Hi there this is Clay with relationshipinnergame.com and today I'm going to be answering the question
of how long should you wait before you ask your ex to get back together with you.
Okay.
And the answer is two weeks.
Four days and six hours and 43 minutes and 32 seconds.
Okay, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
That might be the right answer for someone out there, but it's probably not the right
answer for you.
And what I'm gonna ask you to do is to not look at any sort of external timeline of any
sort.
Okay.
But rather to look at the emotional connection that you are having with your ex at any given
time.
Okay.
So, you know, you wouldn't ask your ex to get back together after, you know, X amount
of time.
Maybe that's like a month, maybe it's two months, maybe once a week.
I don't know.
You wouldn't like let's just say somebody out there says, you know, you should ask your
ex to get back together with you after two months.
Okay.
And then you're like, okay, cool, I'll do that two months then.
So it's like, you know, the day before, two months and you have like a big fight with
your ex.
I mean, clearly you're not going to go the next day and be like, Hey, do you want to
get back together?
It's been two months.
Someone on the Internet told me I should ask you to get back together because it's been
two months even though we had this huge fight yesterday.
Like you wouldn't do that, right?
It's just dumb.
What you, what you want to do is instead not base it on some sort of arbitrary timeline,
but instead just base it on the quality of the connection that the two of you are having
together.
Okay?
So let's talk a little bit about what determines the quality of the connection that you are
having together.
Okay?
So first of all, when you break up with your ex or your ex breaks up with you, as most
of the case may be for people watching this video, your ex is going to experience a strong
feeling of reactance towards you in a lot of cases.
And this reactance is going to cause them to wall you out to not talk to you, to pull
away from you emotionally when you try to contact them and try to talk to them or try
to talk about the relationship and all that stuff.
Right?
So there's this, there's this strong sort of repelling force and you want to be able
to burn through that first.
Okay.
And the way you burn through that is, number one, let a certain amount of time pass in
most cases, but also through, through cultivating advanced relational skills that will allow
you to, connect and bond with them at a deeper level.
Okay.
We talked about that in other videos we've talked about in the program.
We talk about that or the website relationshipinnergame.com will not be elaborating too much on the advanced
relational skills right now.
But, but so that's going to determine that stuff.
And so once through the act and starts to melt away, that's when they start to open
up to you a little bit more.
That's when they start to be more willing to connect with you.
Be More willing to talk to you, be more willing to, you know, spend more time with you.
Okay.
And when you can do that, you know, that's the positive feelings are kind of building
up there, right?
They're building and, and as you do that, those positive feelings will be increasing
and the more time you spend together, the more time you have good interactions, more
time.
You have positive interactions, the positive things we building up, you know, obviously
if you have like a big fight or something that has a positive feelings will go down.
But when the positive feelings are going up and, and it seems like the two of you are
already in a relationship, the two of you were already back together, you know, you
can, you can call them up.
It's not like, oh, I feel anxious about calling them.
Maybe I shouldn't call them now.
I was just like, yeah, I'm just going to call them.
It's like the most natural thing in the world for me to call him right now.
Or I had a really great day.
I just want to let them know.
It's like, I don't have to overthink this at all.
It's just the most natural thing in the world.
Can you tell them about it and you know, I, I'm pretty sure they're going to respond to
me and all that.
Like when that happens, that is when it is the ideal time to ask them to get back together
because, because you already are on such a high note, right?
You're already on such a high note.
You guys are basically already in a relationship.
Okay. and it's because the two of you have positive feelings that are at a very high
point.
Okay.
That is when it is the right time to ask them to get back together with you or to talk about
that or to have that conversation with them.
There might be a little bit of hesitation on their part just because you may not have
directly addressed some things from the breakup and all that, but you can have that conversation
during that talk and you can work those things out.
But I wouldn't recommend having that conversation until you are at a high note with them, until
you at a place where the two of you are having good, positive interactions with each other
until you're at a place where those positive emotions for you are increasing rather than
decreasing.
Okay?
So don't look at it as having this conversation with them after a certain amount of time.
That should be pretty obvious.
You want to make it happen when the two of you are having a good connection with the
two of you are having positive and increasing positive emotions towards each other.
Okay?
So keep that in mind and if you'd like more help on how to do this and on how to, how
to get help from us, saving your relationship, please head on over to relationshipinnergame.com.
And sign up for our newsletter there and we'll start sending you advice, tips, and actions
on how you can start to work things out with your ex and get the relationship and you want.
Thank you.