- (narrator) Trailer voices are soooo epic.
- (Ian) SHUT UP!!!
- (narrator) Jerry had everything going for him:
the perfect job, the perfect house, and the perfect wife.
- How about after this walk we go play some Smash Brothers
and then I make that artisan pizza you love so much.
- I was just about to say the same thing!
- We really are the perfect couple.
(both coo)
(sensuous moaning)
- (narrator) And it made him pretty fricking annoying.
- I'm sorry, what? - (narrator) I said your life was annoying.
Can you just please stop?
- (laughs) I'm sorry you feel that way, sir.
- That disembodied voice must be having a bad day.
- Agreed, darling.
I hope you feel good soon, weird disembodied kind of dickish voice.
- (narrator) I'm not having a bad day.
But what Jerry didn't know is that his perfect world
was about to fall apart.
- (chuckles) I'm sure I'll be fine.
Hey, babe, play with my boomerang.
- (narrator) And that one day, he lived in a world without his wife.
(boomerang spins) - Babe?
(groans in pain)
Well, I guess I could always just get a new wife.
Well, time for a coffee break.
(takes a big whiff)
Nothing takes my mind off my recently non-existant wife
quite like a good old cup of coffee.
- (narrator) In a world without cups!
(sizzling noise) (shrieking)
- Th-That's okay.
I'll just call an ambulance and have them deal with my severe burns.
- (narrator) In a world without phones.
- All right, I'll just drive there myself!
- (narrator) In a world without doors and windows.
- Seriously?
(muffled noises)
- Where there's a will, there's a way!
You can't stop a man with positive thinking.
- (narrator) In a world without cars.
(chuckles)
- Try to stop me now!
- (narrator) In a world without bicycle wheels.
(slow motion screaming)
- (groaning) Well, at least cars don't exist
so they can't run me-- AAAH!
(groaning)
I thought you said there'd be no cars!
- (narrator) I forgot I said that, but whatever.
I can do whatever I want, okay?
Cars exist now again, okay?
- That's it! You're a dead man!
- Wait, what?
- You heard me.
I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna shove some murder down your throat!
- (cocky laugh) You'll never find me.
- Hey! Tell me where he is. Tell me.
You! You'd better tell me where he is right now!
- Don't tell him.
- (bystander) He lives downtown, top floor of The Narrator Building.
Just don't hurt me! - The Narrator Building?
Is that the building full of narrators that narrate narration
about narrative pieces? - (bystander) Yeah.
That's the one. (Ian growls angrily)
- Should we follow him? - (bystander) Sure. Let's go!
(phone rings)
(explosion)
- Welcome to The Narrator Building.
How may I help you, sir?
- (narrator) In a world without voices.
(mouthing words)
- (narrator) Fine, you can have your voices back.
In a world without consonants.
- (slurring) I need to see the narrator.
- Nobody sees the narrator.
- Whatever!
- (narrator) You know what? That's too weird.
You can have your consonants back, okay?
Just-Just leave me alone. - No way!
All you are is just a deep-voiced jerk
that just says things in a cool way.
Anyone could do it!
(as narrator) In a world without pants.
- Fine! In a world where you have no... shirt.
- In a world where you have no eyebrows.
- Now I have no natural barrier for my extreme brow sweat!
My eyes are ruined!
In a world without your nipples!
- (shrieks) Now I can never produce milk for my offspring!
That's it.
In a world without you not having a narrator
repeat everything that you say!
- What? That's dumb.
- Stop it! - Stop it.
- You are so annoying. - You are so annoying!
- Holy sh*t!
Okay, yeah, that's really annoying!
In a world without narrators.
Oh crap.
(warbling)
- Huzzah!
Wowie, it's a good thing I didn't say a paradox like,
"In a world without a world."
(chuckles)
(gasps)
(warbling)
- (Ian) Well, f*ck my nuts!
- (Anthony) Thanks so much for subscribing!
Click the video on the left to watch bloopers and this deleted scene:
- (narrator) In a world without cars.
(warbling)
- That wasn't even my car, you dingus!
- Oh, apple sauce!
My jitney's all wet and I don't know if I'm nothing.
- (Anthony) And click that video on the right
to watch our new show, Put It in My Mouth,
where they try nasty stuff.
This episode includes Lee Newton
and they try a fruit that smells like complete butthole!
(groans in disgust)
- Is it chicken stuffed snot?
- I want you to get the gushy one.
(gagging)
- (Anthony) And if you have a fancy little tablet device thing,
click all those links down in the description belooooow.