- Hello, Sarah Millican here sitting outside,
I thought it was warm, it's really not.
(she chuckles)
Whenever people watch my shows on YouTube
or on the telly or clips of them on YouTube,
I get lots of messages from people asking,
why is there somebody asleep in the audience?
So this is the video that explains that.
Here I am explaining it a little bit
on a DVD extra on my second show,
"Thoroughly Modern Millican."
This is something sneaky that we wanna do.
See what you think of this.
On the first DVD that I did,
the only DVD that I've done so far on Chatterbox,
there was a man asleep.
I dunno if anybody noticed that?
Did you notice that, at 34 minutes, we had no fucking idea.
Well I was talking to a lady in the audience
and the camera was on the lady in the audience
and behind her a bloke was doing this.
(crowd laugh)
And we had no idea,
we'd entirely missed it during the edit.
And we thought it would be quite funny if on this DVD
there was also a person asleep.
(crowd laugh)
Just to sort of keep it going on each of the DVDs.
So what we'd like to do is maybe if somebody,
especially probably the downstairs area is easier
for a cameraman to get to,
does anybody wanna volunteer to be the sleepin' person?
(crowd laugh)
We've got a few people here.
We've got a few.
Have we got any?
We've got a lady there.
So lady in the green top,
let's see if we can get a camera
to the lady in the green top
in the sort of middle section there.
And she's gonna, what we're gonna do is she's gonna pretend
to be asleep and the rest of you'll have to laugh.
(crowd laugh)
Like that, but better.
(crowd laugh)
Are we happy with a camera on?
We got a camera?
We happy with that?
Excellent, so what we gonna do.
Nice lady, what's your name, flower?
- Emma. - Hello Emma.
If you can put your head and just do a proper,
like you've been out for half an hour.
Give us a look of what it looks like.
That's pretty good.
It doesn't look comfortable, does it?
Do you wanna, Oh yeah excellent, that's good.
Okay, so after three, we're all gonna do a big laugh.
Is that right?
Okay, fuck it.
(crowd laugh)
I love that you guys in this room
will be the only people that know
that we've purposefully put a sleeping person on the DVD.
Don't put it on Twitter and I won't.
Nobody will know until the DVD comes out apart from us.
Okay, 1, 2, 3.
(crowd laugh)
(crowd cheer)
Are you happy?
Are you happy lovely man on the camera?
He's bloody happy.
Look at that thumb straight up there.
Well thank you for doing that.
I know it's a bit daft
but we thought it would just be a fun thing to do.
So thank you very much for doing that.
And after all that we spotted a person
who'd actually fallen asleep during the show.
See if you can find them.
I don't like feeling overly claggy down there.
(crowd laugh)
There she is.
Pissed I think
Now what we're gonna do now
is before I crack on with the show,
we're gonna do, we're gonna record one of the DVD extras.
Now I have to sort of set the scene a little bit.
On the first, this is my third DVD
that we're recording tonight.
On my first DVD, there was a fella asleep through the show.
(crowd laugh)
Now we didn't know, even though during the edit
we watched that show a fuckin' million times.
But we didn't know until the DVDs went on sale
and you lovely lot told me on Twitter.
"Did you see that there's a fellow asleep at 34 minutes?"
(crowd laugh)
Thanks very much.
And what I was doing was talking to a lady in the audience
and there was a man behind her who was spark out, right?
Just...
like that.
So on this second DVD we thought it would be funny
to put a sleepin' person...
(crowd laugh)
in at 34 minutes.
So what we did was we picked somebody in the audience
to pretend to be asleep and we recorded it.
And then when it came to the edit,
we were already to put that person in place at 34 minutes,
until the director told me
that we already had a sleepin' person.
(crowd laugh)
So what we did is we had the normal sleepin' person.
And then we did a little DVD
sort of Easter egg thing where we explained what we'd done.
And the lady who had pretended to be asleep
still got in the show.
(crowd laugh)
So this is the third DVD.
What we thought we might do is do something similar.
So we have somebody pretend to be asleep.
So we have a volunteer from the audience
pretend to be asleep.
The people around them will laugh,
we'll get a shot of that, we'll put that in at 34 minutes.
Unless one of you is fucking asleep!
(crowd laugh)
Right now.
(crowd laugh)
So, have we got anybody in let's...
Can we have the lights up
a little bit on the people in there?
Let's have a look at, oh, I can see you all now.
Look at you you've all got your shiny clothes
on haven't you, fuckin' hell.
Some of you have even washed.
(crowd laugh)
Have we got anybody in the room
who'd like to volunteer to be the sleepin' person.
So we've got a few, we've got people down here.
We've got, he's been volunteered that doesn't count.
Nice feller on the end.
Hello flower, what's your name?
- Sean. - Sean,
You would like to be the sleeping person?
Are you good at sleeping?
Oh look, his wife went, "Oh yeah."
(crowd laugh)
"All the time."
So what we'll do is if,
can you show me what your sleeping face looks like?
Can you pretend,
like you've been asleep for a good 20 minutes.
That's pretty good, that's pretty good.
You can't all see it, but it's pretty good.
Okay, so what we're gonna do...
Sean, you can wake up now, fuck.
(crowd laugh)
We're gonna lose him for the whole show.
So what we'll do is we'll get a shot of when, is it you,
is it you, are you on the, you on the, he's on it.
So if the people around, we'll all do it,
'cause it'll be fun.
But the people around can all laugh
and then we'll can slot that
into just one of your or normal laughs.
Okay, so if everybody on the count of three.
Sean if you settle down asleep now, so settle down.
There we go.
So is that, no, no fingers behind you.
