we have in common-- I know you know this--
is that one of my writers
is someone that used to work with you as well, Romen.
- Yes. - Who you actually texted me--
you were like, "I love Romen."
I ended up hiring him. He's a great writer.
I'm sure he's been in many segments of the show as well.
I thought we would try a little segment called...
Surprise, we have Romen here. Romen.
- [laughs] - Here we go, welcome, welcome.
- What up? - Welcome.
Thank you for writing the show. This is one of our writers.
He's trying to come from my brand with his hair,
but that's okay, we'll talk about this later.
You are familiar with each other, obviously.
- Hey, Kal. - Yes.
What a mislead, by the way.
Romen texted me a couple hours ago like,
"Hey, are you doing 'Lilly' this week?"
- [laughs] - I was like, "Yeah."
But I also thought you might know that.
But anyway, now I see why. What's up?
- Very good, very good.
So Romen, you've worked for Kal,
you've worked for myself, right?
You're currently employed by me.
That shouldn't bias you at all, though.
Don't worry about it.
So I thought you could comment
a little bit on mine and Kal's boss styles
and let us know who would do what.
Sound good? - Of course, let's do it.
- All right, I'll give you some scenarios.
Here we go.
So Romen, who's more likely to send a
"we need to talk" email? Me or Kal?
- Okay, so, you guys both have different styles.
Now, I will say this. I've been with Kal on occasions
where people come up with him on the street
and try to hand him a joint 'cause he played Kumar.
So Kal, I think wants to be taken as seriously as possible.
- Well, hang on, Romen, that's--
for everybody watching,
nobody is sympathizing with me as if that's a bad thing.
Like, "Oh, poor you, you get offered free weed
on the streets?"
Go on.
- Kal, I think wants people
to take him as serious as possible, so he--
on email he is very formal, I will say.
And I have gotten "we need to talk" emails from Kal.
I sent him to the wrong hotel once at, like, 1:00 a.m.,
and I got a "we need to talk" email.
Now, Lilly, you, on the other hand,
I think are a little more chill on email.
Let's not forget the time that you replied all by accident
to an email chain with NBC top executives...
- Yes, correct.
- And you remember what the email you sent said?
- I said, "The duke from "Bridgerton" is very sexy.
we should get him on the show." Yes, I said that.
- But then you sent a follow-up email saying,
"I'm so sorry, that was an accident--disregard," right?
- Yes, and then under that I said,
"But I still stand by what I said.
The duke is very sexy. We should book him on the"...
[laughter]
- So the "we need to talk" email goes to Kal.
- Kal.
You know what? I applaud you for that.
I wish I could send these emails.
The reason I don't is they make me nervous.
I don't wanna talk. Who wants to talk?
I not--not I.
- Okay, next one here.
Ooh, this is a spicy one, Kal. Okay.
"Who is more likely to drag you publicly for messing up?"
- This is a good one.
So I have been dragged publicly by both of you.
- [laughs]
- Lilly, you recently did a rant that I contributed to,
and you said-- not as a behind the scenes--
this went to air.
You told a joke, you stopped,
you looked to the camera and you said,
"One of my white writers definitely wrote that joke."
[laughter]
- Was it you? - Yes, it was me.
- [laughs]
- Kal, on the other hand,
Kal asked me to pick some stuff up for him once,
and he gave me a shopping list.
And there was an item on it
I had never heard of called tindora.
- Oh, tindora. Yeah.
- So I Googled it.
I couldn't find it, so I Googled what it was.
And instead, I bought a different item
called parwal. - Blgeh.
- And I thought that it would be the same thing.
- Parwal is not--
for all the gujjus watching this,
you know that tindora and parwal
are not the same thing.
And parwal is nasty and crunchy and bitter.
- What are you even talking about?
What are these things? Food?
- Groceries. - Exactly.
I didn't know what this was.
What I do know is that I woke up the next morning
to a series of tweets from Kal, public tweets,
about what his assistant had done, with pictures,
screenshots of texts from me, and he tagged me in them.
So all day, I'm getting in my mentions,
people about how he needs to fire me,
are tweeting for my public firing.
Gujaratis, who knew what this meant, when I don't.
- Very offended Gujaratis who knew--
they were like, "You can't screw that one up."
- So while you have both dragged me publicly,
only Kal tagged me in the dragging
so that I was almost fired.
- Yeah, mine was by far the pettier version.
- [laughs]
You're a good sport. Okay, next one.
"Between me and Kal, who is more likely to be frugal?"
AKA, who--which of us is the cheaper person?
- So let me just say that you are my current boss
and could fire me at any moment.
Kal has some great stories about me in his book,
and he could choose to take those out any moment.
I don't really wanna embarrass either of you
and call you frugal, so I don't really wanna answer that--
- Here's the thing, I wouldn't be--I take pride.
I would be upset if you said he's more frugal.
I'm the more frugal one.
- Yeah, like, I am very proud
of being the son of immigrants who's--
you know, my dad moved here
with $8 in his pocket, you know?
Like, that's-- I just told a story
about how I canceled the HBO trial.
I wanted to watch "Succession."
- Kal, hit me with a cheap story.
I'll tell you one of my cheap stories, okay?
I'm so frugal that I have my parent characters, as you know,
I've had them since 2010.
Same wig, same outfit, same suit, same shirt.
Not as a creative choice, just for budget.
If you look at Manjeet's wig, it's falling apart.
You can see the lace. I refuse to buy a new one.
A new wig is probably, what? 19.99?
Why? Why spend the money?
I don't need to.
- Kal was featured prominently
on a major newspaper, on the front page
of one of their sections, Sunday edition.
And he texted me and was like,
"Yo, do you have a login I can use so I can"--
the answer was, "No, I don't."
The next question was, "I wanna read it.
Can you take a series of screenshots?"
[laughter]
- That's true. That's 100% true.
- Wow. I'm so impressed.
I'm so proud you're my friend. This is why I'm proud.
Romen, thank you so much for letting us put you
in this very uncomfortable situation.
I appreciate it--stay here, we can do the outro together.
For everyone watching at home, make sure you preorder
Kal's book called "You Can't Be Serious" right now.
Kal, thank you so much for coming to chat.
- Thank you. Thanks for having me.
Good to see you. - Okay! Bye.
- Night.
- You're right, I could fire you at any moment.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding. [laughter]