- New year.
Same me.
I've made no attempt to change anything about myself.
And I look like a gray power ranger, so that's good.
Hi everyone, welcome back.
This is the fourth episode of Slightly Kosher.
I already hate how I look.
That's okay.
I was so excited that you guys were cooking along with me
over the holidays.
Thank you so much for sending me pictures
of brisket and latkes,
and nobody made jelly donuts, but that's okay.
I forgive you all, I'm a very forgiving spirit.
Today, we are making our first non holiday specific food,
and that is falafel.
It's not something that a lot of people make at home.
I probably have gone out to get it out at a street car
or a fast food restaurant or something like that.
I actually have family who had a falafel restaurant,
so that's why we're making it at home.
I can show you it's really not that hard.
I say this, like I've done it before.
I've not.
We're converting a restaurant recipe
into a home version today.
Either way, I think it's going to be great
and warm and crispy and delicious.
So I'm excited to show you, welcome back.
Let's (beep) go.
Part of the reason falafel is so popular
across the middle East, particularly in Israel,
is because there's no meat.
So it's kind of like a pareve food
for those who don't know,
which I'm going to assume is about 98 percent of you.
Pareve is a food that does not have meat or dairy in it,
which means if you are super observant
of the laws of Kashrut.
Yeah, I came into 2021 knowing my (beep).
I hope you're not surprised.
If you are super observant and you keep a kosher household,
you can eat falafel with pretty much
anything else you're eating.
You don't need to worry
about the separation of meat and dairy.
What you need to make falafel at home.
Dried chickpeas, not canned chickpeas.
I have been told that is absolutely fact religious.
That was the word that was used.
It came to me from Israel.
So, dried chick peas only.
You need a large white onion.
If you're into red peppers,
you should get a few red bell peppers.
I'm not, I think peppers are disgusting.
And also they (beep) me up.
So, no peppers here today.
You need about like half a head of garlic,
cumin, some coriander, lot of salt,
some cilantro, and parsley.
Oh, and a bunch of oil to fry it with.
When's the last time you ate a falafel?
Did we get the Halal guys recently?
- In Paris.
- In Paris?
That was just such a bougie answer.
In Paris.
Alright.
We're going to try Liz.
You're on the treadmill?
- Yes, elliptical.
The joy of a good falafel ball
is that it comes out of the fryer
very hot and crispy on the outside,
and moist and delicious on the inside.
And even when you reheat them, it's not the same.
- Uncle Jack said this was um, Eliezer?
Is that the cousin he worked with?
- Yes, he partnered with our cousin Eliezer.
- So we're gonna attempt to make falafel.
Thank you so much.
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
- Alright.
- Okay, love you.
- I love you.
- Bye. - Love you too.
- So, I'm realizing now she gave me zero tips
as to how to actually do that.
So we're just going to go off of
what Aaron told us via text message,
and hope that it all works out.
Ahead of time, really the first first thing you want to do,
it's just thicker than I anticipated, nothing more,
is take those dried chickpeas I talked about.
You are not to use canned chickpeas.
You will be smited by God if that is the case,
and you are to soak them overnight in a huge bowl
with about three inches of water covering them.
That's what we did with these bad boys,
which smells so potently at this point
after soaking for I think it's like 18 hours.
Like really, if you dumped out canned chickpeas,
and then just took a good whiff from the inside of the can,
that's what these smell like now.
And they're just gonna soak up
all of that water pretty much in its entirety.
You're going to drain them, rinse them really, really well.
So what I'm going to do is chop
this half of this very large onion into quarters.
Great, yay.
While we continue talking, I am going to peel some garlic.
Thank you.
Anything to say?
- No.
- No?
Can you do something with this as well for later?
Okay.
Could you please pick that up?
Thank you so much.
Alright.
So what we're doing now is peeling cloves of garlic.
Oh, let's say four cloves.
Yeah, that's four.
I'll give it a fifth.
Just for funsies.
I don't think I've said one compelling thing
this whole time.
Do you think this Eileen Fisher chord
looked better on the 75 year old model on the website?
