Heya playa do you sometimes sit quietly by yourself and wonder am I gonna be single and
alone forever?
I know that feeling can be scary so I want to share some tips on how to overcome it.
And after that I'll share some tips on how to start making progress toward your first
relationship.
So stay tuned because that's coming up right after this.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
There's a few different types of single people out there that feel like they'll be forever
alone.
For example there's the type of people who feel like they've never been able to make
a connection with anyone.
There's the people who get into relationships, break up and then stay single for an insanely
long amount of time thinking that's it this is my fate.
And there are the type of people who try their best to ask someone out but fail each time
and they don't know why.
Regardless of whatever one you are, there's a high chance you spend a lot of time in your
head thinking well, this is my fate, I'm going to be single for the rest of my life.
As we get older we come to believe that we can only be happy by being in a relationship,
that somehow by being single we're doing something wrong.
You can be happy all by yourself, now I know you know that but the thing is it's a matter
of putting it into practice before you get into a relationship.
So what I want you to do is to stop everything else that you're doing right now except watching
this video, take a deep breath with me, come on let's do this, and focus on your breath
as you breathe out.
Whenever you find yourself overwhelmed by the idea of being alone forever bring yourself
back to the present moment by breathing.
Oftentimes we let our minds wander into what ifs.
What if I never find someone?
What if I should have never broke up with them?
What if every single person I talk to is going to reject me?
But all of those moments have either past or have yet to happen which means in the present
they don't exist.
And where you put your mental energy is essential, knowing that you have control over the present
moment means that your mind isn't going to wander into what ifs and your focus is on
right now.
So how do you work towards not being single anymore?
Well the one thing I would suggest is to think about what you can offer someone else in a
relationship.
You may be thinking to yourself I want someone who is good looking and smart and funny and
awesome to hang out with but you have to remember that those are qualities that you should bring
to the table for them as well.
Sometimes we hope for someone to just fall into our lap, that the right person will just
"appear" at the right time.
And that is partially true but you'll never get heass on a coin toss if you don't flip
it, so make sure to be interacting with as many people as possible and bringing those
positive values forward.
If you give yourself such a limited range of people to interact with your going to make
that pool so small that the odds of you finding someone you connect with will be slim.
And what a lot of people do is they limit themselves only to people that they have an
instant and immediate physical attraction to which totally negates all the other qualities
about a persons.
Relationships should be built on attraction and connection.
So if you spend a lot of time chasing after someone that's hot as hell but they end up
being boring, well then you just wasted your time.
Plus as you spend more time around people and you get to know them better you'll begin
to see them in a more attractive light.
And if you got some things in common that's another bonus for you, but keep in mind you're
not going to have something in common with everyone that you meet.
Not having a lot in common is not a deal-breaker, in fact it's actually a good thing because
it gives you both room to learn about each others hobbies and to discover what the other
person's passion is.
So what if your situation is that you just keep getting rejected or you just haven't
found someone that can give you a fair shot?
In a situation like that it's important to analyze your own behaviors and steps to see
what can be improved.
For example, let's say you've asked out 10 girls in your school, you've told each and
every single one of them how you feel about them and you asked them out directly by saying,
"will you go out with me?"
only to be met each time with a resounding "no".
Most guys will get frustrated and feel like it's the fault of the girl here, chances are
your approach needs work.
Instead of telling her how you feel, try showing her how you feel by joking around with her,
teasing her or just trying to be playful and affectionate.
In some cases you might be creeping that person out while in others, maybe it's your nervousness
that's showing.
Try to analyze your behaviors and see where you're messing up so you can change it.
What do you think though?
Are you afraid that you're gonna be single forever?
Leave your comment below and we'll talk about it.
One more key thing to remember if you're single and you want to eventually be in a relationship
is that changing yourself is very different from growing into new ideas.
If you end up changing yourself just so that someone can accept you, I think that's the
wrong road to take.
But if you end up growing into new ideas that help you be a better person, that's definitely
where you should head.
Sometimes when people are single they're desperate and they'll do anything to win someone over.
So make sure to be smart about it.
After all, the more you know, the more you grow, so always be learning.
So when a person you can connect with comes along, you can change your status from single
to in a relationship.
As always guys, love and peace.
Hey thanks for watching.
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