[Jun] Are you move to Japān?
Do you know how to set up your apaatmento? (apartment)
Watch this easzi guide, and I'll tell you how!
[In Japanese] Ugh. Stupid foreigner can't even use a f****** bathroom..
[Rachel] What?
[Jun] Welcome to your new Japanese basurumu~
Your basurumu may look like dis,
Or, if you're a poor pāson, (person)
your tub, shink, and toiret will be all in same room.
[Rachel] Why is there a mirror in here? Won't it just get foggy?
[Jun] Haha, gaijin-san. ["Silly foreigner"]
Buy Kumoridomē sponji and use it on curinu (clean) mirror.
Now when mirror is foggy, just sprash with water.
Congraturātion!
Now you see body while you shower!
... nebaamindo.
Do not use sponji.
Now you're in Japan.
When you finish shower, you go in tub to relax.
[Rachel] I don't need to use the tub.
They get really dirty and it's really hard to scrub clean..
[Jun] ONLY BARBARIAN BATHE IN DIRTY TUB!
IN JAPAN WE CLEAN TUB EBURI NAITO. (every night)
[Rachel] Every night?!
[Jun] Pay attention!
Fāsto: (first)
Spurē (spray) the tub with water.
Sekando:
Spray with curinaa!
Saado (Third):
Scrub with sponji on stick and rinse offu!
[Rachel] You do this every night?
[Jun] YES.
Here in Japan, we do this every naito.
It takes saati (30) seconds and you will never have to scrub your tub again!
Ando you can sit in CURINU water
instead of bazing (bathing) with DEAD SKIN and OIRU. (OIL)
[In Japanese] YOU WHITE PIG.
[Rachel] Okay...
[Jun] Once your tub is clean
put da stoppa in,
setto your watā haito ānd temperature
and you can fill za tub now.
Or wait until reita (later) and use your remote panel in ki-chin (kitchen)
to start filling the tub.
[Panel, in Japanese] "Filling with hot water now!"
[Rachel] Why are there slits on the side?
Won't stuff go down it and make it dirty under the tub?
[Jun] Don't you think we planned for that?
If your tub is designed like this,
you can take off the front panel to access the inside for curiningu.
Thank you for asking!
Japan is having many asuquaku (earthquakes)
You must prevent your furniture from fāru (falling) and kiring (killing) you.
We have many producto to maku your apaatmento safe.
For your tall furniture we have Taishin pōru. [Earthquake pole]
Simply stretch them to ceiling and tighten.
For heavy objecto that too short for pōru, (pole)
we have bery sticky pad.
It's bery, bery sticky.
Put under things like refrijiretaa (refrigerator)
and your precious terebi [television].
Now in asuquaku, your things be less broken
and you have less chance to DIE.
[In Japanese] That's too bad.
[Rachel] Ooh, I love tatami! It's so pretty!
[Jun] STUPID FOREIGNER!
Do you even know how mendokusai [obnoxious] is tatami?!
Tatami is made of dry igusa, which is like straw.
Many apartments still have tatami. We use as bedroom.
Before you lay bed on tatami,
you must lay moisture sheet to prevent mold growing.
It's so delicate.
You must never walk on top with shoes,
put heavy furniture,
or spillu,
or it become DESTROY.
If you spill on tatami like soy sauce or Kohii [coffee],
you must immediately absorb with flour to prevento stainingu.
Then, vacuum!
It's BERI EFFECTIBU!
Step 2.
Haido your stain by taaning your tatami upside down.
Step 3.
Gibu ap. (Give up.)
Congraturation!
You ruin tatami foreba! (forever!)
Now you know basic apaato set-appu. (set-up)
In next guide,
I will teach you how to put up products for kitchen.
[Rachel] Where are you going?! Bring it back!
It's gonna get stuck to your mouth.
Why are you licking it?! EWW!
He's licking it!
I have to use that!
Okay. Stay.
Ow.
[Jun] This is not how the real earthquake goes.
You don't fall down like that.
[Rachel] How many times do I have to do this? It hurts!
[Jun] Watch this easy guide, and I will tell you how.
[Rachel] I'll tell you HOW.
[Jun] Watch this easy guide, and I will tell you how.
[Rachel] I'll tell you HOW!
[Jun] I'll tell you how?
[Rachel] I'll tell you HOW!
[Jun] I honestly cannot tell the difference, so I don't know.
[Rachel] You're saying -- [Jun] I'll tell you how.
[Rachel] Higher.
[Jun] I'll tell you HOW!
[Rachel] Yeah.
( ͡◉ ͜ʖ ͡◉)