They find my disinterest interesting,
my depression a funny thing.
My decline is relatable. People love that I hate myself--
- No!
- (Gabbie) People love that I hate myself.
People love that I hate myself.
- Oh!
- I just want to give her a hug.
- (Gabbie) I climbed out of my head and watched myself implode,
a thought without a body ought to be the shot
to take a load of my--
- And then it's like spoken poetry.
It is very interesting, the beats of this video.
- (Gabbie) My brain is poison and I'm searching for the antidote,
but every time I find it, my defenses scream,
"Oh, no, you don't." - She's so well spoken.
- (Gabbie) Who am I and when-- - "Who am I and when?"
I think that.
- (Gabbie) When does my workday end and where does me begin?
- That!
Where does my workday end?
- (Gabbie) Are these my colleagues or my friends?
- That's true. Damn.
- (Gabbie) ...ten to one, do you hate who I've become?
Because I hate who I've become. - Oh.
- (Gabbie) I'm sorry for who I've become.
- Wow. Wow, there's a lot going on there,
like all about the complexities of, you know, YouTube as a job,
but also as, you know, your life.
It really makes you think.
- Everything in that video is completely true,
and there's a lot of stuff that related very heavily
to a lot of stuff I was doing because when I came out here to LA,
I took a whole week off because of a lot of that stuff.
- Obviously, everybody has this persona that they put out,
and not just YouTubers but anyone on social media
is curating what they want you to see,
and I think that this was the perfect medium for it,
which makes sense because I'm a YouTuber.
- I'm really glad she's talking about those types of feelings
because I know that a lot of creators feel the same way
and have had similar feelings and thoughts
to what she's going through.
Hearing people's thoughts, artist's thoughts,
about how they're feeling through this journey
in this very new world, this very new realm,
is a new perspective.
- (FBE) So that was Roast Yourself Harder Challenge Diss Track...
by content creator Gabbie Hanna.
- Gabbie Hanna, The Gabbie Show.
- (FBE) ...who is actually in this episode as well.
- Oh, wow.
- (FBE) Before we get into some questions,
we're gonna have you read some of the lyrics.
- Sure, I would love to.
- "I'm too old for this. Gonna fold from this.
People starvin' and I get gold for this?"
- First line, yeah, that's a thing that sits in the back of my head.
Personally, I've been doing it for 12 years, you know,
so when am I gonna get-- am I already too old for this?
Probably.
- Playing on that YouTubers are rewarded for what some people
could frown upon.
It's just weird, the things that you capitalize on
when you're a YouTube creator.
- Those people are starving. It puts it in perspective,
and it's just like we're taking pictures,
we get on camera, we do collabs and it's like,
"Ugh, I'm so stressed!"
But it's like, word, bro? Word?
"My life is so hard." Word?!
There's people starving right now.
- For me, there's a lot of guilt that comes along with the fact
that I think most people know that we're very affluent,
we're very blessed.
When you look at the rest of the world,
it almost feels so helpless and what did I do to deserve this?
Some of us make more than doctors and we're not saving lives.
- "I get it, I know it's such a conundrum.
I get what I want but I can't have much fun with it."
- "It's not the fame or the money I'm yearnin'.
I don't give a [bleep] about what I've been earnin'."
- "But each day I wake up more blessed and I'm learnin'
of all of these people, I'm least to deserve it."
- If you work hard enough, you know, at some point
you absolutely deserve the success, and I think she does
deserve the success. Don't be so hard on yourself, Gabbie!
- This is also a very common feeling amongst successful people,
especially people who have big hearts and are humble and are down-to-earth.
They've grounded.
A lot of people feel like they don't deserve the success
that they've earned or worked for, and I think that's a very natural thing.
- Yes, those pressures do exist, and to be a YouTuber
is to almost sign a contract that you're going to take on
18 weird mental issues, but I think that every one of them
are an honor to take on and I think it's a fun challenge
to try to persevere through that and keep your cool
and your sanity and create.
