sexual urges how to ride the wave of the cycle of porn I'm Dr. Trish Leigh, Cognitive Neuroscientist
and Sex Addiction Recovery Coach. Let's break down sexual urges and what to do about it and this
is in response to guitar player 1902 who left a comment saying that he's learning and growing from
writing these sexual urges and i actually had a note in my phone where i put these notes when
video ideas pop into my brain while i'm falling asleep because that's when creativity happens when
your brain slows down uh to the perfect level okay so thinking about guitar player 1902 this is what
you want to do is learn and grow from the urges so you can't learn and grow from them until you
engage with them now this is slippery you know it can be a slippery slope the best strategy is
if you can't handle an urge and you know you can't you make your pivot plan and you run not walk
to do something else to regulate your brain because what we talk about on this channel is
called neurological regulation all the brain stuff i talk about it's dysregulated brain patterns that
cause different and less than desirable behaviors so when you go into porn it's because your brain's
dysregulated and it wants to feel better but when you regulate your brain it doesn't need to
anymore so if it's so highly dysregulated at the beginning of this journey that you know you
can't ride the wave of an urge stay out of it run not walk to find dopamine in the world and
pattern interrupt when an urge hits so you don't get sucked down the slippery slope
back into the screen but as you move forward in this journey an urge will hit but likely if you're
moving forward it will be less strong and you'll be able to ride the wave of it so what that means
is you have a sexual thought or you have a sexual urge and your brain goes guitar player 1902 let's
watch some porn that's what the sexual urges let's think about some sexual thoughts let's fantasize
about sex for one to 300 minutes but that sexual urge is actually a call for mood regulation it's
actually your brain saying hey friend i need some dopamine or hey friend i need a break
i'm working and there's not enough dopamine there yet because i'm on this porn brain rewire journey
give me some dopamine because i'm dying here or if it's times of boredom when you've worked all
day long and your brain's been jacked up all day long and you get home and there's empty time and
you're like hmm maybe i'll watch porn a sexual urge comes the sexual urge is a call for mood
regulation stress or boredom usually stress coupled with a little bit of free time which
feels like boredom so to ride the urge you go okay i'm getting a sexual urge but i'm not gonna give
in what i'm going to do is do my plan make a plan the plan is what you're going to do to regulate
your mood and give your brain some dopamine offset stress offset boredom in the moments of the urge
and you ride the wave by feeling that sexual urge not giving into it but listening to it as a call
for something to regulate your mood so if you're in the middle of working it means you need a break
from work go take a little break take a a water cooler break which doesn't exist in covid but
call someone get connection get some oxytocin and serotonin flowing go for a little walk go
for a run get some dopamine flowing get the body flowing if you're bored and you get home you need
a new plan of how you're going to chill out in the afternoon or the evening after you've worked
all day your plans no longer to go into the screen because it's frying your brain your plan is you're
going to play tennis you're going to play pool you're going to shoot some darts you're going to
play cards you're going to play words with friends you're going to watch a tv show that's pretty
chill and chills your brain out make a new plan on how you're going to offset stress and boredom
ride the sexual urges until they pass but if you give your brain what it needs in the moment
it'll be easier okay i hope that helps you out if you want help on this journey please go over to
www.drtrishleigh.com there's programs of different shapes and sizes i would be happy to help you
okay until next time control your brain or it'll control you