Hello there we are back, another week of Ask Mark, and for those of you who don't know
who the hell I am, this is the weekly segment where I come online and I answer the questions
that you guys have posted in my amazing subscribers.
I pick a few each and every week and I go, let's answer these.
Let's answer these in-person because I think that everyone will get benefit from knowing
the answers to these.
So just before we get started guys, thank you so much to everyone who tuned into the
live stream last week.
We had so much fun on Valentine's day, went over three hours in the end we've got like
a good 20 or 30 questions answered.
So really, really cool.
We're going to do another one not too far in the future, so make sure you keep your
ears peeled for that.
Going to do another large stream at some point soon.
So just keep your ears peeled, keep watching the videos and you'll know when that is available.
Guys, thanks so much for getting behind the channel on the last, especially the last couple
of weeks, we've had a whole bunch of new subscribers come online.
So it's great to have you post your questions.
I answer all of them, every single one.
So make sure you post them, get involved with the channel.
I love, love, love having you guys on here and it just ah, yeah, it honestly, it just
warms my heart the way you guys have been getting involved with it and subscribing to
it.
So we've got a few really cool questions today, so let's get straight into them.
And the first one is from Jappy JJ and Jappy JJ says, Hey Mark, uh, I'm a new subie.
Great to have you Jackie.
I love your advice and how genuine you're seem.
Hope you do one of these again.
Oh, thank you.
So I was wondering, since you always say that sex is not the best thing you have to offer
a guy.
Very true.
If my decision to wait till marriage will make dating difficult?
If so, what can I do to remedy that?
And how do you suggest I bring it up to the guy that I'm dating?
Thanks in advance.
Okay.
Jappy because you're absolutely right.
Sex is never the best thing that you have to offer a guy.
It's never, never, never.
And if you believe that, do not ever believe that no one on this channel should be believing
that, uh, after all my ranting about it, um, but sex is an important part of a monogamous
relationship and it's, it's something that man, that the sexual validation, is something
that men do really value.
So the no sex before marriage is a more unusual mindset to go with it.
And that's, that's completely cool.
That's what you obviously believe for spiritual reasons or whatever it is.
The hard thing about no sex before marriage is that a lot of men just don't, it's just
not their thing.
Um, and a lot of women, it's not their thing either.
So for a lot of people, it's going to make you instantly incompatible with a really large
group of people.
So look, if this is your belief, 100% own it.
Absolutely do not do not uhm bend on that, stick to it.
If that's your belief, you should definitely go for it and that's something that you've
got to do for you.
But you've also got to understand that just like if someone wants to have kids and someone
doesn't, those two people could connect.
They could have a lot of chemistry, but ultimately they're incompatible because they want different
things and a lot of men are going to want that boyfriend benefit of sex and sex on tap
and that's not a unreasonable thing for those particular men.
It's just that they have a different belief to you.
So moving forward, you're going to have to understand that your pool will be smaller,
but as long as you know where to meet those topic guys, you know things like, a lot of
it comes from church, so things like church, those spiritual areas, those types of places.
As long as you have a source to meet those men and you're open about it, you can absolutely
meet someone who has the same belief.
biggest thing I'd say is make sure you tell guys.
So even, you know, you said when you tell guys first date.
Don't stuff around because no guy, it's not like, it's not like, Oh, I like Italian food
and you don't.
So okay, I think I can get over this.
Um, no sex before marriage is not something that guys are going to typically bend on this
for years and years because it's just for those particular men who don't resonate with
that, it's not going to be their belief.
So I would say be straight up, own it, be completely honest about it first date.
And you'll get through the ones who aren't that way and you'll spend more time with the
ones who go, yep, I knew from the beginning that this was her belief and I want to stick
around for that.
So hopefully that answered your question, Jappy.
Second question is a really good one.
Really good one.
And it comes from Aleeza, Aleeza Allecra, I hope I'm pronouncing that right.
Aleeza says, hi Mark.
Obviously I've had some exchange with you on another one of your videos.
I do remember talking to you, Aleeza.
Thank you for sending in your comments.
I'm wondering what your thoughts are on how some women seem to have this skill naturally.
Uh, she's referring to flirting by the way, this comment was on the how to flirt with
a guy video where Jermia does the demos.
Uh, I believe I do.
Yet, I'm wondering on what causes, what causes some women to have the skill naturally and
others need to be taught?
It's great question.
It's a great question.
Aleeza no one has a skill naturally.
But the thing is some women or men as well learn these extroverted style skills before
we even realize that they're skills.
So one of the kind of benefits of being an extrovert, as you typically learn all of these
social skills, great four grade six, grade eight, and before you even realize they're
skills, you're good at them.
Um, and you know, a lot of people go, Oh, I'm not, I'm not flirty.
I'm not a flirty person, so I'm not going to learn to flirt.
That's just ridiculous.
Flirting is just a skill, like any other skill.
I was an awful flirt, absolutely terrible.
And I learned it as a skill just by spending time around women and getting to meet women
and connect with women and really starting to enjoy my interactions with women.
So it's the same for any of these interpersonal skills.
Um, you know, as introverts generally are a little bit behind because we don't spend
as much time socializing through middle and high school.
And so those skills don't develop as quickly and you kind of wake up maybe when you're
20, 25, 30, and go, how are these women so natural and why do I suck at this?
And that's a completely normal reaction.
