Heya playa, do you have a crush on someone that you are completely obsessed with?
You think about them night and day, they're always on your mind and you're
worried that you're not going to be able to focus on anything else?
Don't worry, in this video, I'm going to walk you through how to
stop obsessing over your crush and what you can do
to actually put things in perspective so you can take back control of your life.
Listen I've been there before.
I've done a number of videos on different girls that I was just obsessed with.
Girls that I would simp over and do anything just to get a morsel, a crumb,
a speck of attention from.
The problem is when all you could do is think about your crush,
everything else kind of gets pushed to the side and it's hard for you to focus on school,
work, your hobbies, your friends, you name it.
"Okay, chapter one. Gotta finish this book today and oh my god she just walked into
class she looks so beautiful today. No no no no focus, focus here. I gotta focus.
Look at her smile oh my god, she's so gorgeous. Come on I gotta get
through this book. Oh my god did she just smile at me? I think she smiled at me."
You know what let's break that spell,
the first thing I want you to focus on doing is demystifying your crush by talking to them.
The more you can have interactions with them by saying hi and bye,
starting conversations, learning about their hobbies and their interests,
the less you're going to stand in the background and just stare at them in awe.
Guys do this all the time with girls that they like.
They're like a deer in headlights.
Every time she appears they freeze.
They don't know how to act, they don't know what to say or what to do,
they just forget how to be human.
"Um hi are you."
"Oh hey um, I'm doing good how about you?"
"I'm doing good as well. Um so... do you like... stuff?"
I'm gonna link up a video over here which is gonna walk you through how to start that
initial conversation with your crush if you feel like that's the stage you're struggling with but
part of demystifying the space around them and pushing aside the smoke and mirrors
is to realize that they're a regular person just like you.
They have their own thoughts and feelings and experiences
and you can go from the obsession stage to the interaction stage just by talking to them more.
Just by introducing yourself.
Just by putting yourself in a place where you can have some interaction and conversation with them.
The second thing I want you to focus on here since we're talking about building
up your confidence and interacting with them is to start actively pursuing other people as well.
This is gonna help you stop obsessing over this one person.
You're gonna get over that oneitis because you're
gonna realize there are plenty of other people out there worth getting to know.
Now you might be thinking, why would I pursue other people when I like this
girl and I only want to be with her which sounds like a totally reasonable point
until you realize that you're coming in with an obsessive frame of mind.
Let's say your crush turns around and agrees to start
dating you in the state that you are in right now.
The you that gets tongue-tied around them and
sweats profusely and wonders if they're a big stink bomb.
The you that locks up and doesn't know how to make conversation because they're afraid
that your crush is going to think you're boring or weird or awkward or just not fun to be around.
If you feel like you're not in a cool
calm and collected place whenever you're around them, why would you ask them out now?
Why not prepare yourself and work on your flirting and conversation skills with other people?
Get to know other people so you can see their likes and dislikes.
You can get accustomed to kind of showing off your best self so that when you do finally pursue your
crush, the one that you're obsessed with, you're no longer going to see that as a barrier of entry.
You're no longer going to feel like all those things that held you back before
are still there because you've practiced and worked on them over time.
And the third thing I want to share here if you're super obsessed with your crush is to realize that
they may not actually live up to the perfect vision of themselves that you have in your mind.
You might be falling victim to the halo effect.
The halo effect is a phenomenon where we attribute positive qualities and attributes to people that
we consider good-looking regardless of what we know about their character or behaviors.
Two classic examples from the media are Jeremy Meeks and Casey Anthony.
Both really attractive people who did very bad things,
but people started to give them a pass simply because they're attractive and good-looking.
Now I'm not saying you're crush is a murderer but because you find them so attractive you
might just be overlooking anything that might be a red flag or just might not be
congruent or aligned with who you are as a person just because they're hot.
And these could be small things like them just never making time to respond to your messages,
just flat out mocking you and laughing at you in front of other people,
or just being downright rude to you.
Now you might take it in and feel really bad about
it but because you find them so attractive you just stay obsessed.
It's this turmoil, this inner battle that you face
with liking them but dealing with their bad behaviors that is just not cool.
So the only way for you to crush the halo effect is to
really take an introspective look at who they are.
Understand and study their character.
Investigate their principles, their beliefs, their values, everything that they bring to
the table beyond just their looks and the things that you're obsessed with.
And this is really hard to do because we don't want to see flaws in that
person and we do want to live with the reality that they are perfect.
But the truth is, they're not.
And you have to really start to discover that if you want to break that obsession.
What I'm sharing here might not sound easy to do but trust me they're necessary steps to take.
The best thing for you to do is to plant your feet in the ground.
To realize this is just a regular person.
To start building up those skills by flirting with other people,
getting out there, really discovering who you are and letting your confident self shine,
and not putting this person on a pedestal.
Remember they're just like you so you have no reason to fear them no matter how cool
or interesting or beautiful they may look.
What do you think though?
Do you feel like it's impossible for you to get over your obsession with your crush,
no matter what you do it's just never gonna happen?
Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it.
And what I want you to do is check out the videos over there on the side where I'm
gonna break down more of this obsession and oneitis you may be struggling with.
I'm gonna share a few more tips that might actually help you out.
On that note, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.