- I gotta base it off the shoes.
So you either got the bite me
or you got the public property, but which one?
Those mean you're gonna like beat some ass.
- Yeah I'm gonna curb stomp you after.
- Fuck.
- He likes it, (laughter)
if you guys can't see his eyes, he likes that.
(soft music)
- [Host] Hello.
- Hi.
- [Host] Will you introduce yourself?
- I'm Patty Valentine, I'm a tattoo artist.
- My name is Chris, I am a tattoo artist.
- [Host] How long have you been a tattoo artist?
- Four years.
- [Host] Why do we get tattoos?
- It grounds people,
it helps them feel closer to their identity.
- Everybody gets tattooed for different reasons
or no reason at all.
Like for me personally, none of my tattoos mean anything.
- There's eight tattoos in there,
I want you to flip through them and tell me what you see.
- So, the first one is public property.
Well it's gotta be some kind of sexual thing right?
- It's probably a joke, tattoo either somebody lost a bet
or you might've had a couple of drinks.
- There's a pinata and they're sitting
and it's like they're on the toilet.
It seems like that's an inside joke.
- I don't even know what it is.
- [Host] That's a rat.
- Oh, okay, I see it.
- So cute, I love rats, they're like tiny dogs.
- This seems like a sentimental one maybe,
it's a place from their childhood.
- The next one is definitely on an inner lip.
I think like the person who would get this
would be somebody who is a little bit more playful.
- Inner lip tattoos is nine times out of ten
like pretty irreverent.
You'll get like bite me or fuck is a popular one.
- We have a dog that's also a squid.
- A cat opus, it's adorable.
I mean the person that has it, likes whimsical things.
- That's pretty cute, I like that.
- This one is a cross with Christine,
with what I'm assuming is are birth date and death date.
- It's '64 to '03.
So that's probably someone's parent or something.
- And then the last one looks like
either it's like some kind of native or Aztec dancer.
I'm gonna say that this is a heritage tattoo.
- [Host] Let's go ahead and bring the first person in.
- Okay.
- How many tattoos you got?
- One.
- Does it have meaning to you?
- A lot of meaning.
- Okay.
- A double meaning.
- Double meaning?
- By accident.
- Fuck, this just keeps getting harder, shit.
(laughter)
- What do your friends have to say about you?
- Oh God, the first word
that comes to their mind is I'm stoned.
- All right, so I'm gonna go with like
one of the whimsical ones for this.
I guess I'll just go with the cat octopus.
Obviously something that you probably think of
when you're high.
- I think you have the memorial tattoo.
My parents were born in 1964,
you seem to be kind of in the same age range as my parents.
- [Host] You're saying Henry is old.
- Yeah.
- You're older than I am.
(laughter)
- Hi.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
I gotta base it off the shoes,
so you either got the bite me
or your got the public property, but which one?
Those mean you're gonna like beat some ass.
- Yeah I'm gonna curb stomp you after.
- Fuck, that's fucking scary.
- He likes it, (laughter)
if you guys can't see his eyes,
he likes that, all right.
(laughter)
- You got a bite me in your inner lip.
- Are you the bite me?
Maybe, you just had a wild night.
Maybe it was your friend that suggested it
and you were just like let's do it.
- Do people generally tend to like your tattoo?
- I would say yes.
- Okay, you're squid cat.
- Why is the squid cat mine?
- I love this tattoo and everyone should love this tattoo.
So is all your people love the tattoo,
it should be the squid cat.
- You just look like a nice guy,
maybe family would be really important to you.
I think the most family oriented tattoo here
is the Christine tattoo, so I'll go with that one.
- Kinda of artsy person?
- [Host] What do you have on there that feels artsy?
- What calls to me is the rat.
- Why the rat?
- 'cause it's kinda sketchy and just weird,
which is a good thing, I mean that in a good way.
(laughter)
So I'm gonna go with the the sketchy, tribal rat.
- So you got the weed necklace,
you got the A1 earrings, you got the space buns,
I think that you have the tattoo with the pinata.
- Why?
- Because it's funny.
- That's true.
- You seem like you got a sense of humor,
I think I'm right.
(laughter)
- What kinda things are you into doing?
- I've actually been building my portfolio
to try and become a tattoo artist.
- Oh no shit, cool.
I'm gonna go with public property.
- Why?
- Because you're an artist and artists are freaks.
And I can say that because I'm an artist, okay?
- How recently did you get this tattoo?
- It like last year.
- What was your mental state like, like last year?
- So I was finishing grad school and did not have a job,
and I was very broke.
So it was like, I need a break.
- If you're a grad student with low funding,
I'm gonna go with the lettering
because it costs less.
- I'm gonna go with the dog squid.
It's that or the native spirit.
- Oh okay.
- Are you Native American?
- I'm not Native American.
- The dog squid would make more sense then.
- Carmen, where are like your ancestors from?
- Well on my father's side they're French
and my mother's side is Mexican.
- I will go with the warrior tattoo.
- How bad did this tattoo hurt
and how long did it take?
- About three hours.
- Didn't hurt so bad but I have a high pain tolerance.
- Okay.
So I'll be honest with you I got a tattoo
and on that information this cross
didn't take three fucking hours.
So, I mean if it did, then that's ridiculous.