The fact that she took her darkness and some of those things
and put them out there like that and processed them creatively,
I mean, hey, you can't hate on that.
- It just comes down to your self worth
and your self esteem, and as I work on that,
I realize I do deserve this, but it was scary putting it out
because any time you expose yourself, and you're so vulnerable,
it's very scary.
So that's my message to everyone and what I'm hoping
more people can do here is just stop hiding.
- "Who am I and when?" That's a cool lyric.
"When's my work day end and where does me begin?
Are these my colleagues or my friends?"
Interesting.
- That is very true when you sign up on social media,
that you're signing up for a 24-7, nonstop job
that never ends--
- Because you're always playing yourself.
- There's no off, you know, because no matter what you're doing
at any time of the day, you could run into someone
who might be a viewer, and whether you've been having
the worst day of your life, if you're mean to this person,
they could go to their Twitter account and suddenly you are
literally the devil.
- Take the time for yourself.
That is something I learned the hard way,
was that working myself into the ground
was destroying me, and even though I had fun
with it, there's a point where you do too much
that you start resenting it, and you don't want
to build up that resentment with it because that's a hard thing
to ever get back, to that passionate side of it.
- (FBE) Why did you decide to make this video?
What was your goal in creating this?
- I just try to live as honestly as I can.
The hardest part about being a YouTuber
is having to talk to millions of people
when all you want to do is disappear, and I think everybody
deserves that moment and that time where they can pull back
and just be themselves and be okay
and not put makeup on and whatever, but on YouTube,
there's that pressure of you have to create.
My biggest, biggest thing was realizing sometime last year
that I wasn't alone in everything that I was feeling.
I think finding that common ground has actually helped all of us.
- (FBE) As a content creator, who do you think is one of the biggest things
people miss or don't know about having fame
with how close you interact with your audience,
and the mental toll it can sometimes take?
- Yeah, um, it's-- there is a mental toll
because on a personal level, all I do is read comments and tweets,
you know, to make these videos, and it's kind of taxing.
There are some videos that I'm really excited to make.
There are some videos where I can't stand,
but I have to power through them because it's a job.
- It's a very isolated lifestyle.
You work from home.
I mean, for me especially, I don't have to get on camera,
so, yeah, it's very isolating. Not everybody gets it.
- It's hard sometimes for people to see
that there's a real person behind the account
that they're looking at.
- Everyone's brought up in a different way,
and that's why I think people like YouTube,
is because they get to see how somebody else lives their life,
so it's very easy to be like this is what I think about
the way you live.
- People don't realize how hard it is to make friends.
When you see somebody with so many followers,
you just assume, well, they have so many people that love them
and, yeah, that might be the case, but these are strangers
and 99.9% of the time, I don't see them face-to-face,
and even if I did, I don't know them and they don't know me to the core.
- It's interesting. With YouTubers, it's different
because I would see Chris Hemsworth and go,
"Oh, he's dreamy. Wow, that's Chris Hemsworth."
But I don't know who Chris Hemsworth is.
I would still have questions.
I'd be like, "I wonder what he's like?"
But these people watching this right now, they know me.
Like, this is me.
I'm in my videos.
Sure, sometimes it's a turned up version of yourself
because you're making a video and you want to have energy
and it's fun, but at the end of the day, it's you.
- I think people always come to me about
is how do you get over hate?
And as much as the internet likes to rally behind you,
it can just take one thing and then it just takes one person
to focus the negative people on what you do,
and then they can immediately assault you
and that can be very, very overwhelming.
- (FBE) So it seems like over the past couple years,
more online stars have started to be more open
about the struggles of this new type of fame as presented.
For you personally, have you spoken to your audience about
that type of stuff? - I think no.
I don't speak about it with my audience
because, you know, I'm really lucky to have
a lot of grounding energies in my life.