- Yeah, it looks good on you,
I think it fits your, your brand.
- What's that?
- Drab.
- Do you know what drab means?
- Nope.
- Are you breathing heavily?
- Yes, our children will be five foot three one day.
What we're going to do now,
because my cousin was very explicit
about really imparting as much of the herb flavor
from the, let's say herbs into the falafel as possible.
We are going to put a lot of cilantro
and a lot of parsley into a tiny food processor,
which is much easier for everyone to handle.
Then we're gonna take a few spoonfuls of that.
Ideally like the juicy bits
at the bottom of the food processor.
And we're going to put it in the big one
along with all of the vegetables.
He had mentioned that when you're making this in bulk,
he being my cousin Aaron,
that he would just throw,
I think he said three to four,
just gigantic bunches of entire leaves, stems, whatever,
the entirety of the cilantro and the parsley
into the blender.
So what we're going do,
instead of those three to four bunches
is go with about three to four tablespoons.
That's really how far we're taking down the recipe.
This is another one of those things
where you can't see what I'm doing,
but I expect people to be able to follow along.
- Well, I think-
- Helpful.
How do I, how do I get my energy up?
- You just gotta start acting more excited.
- I have to start acting more excited, okay.
I'm so excited about this falafel working.
(laughs)
- What?
- Oh, I was going to kiss you.
Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me.
Okay, I will take a pandemic lover.
Give me that parsley.
Okay, that is fantastic.
It already smells great in here.
My other New Year's resolution
was to learn how to assemble a food processor,
which I will do with confidence and poise.
Are you (beep) kidding me?
Oh my God.
So what we're going to do is essentially
use this as a juicer of sorts.
Like if we have done it correctly,
it'll be like really pasty fine.
Almost liquidy, which is to say
we're going to (beep) just destroy it.
(food processor whirring)
Oh, do you smell it?
- You could add some olive oil, vinegar, chili pepper,
and you add a nice little chimichurri.
- Shut the (beep) up.
(laughs)
Oh, no, it's getting a little juicy in there.
Did you know that parsley smells disgusting?
It's like sharp, almost.
(food processor whirring)
Why does the smell come out of here?
We're gonna put the juiciest parts of that
into this (beep) thing.
Onion, grind, chickpea, grind, garlic, grind,
more, grind, spice, spice, spice, spice, spice,
chickpea, chickpea, chickpea.
Hurricane.
You can see, it's just kind of like all
congealed into a lump, an herb pile.
Still smells disgusting.
What we're going to do with the remaining herbs is,
not throw them away.
I've told June many times that all I want
is for her to be proud of me,
and I think this would make her proud.
We're going to use this to dress an Israeli salad later.
A lot of people use a binding agent
when it comes to falafel.
They'll put a few tablespoons of flour in there,
some baking soda in the chickpeas
while they're soaking overnight.
Not in this particular Palestinian recipe,
it's all just going to kind of bind itself, I guess.
We'll find out.
Or it will all tragically fall apart when we start to fry.
But okay.
In the meantime,
let's start by putting half of our half onion in there.
(fumbling with food processor)
I just did this.
I just, okay.
This is the only option left, so.
Is it supposed to click?
Stuff of nightmares.
- What did you do?
- I don't, that sounded like an accusation,
that's really not what I need right now.
Okay.
(fumbling with food processor)
- It's locked.
- You're watching my greatest fantasy play out in real time.
So immensely satisfying for me.
Do you want to tell everyone
what your qualifications as a medical professional are?
- No, let me set it.
- Would you like me to cut it for minimal humiliation?
- No.
- No?
Okay.
(fumbling with food processor)
Ah!
- Oh, I got it.
This is on backwards.
This, okay for everyone who has a-
- Oh yes, it's turned into a lesson.
- This is how you do it.
I'm gonna (beep).
- Okay, what we're going to do,
I have to unlock it to show, I can't.
Okay, so another trick
when you are in this step of combining
is that you don't want to pulse everything too decisively,
that there should be a good bit of chunk
inside your falafel when you cut in,
which means no part of it should be pureed.