So I gotta go with the Aztec thing.
- Okay.
- So the last tattoo that I have
is this Native American spirit.
Are you native?
- No.
- Okay, so I think I missed the mark.
- I only have one left. So, it's the woman
on the toilet with the pinata.
Honestly, like when you're heavily tattooed
it like the chances of you having something
like totally ridiculous is a lot higher
than somebody who only has like one or two tattoos.
- You a spiritual person?
- No.
- Well, shit!
I only got one left, that's a cross.
Yeah, so what else should I ask?
'cause that means she obviously doesn't have this.
(laughter)
- [Host] Now they're going to come back in
and they're gonna reveal to you if you got them right.
- Hi.
I picked the memorial tattoo.
Did I get it right?
- No.
- Which one is it?
- Public property.
- Damn.
(laughs)
- Damn it.
- Where is it on your body?
- Right here.
- Really?
Okay and why did you get that?
- Everyone gets a little piece of my heart,
and when I give it to them
I would be having an expectation
of how they need to have, handle my heart.
Putting this on there releases that expectation.
Everyone has the first thought
that it has to do with I'm public property,
I'm for everybody's use.
That was like oops, I shoulda thought that through,
it's too late.
Old guy has a fucking weird tattoo.
- It's great, I love it.
- You got me right, I am the bite me.
- Yes.
When did you get it?
- I got it when I was 19, so 11 years ago.
- Why did you get the bite me on the inner lip?
- I was just like young, dumb and full of cum
and I just thought I was fucking awesome.
Well, I'm kind of like different now.
Like I have two kids and a great job and all of that.
I can still think back and remember that part of myself
that's impulsive and slutty,
which is all still there.
- Fuck yeah.
- But it has to be hidden a little you know.
- Right.
- So you guessed the squid cat, why again?
- Because it's really adorable.
- Did I get it right?
- You did not get it right.
- Fuck.
- So you didn't.
I have the cross on my arm for my mom.
- Okay.
- Did you get this tattoo right away
after your mom's passing?
- No cause I was only nine when she passed away.
- Oh shit.
- I got it when I turned 18,
but I always knew as a teenager growing up
I wanted to get a tattoo in remembrance for my mom.
- I'm sorry for your loss.
- All right, thank you,
- Yeah great to meet you.
- It was nice meeting you.
- Did I get it right?
- No.
- No!
Which one do you have?
- I have the rat.
- Oh cool.
- So what's the meaning of this tattoo?
- I used to breed rats, she was one of my momma's.
She passed away early on after having hers
and so I was like, screw it I'm going, I'm getting a tattoo.
I don't know exactly what,
but I know I want her prints.
And her paw prints are in between the tail
and the butt if you couldn't tell.
- Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I see that, yeah.
- Okay, I guessed yours wrong,
I said it was the public property one.
- What would be your second guess for me?
- The cat squid one.
- Does this have any significance for you?
- Yeah, so last year my girlfriend was gonna move
and so we just wanted to get tattoos before she moved.
She did not move but that was like
an experience to do together.
- So was I correct?
- No.
- Okay, what do you have?
- The landscape piece.
- The landscape, okay.
- Is it a sentimental place to you?
- It's more symbolic than anything.
So it's a specific landscape piece from Namibia,
I'm a person of mixed heritage.
It's one of the few places that my family
has been able to find small markers.
- I hope that you get to go one day.
- Yeah, yeah me too.
- So I gave you the warrior tattoo.
- You did.
- And which one do you have?
- It's the warrior tattoo.
- Yeah.
- Aztec, yes you were right on.
- Aztec warrior princess over here.
- Yeah.
- What's the story behind the tattoo?
- So this is it right here.
The Aztec warrior is for my grandfather.
He was a professor at the University of Washington,
an anthropologist and he was a Mexican-American man.
So he would always give me these Aztec books growing up
to learn about the culture.
People wouldn't assume that that tattoo is mine,
because I'm very white passing and I'm half Mexican.
So it was important for me to pay tribute to that.
- I'm half Egyptian and understand kind of getting
seen as a white person,
but having a cultural upbringing,
so it's definitely a confusing place to be.
- All right so I gave you the cross,
but my wild guess was the bite me.
- Right, both of those are wrong.
- Damn!
- Yeah.
It's a portrait of me taking a shit into a pinata.
It's called party popper.
- Fuck yeah dude (laughter)
- Me and my husband got to exchange secret tattoos
and this one was mine.
- What was the surprise tattoo you gave your husband?
- It was a realistic baby fetus
doing a skateboarding trick on his stomach.
- Is he mad at you for making him get that?
- No, no, no we laugh about it all the time.
- That's fun, that's sweet, I love it.
Yeah it's better than a ring I'd say.
- [Host] How was that?
- As you see, never judge a book by its cover
cause you never know
what the fuck people have tattooed on 'em.
- [Host] Have you ever had
to like refuse service to someone?
- Absolutely, there's times
where I don't think I could meet their expectations.
I don't think that we would work well together.
- If an 18 year old kid wants to come in
and get their fucking face tattooed,
you know, like I'm gonna be like no.
You don't know what you're gonna be doing in 10 years.
- [Host] Dope, awesome.
Thank you, Chris.
- Yeah.
(clapping)
Nice one thank you.