The comic world is littered with characters possessing various god-like abilities.
But for every hero or villain with powers like these, there are characters who couldn't
even receive the short end of the stick without getting a splinter.
Here's a look at some of the most useless super powers.
Spot
A Spider-Man villain with the ability to create tiny inter-dimensional doorways from the spots
on his body, Spot uses these doorways to do things like confuse Spider-Man into punching
himself in the face, which is hilarious, come on now.
However, while the randomness of his spots does have the benefit of confusing Spider-man's
Spidey-sense, his power is otherwise useless in any kind of fight...since he's just a normal
guy.
And a normal guy punching Thor or Captain America is going to do exactly nothing.
"Whoa, big guy."
Friendly Fire
A DC hero wannabe who fought alongside a team of good guys known as Section 8, Friendly
Fire had the ability to shoot powerful concussive laser blasts from his fist, strong enough
to blow someone's head clean off.
This sounds really impressive, except for the fact that his name was all too fitting,
because his powers only seemed to work on his friends.
And himself, which we learned when he accidentally blew his own head off.
Man down!
Bailey Hoskins
Literally described as the worst X-Man ever, poor Bailey Hoskins is a mutant with the ability
to detonate his body at will.
One problem, though: he doesn't have the ability to actually survive his own explosion.
Which means if he ever uses his power, he'll just wipe himself out of existence.
Professor X feels so bad for Hoskins, he gives him a suit of power-armor so he can actually
help out during fights… and presumably to stop him from, like, blowing up the Empire
State Building or something.
Whoops!
The Wall
A regular kid, Joshua Waldemeyer was laying bricks one day — y'know, totally normal
stuff that kids do — when a freak accident caused him to fuse with a wall.
He then went on a confused rampage, battling Spider-Man with his wall-like powers at a
baseball game.
"Well, if it isn't the wall-crawling creep.
Here's one wall you'll never crawl you red and blue buffoon!"
Spidey finally defeated him by… well, actually, they both just got kicked out of the stadium
by Morgan Freeman.
"Lucky I didn't slap him with a $50 fine!
I can be pretty stupid when I wanna be!"
Considering it was Mets game, they were probably the lucky ones.
Ten-Eyed Man
This guy is a Batman villain with secret eyeballs hidden in his fingertips.
In real life, this would make Ten-Eyed Man a wreck of a human being who only knew how
to communicate via screaming.
In comics, however, it makes him powerful enough to square off against a man who has
a file in his desk detailing how to kill Superman.
Hint: it involves sinks.
To be clear, Ten-Eyed Man has no superpowers beyond having 10 eyes, all of which are located
on his fingertips.
Hell, he doesn't even have regular eyes to back up these extra eyes, because he was blinded
in an explosion.
Despite this, Ten-Eyed Man decided to inexplicably become a supervillain and antagonize Batman,
and he even managed to beat the Dark Knight once despite the fact that he has to blind
himself to throw a punch.
Bet you didn't see that coming...
Wraith
Invisibility should be a cool power.
But for the sad sack known as Wraith, it's just another way to get beat up.
See, his mutant powers only partially manifested themselves, causing only his skin to become
invisible, something he has no control over.
Naturally, a terrified mob nearly pummeled him to death before the X-Men intervened,
because honestly.
That's just gross.
Arm Fall Off Boy and the Legion of Substitute Heroes
In the far future, the Legion of Superheroes protects the known universe from all threats
with their incredible powers.
And then there's the Legion of Substitute Heroes, which is made up of all the rejects
who tried out for the real team but didn't make the cut because their powers were stupid.
Perhaps the most infamous of the substitute heroes is Arm Fall Off Boy, who has the power
to detach his own arm and then beat people with it.
He's joined the luminaries such as Color Kid, who can change the color of any object, and
Infectious Lass, who can spontaneously generate infectious diseases, sometimes by accident.
Hey, not everyone can be Wonder Woman.
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