i'll admit this first i'm not an expert on anxiety while i do get stressed occasionally i don't
suffer from anxiety in any chronic way however i recently read a book about cognitive behavioral
therapy or cbt and found some mindset techniques useful for dealing with my own household stress
such as sharing my creative work my creative work i've put my heart and soul into it and the thought
of someone disliking it tears me apart especially if i'm awaiting feedback from someone i respect
the reason for anxiety is because back in the cave people days
you need to be ready in case a saber-tooth tiger jumps out of the bush and attacks you
in that situation anxiety raises your heart rate heightens your senses and speeds up your breathing
to help you stay alert today anxiety is still useful when you're caught in tiger territory
however it's not that useful when you're sitting safely at home contemplating publishing your work
while the triggers are different the reaction within you is much the same
in the moments before during or after you've shared your creative work you may feel your
body firing up preparing yourself for danger but there's no real danger yes there is a
possibility that your work will be negatively received but it's not a tiger you'll survive
these types of false alarm can cause you to panic pull back and hide your work from the
world to do that is a disservice to yourself and the world you're preventing yourself from growth
both personally and in your craft and you're robbing an audience of a chance to discover you
okay so here we are anxiety is a real barrier yet with patience practice in the right frame of mind
you can overcome it by countering those reactive thoughts that trigger anxiety
which is what cbt is all about there are two types of reactive thoughts first are the thoughts you
have when you jump to conclusions they will all hate my work they will laugh in my face
they will make fun of me to their friends someone will hate a passage and i'll get cancelled
these types of thoughts lead you to the worst case scenarios catastrophes the likelihood of
someone reading your work and reacting in such a way is unlikely can it happen yes it's possible
but it's equally likely that they'll love your work congratulate you and share it positively
in either case the reaction of others is not something you can control accept it once you
put it out there it's out of your hands to combat the negative thoughts remind yourself that you're
merely jumping to an unlikely conclusion you'll feel pressured to hide your work but hang on to it
push through and share it submit it publish it the more you practice going through this process
of sticking with it the less scary it will feel especially when you see nobody's laughing at you
another thought that may flash in your mind and cause panic is
that of misplaced responsibility these thoughts cause guilty feelings about what you've created
my career would be more successful if i wasn't working on this novel
i'd have better relationship with my friends if they didn't think i was going to write about them
i should have been taking care of my family instead of writing even though they are fine
i know they are resentful this type of thinking starts in childhood when parents or other adults
blame or shame you for unrealistic expectations statements like raising you is the reason we're
poor may have caused you to feel that the unhappiness or displeasure of others is your
fault that can certainly induce anxiety later in life and halt you from sharing or pursuing your
creativity much like how you handle thoughts where you jump to conclusion to counter your thoughts
on misplaced responsibility you must accept that other people's expectations of your work
is their business not yours then acknowledge that your writing is something you do for yourself
it's not harming anyone it's done in your own well-deserved time and it's an expression of who
you are there's no pressure it doesn't have to win the nobel prize spark a revolution or cure cancer
to be meaningful should you need to speak to those you care about or those who are dependent on you
and explain how much writing means they'd likely support that or at least you would have started
a conversation to build a healthier relationship know that even if your boss confronts you about
your personal projects you could show him your performance report or if your family is in need
you could take a break from what you're doing to help them but they're fine everyone is fine
all these issues are thoughts and are not real if they become real you'll deal with it then
dealing with anxiety takes time and if you're feeling very overwhelmed a professional like a
clinical counselor can really help with that being said i encourage you to keep creating
for the love of it even when faced with the fear and stress of sharing your work understanding the
sudden thoughts that trigger your anxiety is the first step to countering them at any stage where
you find yourself jumping to conclusions or taking on misplaced responsibilities stop breathe deeply
accept that you're only in control yourself counter the unrealistic expectations
and push through it might never be easy but it'll get easier good luck thank you for watching
my name is elliot i make videos about writing and the creative process if that interests you
don't forget to subscribe and for more videos like this one check out this playlist right here
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