- A boner feels like there's a little monster in your pants.
- Or a big monster.
- [Woman] What does having a boner feel like?
- [Short Guy] It feels like you can't focus
on anything else except what you
need to do to get rid of that boner.
- I guess it's like a permanently flexed muscle,
just like tight (pausing) it's just tight.
- It feels like you could just blast through a wall.
- It's like when the beat drops on a Dubstep song,
you know it's like, "Dong, Dong...Boom!"
Hands go up! - Yeah, I'm hard!
- [Woman] How often do you actually get boners?
- [Tall Guy] You get that, you're asleep, so you have no
idea how many boners you're having, probably a hundred.
- An after lunch "chubby", do you get those?
- Just thinking about lunch gives me a boner.
- Six to eight total?
- That feels high.
- Ten times a day?
- You get ten boners a day?
I get like, four, if I'm lucky.
- You get home after work, you could
have five, I could have twenty.
- Oh, about every ten minutes.
- That's alot of boners man, you must
be light of head all the time--
- Aw, man I can't breathe.
- [Woman] How do you deal with getting
erections while wearing gym shorts?
- [Voiceover] Oh, my hands are in my pockets
and I'm also keeping my hands this far
away from my thighs as possible.
- In school if they're holding their binders,
or their notebook, - Yep.
backpack, they definitely have a boner.
- Have your hands on your lap, like this.
- A lot of professional sitting.
- Take your penis, point it towards your belly button--
- Bend, bring it up-- - Yep.
- Flip it up into the waistband--
- Boom, you got a solution.
- Well, you're still gonna have like, a line.
- Pull your sweatshirt down a little bit,
no one will ever see.
- Or, you just own it.
- [Woman] What are guys thinking when they send dick pics?
- I've never sent a dick pic.
- Now, are we talking, "unsolicited dick pics"?
- I have sent a dick pic before.
- I think guys are thinking that they'll
get pictures back if they send one.
I think that some girls it does turn them on.
- Wait, is the lighting right?
- Yeah, that's true, you wanna get the proper angle.
- They want that person on the other
end to do something with it.
- Has that ever worked for anyone?
- It works for me actually-- - Unsolicited dick pics?
I'm open to them.
- Most of the time it's a good reaction.
- I would be terrified to send a dick pic.
What if I don't have a nice dick?
- Maybe it's like low self-esteem,
like my penis is disgusting, okay?
- But, if somebody's like, "Come on, come on",
and you're like, "Alright, this could be fun,
"I can be sexy too".
- I just wanna feel sexy, I think that's what it's about.
- And, they want you to send them back.
- [Woman] What do you think about to get rid of an erection?
- [Short Guy] Tigers, dump trucks, baseball--
- Math problems.
- Errands I have to run.
- Grandma in the shower, but that's ageist I guess.
- Grocery shopping.
- I think about animals.
- Like a boulder on some dirt with ants on it.
- Construction.
- And, there's like the old lady dancing around.
and like a midget riding a bike. It relaxes me.
- Maybe focus on almost like, choke-holding your boner?
- I'm like, "Hold your breath, okay you're almost there,
keep it longer, keep it longer",
and then everything is like--
- [Voiceover] Haven't had one yet today, so--
- [Voiceover] That's surprising actually.
- That I haven't had a boner yet?
- Yeah.
- Well, I mean since I've been to work.
- [Voiceover] There's nothing coy about a penis, you know?
It's either just there, or it's not.
- It's just like, "Look at my pen"...like voom.