The Term “Baby Mama” originated in the late 1960s as a way for men to refer to the
mothers of their children, usually indicating they were unmarried and didn’t have much
of a relationship.
By the mid-90s the term had found a permanent place in Black American culture.
The term was often used in a derogatory context to look down on black single mothers.
Single black mothers have always been stigmatized, and looked at as irresponsible or incapable,
while the same hasn’t applied to men who get women pregnant and then abandon their
children.
The Baby Mama was cemented in pop culture through references in TV and music from outkasts’
“Ms. Jackson” to Fantasia’s “Baby mama”, a supportive anthem made to celebrate
them.
Having a Baby Momma is common for rappers, many of which have more than one.
It’s also common for rappers to have a black baby momma at first, and then once their career
takes off, get into relationships exclusively with white or lighter-skinned women, who are
the ones they often marry.
(Gold Digger, MGK, DaBaby) The idea of “Baby Momma culture” has been
a constant conversation in the black community.
Baby mama culture is glamorized by influencers, musicians, and celebrities and as a desirable
and common dynamic.
Celebrities like Ciara, Blac Chyna, and Lauren London are all baby mamas, and never married
their children’s fathers despite engagements.
Glamorizing being a baby mama has trickled down to the average young woman.
Women often call themselves their partner’s “baby mama” before even having a child,
implying they’re fine with having a baby before getting married.
By 2006, 70% of children born in Baltimore, a predominantly black city, were born out
of wedlock.
Many say Baby Mama Culture teaches black women to accept less from their partners, and do
wife duties without having wife privileges.
Motherhood is almost always a lifelong commitment for women, while that’s not always the case
with fatherhood.
It’s easier for men to ditch the responsibility of being a father without the commitment of
marriage.
The negative stereotype of being a baby mama is put on black women more than others.
Marriages have been on the steady decline with 60% less women being married now than
in the 70s.
More women can support themselves without husbands, which might in part explain the
decrease.
Only 26% of black women in the US are married, compared to 56% of Asian women, 51% of white
women, and 43% of Hispanic women.
The higher marriage statistics show that women who have children before marriage are still
likely to get married at some point, unless they’re black women.
Black women are more likely to remain in the trap of single motherhood and therefore the
stereotype of being a baby mama is mostly placed on them.
Like most things that come from black culture or AAVE, the term “baby mama” is often
taken out of context and used in a joking appropriative sort of way, especially by white
women.
While black baby mamas are criticised, white baby mamas are seen as independent women who
won’t settle for a bad relationship, or too excited to start their families to wait
for marriage.
White “baby mommas” are often seen as “unmarried by choice”, and taking an alternative
approach to relationships and parenting.
The majority of white women who claim the term baby mama are actually in committed relationships,
which doesn’t fit the original definition of a baby mama.
Even On tiktok, the tag baby mama is filled mostly with white, upper middle class women
and their partners are often present.
They have homes together, and intend to build their lives together.
they just aren’t married… yet.
This is a far cry from how being a baby mama is applied to black women, where it implies
a lack of support, stability, and commitment.
Now that more and more white women are becoming unwed mothers, it’s become trendy and acceptable
for them, and is a representation of their independence and knowing their self-worth.
The most successful baby mama’s are probably the Kardashians.
Kim Kardashian is the only one out of the sisters who was ever married to her child’s
father, and her daughter North had already been born when Kim married Kanye.
Kourtney Kardashian famously never wanted to marry the father of her kids, Scott Disick,
because of his alcoholism and cheating.
Kourtney was considered smart for this, and her decisionmaking was rarely questioned despite
her having multiple children with a man who struggled to be sober.
Despite this, Scott and Kourtney’s relationship was considered “goals”, and there’s
a lot of people still think Scott and kourtney are endgame.
Since Kourtney could easily provide for her kids on her own, marriage to scott only had
to happen if Kourtney wanted it.
People pushed for kourtney and scott’s marriage not out of concern that kourtney was a baby
mama, but to fulfill their romanticization of kourtney and scott’s relationship.
After only 8 months of dating, Kanye west announced Kim Kardashian’s first pregnancy
at a New Year’s Eve Party.