It should be rather like dicey, like a good dice.
We're going to continue to add chickpeas
at almost every turn.
And we're going to stop ourselves
before it becomes pasty.
(food processor whirring)
More onions, more chickpeas.
Oh God.
Did I mention, by the way
that it's a cup and three quarters of chickpeas?
(food processor whirring)
Here we go.
- That looks good.
- It almost looks like a fine like couscous.
We'll add our garlic.
We'll add more chickpeas.
I'm just gonna do all of it.
Eh, I'll hold one.
More.
That's fine.
(food processor whirring)
Okay, now it smells less like inside of a chickpea can
and more like garlic, which we love.
Yeah, I can see why this recipe
doesn't really need a binding agent.
It is kind of balling up on its own, which is great.
It is at this point that we are going to go ahead
and add a lot of salt, two full tablespoons of salt.
I'm going to go with heaping tablespoons
because I think that is the right choice.
Kosher salt, obviously,
but if you want to go ahead and use your fancy salt, fine.
I truly feel nothing about that.
Am I recording?
Okay, I am.
Tablespoon and a half of cumin.
I'm going to do this, like leveled out.
Almost exactly that.
One tablespoon of coriander.
Just pour it out all over your kitchen counter.
That's the right way to...
Shh.
(scraping)
Okay.
Ready?
(fumbling with food processor)
I just worry people are gonna think
there's something really wrong with me.
(food processor whirring)
Okay, I think that looks great.
Okay, so, I'm going to show you
how you can see chunks of just about everything in there.
I wasn't recording any of it.
- Classic.
- Why am I so bad at this?
Anyway.
- I'm a talented chef, I know how to cook.
- I'm going to put a Dutch oven filled with canola oil
on the stove, heat it to 325 degrees.
We're gonna ball these up, I'm gonna use a cookie scoop.
That's not typically what you'd use,
there is something called like a falafel baller.
You can use that if you have it,
if not, ours are just going to be perfectly shaped, little-
- You don't have canola oil.
Could you use another type of oil
or would it affect the flavor of the falafel?
- Who do you think you are?
Well, yeah, I'm going to dump it in the oil
for about three minutes.
They're gonna be really crispy.
And while they're cooling,
we're going to chop up some Israeli salad,
eat it all together.
We'll take the falafel mixture
and like pack it into the cookie scoop,
put it directly into the oil.
When it starts to rise, each of the balls,
which will be about three minutes in,
and they get a bit darker on the outside.
That's when you know they're done.
Finally time to eat these,
and very excited and very hungry.
And I do hope that anyone who was confounded
at the thought of DIY falafel
now can see that if I can do it truly anyone can,
which I think is the thesis of this whole show.
Falafel, Israeli salad,
which by the way is diced up cucumber and tomato,
the rest of those herbs we used
for the inside of the falafel,
lemon juice, olive oil, salt, pepper, mix, mix, mix.
Oh, and a drizzle of tahini on top,
which Aaron said was mandatory.
- Store bought is fine.
- Okay, that is phenomenally salty and crispy.
It is still intact in the middle,
which is so much fun to eat
because not only are we getting crunches on the outside
there is some crunch in the middle too,
which don't you want
when you're eating something slightly greasy?
You can taste so much of the cumin,
so much of the coriander,
it's so nice to eat with fresh veggies.
Perfect for snacking, we're going to eat it for lunch.
Perfect drunk food.
We're not drunk.
Maybe we are.
You wouldn't be able to tell,
it is really just like enjoying your very own
like savory Mallomar, like hmm.
(crunches)
Can you hear it?
- Best thing you've ever made.
- Best thing I've ever made.
That said, this has been so much fun.
I do think we're going to take a break
from deep fried Jewish foods.
And I think maybe we'll go like the baking route
or the stove top route for the next few episodes,
as my body parts and psyche need a break from frying.
So, with that, mazel to me, mazel to you.
What else do I normally say?
This is Slightly Kosher.
I'm a genius.
I guess you can be too, (beep) has been real.