- It's wonderful that creators are being open about that,
especially if they originally started creating content
on maybe a very aggressive schedule that wasn't sustainable long-term,
and then they're realizing that this is not sustainable
at this volume and having an open conversation
with your communities.
- In the last year or so, I've opened up a whole lot more
because I realized all it's doing is building stress, anxiety,
depressive tendencies, really bad mental health habits,
and I'm always trying to promote a healthier mentality,
so I figured if I'm going to do that, why would I not practice what I preach?
The connection with the audience is always the most important thing to me
because if people see you as a person, then they understand
when you're coming from.
But if you're just an entertainment entity,
you can never explain yourself.
- (FBE) So on the heels of some of what Gabbie mentioned
in the video, we want to do a rapid fire segment
to get a sense of life as an online star.
So many hours a day do you work? - 10+.
- I would say 10.
- 10-12 hours.
- I work on average 100 hours a week.
- I think I work 24 hours a day because you wake up
and you're thinking about what you're going to create
and then you go to bed thinking about what you have to do.
- You're never off because your social media
is still part of your job, so it's technically 24-7.
- (FBE) Do you ever find that some people
don't take you seriously because you're an online creator?
- Yes! A million times yes!
- 100%.
- I'm in the age where everyone's in college
and doing internships, so when people's parents
look at me, they're like, "Mmmm."
- Yeah, all the time.
Especially when I had green hair, no one takes a green haired
video game YouTuber very seriously.
A lot of people who do these diss tracks
go a surface level because they're afraid of actually opening
that door in case it does make people look at you differently,
and she was like, you know what, I don't care.
I'm stripping everything off and I liked that, symbolically,
she took the makeup off and was like here's who I am.
This is what YouTube is actually like.
There are aspects to it that people don't realize what they're
getting in for and with anything that comes
with social media influence and anything that has to do with fame
and fortune and notoriety, this comes with it.
- (FBE) Do you feel like you have a good work/life balance?
- Um, no.
Just because when I'm not working,
I feel guilty, like I should be working.
- I used to kind of work on weekends a little bit,
but I'm really trying harder and harder
to hard out at 5:00 or 6:00, or when my wife comes home,
get out from the computer, you're done.
- I'm definitely working towards it, which is why I think
I was able to release this piece because I feel like
sometimes you can't talk about something
until you're finding your way out, and I'm finding my way out.
- (FBE) So with this episode of YouTubers React
getting, you know, a little deep, what do you hope fans
and other creators will get out of watching,
you know, something like this?
- That's okay to talk about it.
I hope it sparks a dialogue.
- I hope that by people watching things like this
they are inspired in whatever way they need to be
because sometimes seeing things like this
puts the truth out there and makes people go, ooh,
maybe I don't want to get that close to the YouTube life.
- Her song is really relatable and there will be people out there
who are listening to it, that it's gonna help them
though things.
- It's okay to feel these types of ways
and you're not the only person feeling them
and it's more than okay to reach out to other people.
- YouTube is the perfect therapy bed because no matter
what you're going through, no matter how alone you feel,
there's at least a million other people
that feel exactly like you, and then when you put it out there
and expose yourself, you'll be shocked at what comes back at you.
- It's okay to take time for yourself.
You're never ever gonna lose that influence
as long as you're passionate about what you do.
What's up here is more important than how many likes
you have on anything.
- I hope that nothing that I said comes off as ungrateful
or like I hate my job. I love my job
and I'm very grateful for everything I have.
It's just a weird emotional conundrum.
- Thank you so much for watching this episode of YouTubers React.
- A lot of links down there for a lot of cool YouTubers.
Go subscribe to some of them.
- See you later, guys!
- Hi, guys, JC here, a producer here at FBE.
Thanks so much for watching this episode of YouTubers React.
Big thanks to all the creators who came down to shoot with us today,
and a big thanks to Gabbie for letting us
use her video and also reacting to it.
Thanks so much. Bye, guys.