He called kim his baby momma in a loving and celebratory way rather than in the derogatory
way that’s associated with black women.
With kanye’s successful rap career and kim’s growing mogul status, the pregnancy was seen
as two icons combining their empires.
Kardashian eventually married West, but the two have since separated after a relatively
short marriage, making Kim a single mother.
Khloe Kardahsian has a daughter with NBA playerTristan Thompson and all signs point to Tristan never
having any interest in marrying Khloe, or committing to her at all.
Though she’s definitely been criticized for her choice of baby daddy, Khloe was still
able to angle herself as the wronged mother who was forced to be a baby mama, and was
keeping her head held high for her child.
People held sympathy for Khloe because was mercilessly cheated on, and more attention
was always put on tristan’s poor decision making rather than Khloes own.
Kylie Jenner shocked the world in 2018 by revealing she’d given birth to her daughter
Stormi very early into her relationship with rapper Travis Scott.
Scott claimed he would marry Kylie, but that never happened.
The pair broke up in October of 2019, but continued to co-parent Stormi.
Their relationship has been questionable for the past 2 years, and Travis has been accused
of cheating multiple times.
Kylie announced her second pregnancy with Scott in September of 2021.
This time, the two didn’t announce any plans to marry.
It’s rather unclear whether Travis and Kylie are in a committed relationship, as their
answer always seems to change.
The Kardashians have worked hard to rebrand what it means to be a baby mama.
If they were black, their situations wouldn’t be idealized.
The kardashians have had to acknowledge their status of unwed mothers, but repackage it
in a way that makes it look impressive, attractive, and intentional.
After giving birth, Kylie claimed she knew she’d always be a young mother and like
motherhood was her main dream as a child.
Writing this narrative for herself paints Kylie’s primary goal as being a mother-
not on having a family or being married- therefore her being a single mother is just fine.
In a scrapped feature for W Magazine, Kylie’s brand of motherhood, aka being unwed with
two children, has been spun as her being a modern businesswoman, and therefore not in
need of a traditional marriage.
The Kardashian-Jenner brand of being a baby mama is acceptable, even glamorous because
these women are millionaires.
There’s no threat of them not being able to support their children, or that they’re
“trapping” their baby daddy’s for child support money, a common stereotype of black
single mothers.
Their version of baby momma is far from the original meaning of the term, which implied
a woman who was struggling financially, or was not on coparenting terms with the child’s
father.
They throw around the word Baby-Momma like it’s some trendy thing, like all their other
uses of black culture.
The Karjeners can’t get away from the fact that they’re single mothers, but they can
make it fashionable and use their white privilege to avoid being criticized for it.
Singer Grimes was celebrated for her smart financial choice after having a baby with
billionaire Elon musk.
The relationship never resulted in a marriagee.
Still, for some reason people continued to wrongly assume they were married.
Grime’s was praised for becoming an unwed mother to a billionaire, and then praised
again when they broke up and she became a single mother.
There was no talk that grimes was irresponsible for choosing to have a child with a man who
wasn’t interested in marriage and didn’t have a great track record with previous wives
and girlfriends.
When she’s not being referred to as Elon Musk’s wife, Grimes is often called his
baby mama, but it’s always in a praising way rather than the derogatory or hurtful
way that’s used toward black women The new idea of what it means to be a baby
mama invalidates the struggle of black single mothers.
It rebrands being a baby mama in a way that celebrates white women for managing a career
and child on her own, putting a feminist girl power spin on being a single mother, when
black women are berated for it.
This is why Kylie Jenner can be called the representation of modern motherhood, while
Ciara sparks a conversation on how women don’t know their worth.
Both were successful women in their own right, having children by a well-known rapper.
Ciara was also much further into adulthood when she had her baby with future.
There’s nothing wrong with being a baby mama, but there's something very wrong with
white women being able to appropriate and make a brand off a title that black women
are degraded for.
For every Kardashian, Jenner, and Jolie being praised for being a devoted single mother,
the same praise should be extended to the single mothers who aren’t white, wealthy
and well-known, as their motherhood isn’t any less worthy of celebration.
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