It's no secret that Donald Trump's transition out of office
was a painful one.
He caused a major rift in the GOP,
but his relationship with the GOP
isn't the only one that's been strained.
You see, there was another organization
that played an equally important role
in Trump's political rise: Fox News.
For four years, they treated Trump
the way a white lady treats her dog.
He was a good boy, and if he peed on you,
it was your fault.
And the love was mutual.
But sometime between Trump's campaign for reelection
and his campaign for insurrection
the relationship went south.
NEWSWOMAN: Today, President Trump is taking on Fox News,
as you see right here, retweeting days-old replies,
bashing the channel, and suggesting that Fox is to blame
for his defeat.
I don't know what the hell happened to Fox, huh?
-(jeering) -What happened to Fox?
Boy, oh, boy.
President Trump is blasting Fox News,
suggesting it has become another, quote,
"mainstream media outlet."
Now this is, as the president took to Twitter Wednesday
to say that, "Watching the channel is almost as bad
as watching fake news CNN."
TRUMP: We have a lot of support.
You'd be amazed. We have a lot of support.
So many people we have as supporters,
outside of just, you know, our... our Fox News,
which, you know, I have my own little...
I have my own little difficulties with,
if you want to know the truth.
I'm gonna be honest, it was so weird to see Trump
turn on Fox News, because they were so loyal to him.
They put their necks on the line for him again and again.
Even when they didn't have much neck to begin with.
But now it looks like this love affair is over.
And even though Trump's been married three times,
this might be the biggest breakup of his life.
And we can't wait for the courtroom drama
that this is going to inspire.
ANNOUNCER: They were the perfect match,
but the love didn't last.
This year, get ready for the divorce trial of the century.
All right, we will now hear the case
of Donald J. Trump v. Fox News.
I understand both parties are requesting a divorce,
citing irreconcilable differences.
-Is that correct? -Yes, Your Honor.
Yes, if by "irreconcilable differences,"
you mean backstabbing buttheads.
? ?
Oh, here we go.
Your Honor, my client has suffered too long
with a lying, racist partner who incites insurrection.
They want to find a lying, racist partner
who doesn't incite insurrection.
-Mm-hmm. -Your Honor, my client spent four years
promoting Fox News shows wherever he went--
rallies, international summits, other Fox News shows.
And what did Fox News do in return?
They refused to call the 2020 election for him
just because Joe Biden won.
-That's a good point. -This betrayal has inflicted
emotional, physical and dietary harm.
It made him sad, and he eats junk food when he's sad
and when he's happy and when he feels nothing,
but that's irrelevant to this case.
Your Honor, I object.
ANNOUNCER: The tension is high,
but the stakes are even higher.
All right, let's get down to business,
start splitting up these big, juicy assets.
-Counselor. -He's keeping the Republican Party.
Absolutely not. That was Fox's property
prior to the relationship.
He can have the MAGA base only.
I'm talking the Trump-tattoo-having,
felony live-streaming base,
the ones who haven't combed their beard since the mid-'90s.
That's not fair. None of those rioters
will even be able to vote from jail in the next election.
We want the whole party.
Mr. Trump invested substantial resources
into overhauling the GOP: renovation, upgrades,
spine removal.
Who do you think paid
for Mitch McConnell's Brazilian butt-lift?
I knew that thing was fake!
ANNOUNCER: A breakup this messy
affects the whole family.
All right, let's talk custody. I see here...
there are six children.
Wait, I thought Trump only had five kids.
Is there a secret child y'all ain't telling me about?
No, the petition doesn't refer
to Mr. Trump's biological children.
Rather, we're asking for custody of Steve, Ainsley, Brian,
Tucker, Laura and Sean, the ones he loved.
Your Honor, Mr. Trump's lifestyle
simply can't give them the stability they need to thrive.
Especially little Brian Kilmeade.
He doesn't even understand what's going on.
ANNOUNCER: This verdict will be
the most anticipated result in our lifetimes.
JUDGE: Before I get to my decision,
I'd like to implore both parties
to remember what this relationship used to be.
This relationship was founded on love...
trust...
and common interests
that Mr. Trump and Fox shared.
You know, like wealth and NDAs.
But ultimately, this case comes down to one thing--
whoever gave me the biggest bribe.
So this court hereby rules in favor of...
? ?
ANNOUNCER: Coming soon to a courtroom near you.