But it's just that those women were fortunate enough to get some of those skills before
we kind of even realized they were skills.
And you'll have other skills, you know, you'll have that independence thing, you'll have
other skills that introverts naturally get, which is things like, you know, being able
to reassure yourself and having a really good sort of center, different things.
And you'll have those.
And extroverts might have to learn those skills more.
So these are all just skills that we developed kind of throughout our early teenage years
and a lot of us don't develop necessarily the ones that we want because we're not thinking
about it at the time.
So once we're adults, we'd go and we developed the ones we want and flirting, best way to
do that is to just spend quality time around men that you like.
So quality time and I mean as friends as well, not necessarily dates or anything, but the
more you're around men, the more you're understanding the way men think and interact, the more you're
going to have playful, fun interactions with them and the more you're going to become a
flirty person.
So it's a skill that any of us can learn.
I've learned it.
You guys can learn it, you can learn it.
No, no excuses for all of us not to be a great flirt no matter how introverted we are.
Next question is really cool when it comes from Gloria and Gloria writes in my dilemma
is that I started talking to this guy from Tinder.
So we haven't met each other yet, cool and it's been a few weeks now.
We were supposed to meet a few days ago, but we hadn't made a full plan like the time and
where exactly to meet.
So yeah. Okay. Shifty plans.
I would try to ask him, but we weren't sure what was going on for the day we planned.
Okay.
The night before we were supposed to meet, I asked him what should we do, but he never
responded till the next day and said he had to work.
Okay.
So it's pretty useless of him.
He had found out he had to work the night I asked him, but he said he didn't have the
guts to tell me we've made plans.
So he doesn't have the guts on Tinder, on Tinder to send one message?
Uh, throughout the day, he kept saying he wished he didn't have work so he could meet
me, etc.
Okay.
Then later that night, I asked if he wanted to talk on the phone.
He ignored my question.
Just ended up sending me a random Snapchat video.
I just don't know how to handle the situation.
I feel still interested.
Gloria, he sounds frankly useless.
Like already. You're not even, never even met the dude
and he's already can't send you a text to say, um, I have to work tomorrow.
Didn't organize the times or the days before the day happened despite you clearly pushing
for it.
Um, and then he ignores your texts and when he's glued on the phone sends you a Snapchat.
Like, could you imagine this guy in a relationship?
It's, if he's already this useless?
No Gloria, there's, there's lots of guys out there who will do such a better job and who
will actually be wanting to plan and be wanting to make interactions and meetups with you
happen, so I would not be spending any more time wasted on this guy.
Yeah.
Uh, and the last comment is from Pandasan and I have to add this one in because it is
literally just the cutest comment.
You guys are gonna love this.
Uh, hello Mark.
I want to thank you for all the advice.
Uh, today I had my first date ever.
How cool is that?
Uh, I've been watching lots of videos and my date went good, I think at least.
Freaking awesome.
Uh, and I really tried keeping eye contact.
He looked away each time.
I guess it made him nervous.
Well thanks a lot.
Um, this is just so cool.
And look, eye contact is, depending on the fact that you're already doing this, you know,
I'm not sure how old you are, but uh, it sounds like it could be a little bit younger.
So the fact that you're already doing this is an amazing skill.
It is an amazing skill that is going to serve you for the rest of your life in connecting
with people.
Um, guys, never be afraid to go too much with eye contact or, or too much with, with really
any new skill you're trying to learn.
It's much easier to learn a new skill if you push it and push it like really hard and then
just dial back so that it's socially calibrated.
Than if you try and do a little bit at a time, it's a whole concept of like flooding in psychology
versus just a little steps.
It works a lot faster and a lot more effectively if you just do it quickly.
So yeah, like obviously make sure you're not staring him down intently during the entire
date.
Um, but the fact is if you're doing this eye contact and you're making an effort to connect
with people in this way, just by looking into their eyes, really connecting with them, that
is an incredible life skill Panda that will serve you literally for the rest of your life.
Eye contact is ultimately what eye contact is, is it's, it's being vulnerable because
when you connect with someone and you look into their eyes, you open yourself and you,
you see into each other's emotional realm that it's the most vulnerable.
You'll be interacting with someone.
So if you can, you know, what is confidence?
Confidence is the ability to be relaxed when you're vulnerable.
So if you can foster this skill of being relaxed, looking into someone's eyes, that is going
to give you incredible confidence meeting and connecting with people, not just men,
but everyone you meet throughout your life.
So guys, thanks so much for the comments for sending in.
You guys are amazing.
Thank you so much for getting involved in the channel.
Like I say, I do answer all of these so I answer all of them in text form, but pick
a few good ones every single week and I'd love to do yours this week.
So send in your best question and we'll pop it on Ask Mark next week.
Make sure to subscribe if you're not a subscriber yet.
Get involved we're, we're getting close to that goal of 10K subscribers, which is just
like blows my mind.
Seriously blows my mind.
But yeah, thank you guys so much for getting involved.
Hit like on the video.
Make sure you download the eBooks.
If you haven't already, they're in the description and if you do want to talk to me, don't forget,
you can always do that over Skype by booking in a session on the website makehimyours.com.au/coaching.
Guys, thank you so much for sending your questions and getting behind my channel.
Uh, I can't wait to talk to you in another week's time and we've got a couple more videos
coming out for you in the meantime.
I'll see you soon.