(crowd laugh)
So on the count of three, if you know,
just a gentle laugh.
Not like a waa haa!
Just like a haha, haha, like I said something quite funny,
but not like the best joke in the show.
So if we do that on a count, no, not fuck.
They're starting wthout us.
(crowd laugh)
1, 2, 3.
(crowd laugh)
You got it?
Happy with that, right?
Excellent, well done Sean.
(crowd cheer)
Now what we'd like to do just as an additional thing
'cause we've gotta make it better,
'cause we did this on the last DVD.
We didn't have anybody as glamorous as you Sean
but we did have somebody.
So what we'd like to do to ramp it up a bit
is we'd like to also do a shot
of the whole audience asleep apart from one person.
(crowd laugh)
Who, let's have a woman this time.
Who would like the laugher?
Got a few down here.
No, I know you.
Not the woman from the fuckin' Felon.
(crowd laugh)
Now we've got a lady at the back with her arm up.
Can you see the lady right at the back
on the left hand side with her arm up?
- [Man] The one waving?
- Yeah, the one waving.
What's your name, love?
- K-a-te. - K-a-te!
(crowd laugh)
How many syllables are in your name?
(crowd laugh)
K-a-ate.
Is is Kate?
- It's my birthday?
- It's your birthday today?
Ahh, happy birthday Kate, that's excellent.
Ah, well your birthday present from me
is that you can be the laugher in the audience, okay?
So everybody else all the way down
we're gonna film you all.
All get into your sleeping positions.
(crowd laugh)
Oh there's a bit of cuddlin' goin' on there,
look, look at those two.
Oh, oh, oh.
You want no eyes open.
All eyes shut.
- Has to be somebody near the front
so they can get a wide shot.
- Oh, does it?
Oh, it has to be somebody near the front.
Hold on.
Kate, can you come and sit...
No let's bring Kate.
It's her birthday, shut up.
(crowd cheer)
Come down, is that a spare seat in front of you, flower?
Yeah, lets get her there, is that better there.
Sorry to bring you apart from your friends and family,
but let's have the birthday girl in.
- [Woman] Keep her there.
- What was that?
- [Woman] Don't send her back.
- Don't send her back.
(crowd laugh)
Even nearer?
How can we do it even nearer, where can...
- Could you swap with someone?
- Oh, look the ladies are swapping.
Awh, I love you lot, your fuckin' lovely aren't you?
Bless.
What was that?
- [Woman] We're Geordies?
- We're Geordies, that's true.
(crowd cheer)
They said, "Where do you wanna film your DVD?"
I said, "Fuckin' home, that's where I wanna film it."
(crowd cheer)
But we've got so now is this is sorry, Hannah.
Is that, are we all right here?
We're happy with where Kate is?
So Kate, can you show me your laughin'?
That's good, the arms are good, Haa Haa!
Like a proper, like slightly mental laugh.
Like the woman from The Felon would do.
(crowd laugh)
Haa, Haa, Haaa!
Now can everybody else get into your sleepin' positions?
You're doing really well, this is awesome.
I could totally show my tits
and nobody would see but Kate.
(crowd laugh)
Oh a couple of eyes have opened there.
Oh, is she doing it, no she's not.
Could get one out couldn't I, suppose.
Are you happy with this?
Happy with this?
Okay, So oh, you're all doing it?
It's awesome.
So if I count to three and then you do a lovely laugh
is that all right?
You can, you can, you can try.
Absolutely, so everybody eyes shut.
Everybody asleep.
There's a lady upstairs looking at me.
Asleep, there you go, thank you.
Okay, 1, 2, 3.
(Kate giggles)
Bigger than that, like mental.
(Kate giggles)
Like louder.
- I feel stupid.
- You are stupid, you fuckin' volunteered to do this.
(crowd laugh)
You can't do it.
Woman from The Felon, get over here.
(crowd cheer)
Come over here.
Thank you, Kate.
Go back to your seat.
Can we keep your seat for a second?
Is that all right, mate?
Come on, what's your name love?
- Lisa.
- Lisa, howay Lisa, man.
Howay, gan canny pet, howay get yourself round here love.
She's coming, she's coming along.
You better fuckin' deliver.
(crowd laugh)
- [Man] Come on, Lisa!
(crowd laugh)
- Oh, do you know her?
Oh, you know her that's...
do you know her?
Yes, okay, I thought you were just like a crazy man
we'd have to have removed.
(crowd laugh)
Yes, are you, ooh wowzers,
you are a little wobbly aren't you.
Do you need a sick bag?
(crowd laugh)
- No. - No.
Sorry feller in front
I think you might get a hair full of chunder soon.
(crowd laugh)
Right, let's have a look Lisa, show us...
No don't, stop touching people.
(crowd laugh)
Oh, I'm really sorry, I'm really sorry.
Right Lisa, Lisa focus, hello!
(crowd laugh)
Just pretend I'm a kebab and look at us.
(crowd laugh)
Now she's like that, fuckin' glued.
(crowd laugh)
Right, are you, what're you doin'?
What you doin'?
No, no, you don't have to climb up.
You don't have to look freakishly tall.
(crowd laugh)
Sit back down.
Right.
No, there's a camera on you, love.
Oh, she went, "Oh,"
like she's just realised it's being filmed.
"Oh fuck."
(crowd laugh)
This might end up
being third time fuckin' lucky mightn't it?
Right, Lisa what you're gonna do...
show us your laugh, do like a big, crazy laugh.
(she screams and laughs loudly)
(crowd cheer)
Right, okay.
(crowd laugh)
You know, I think she's gonna do a good job
but I'm slightly worried about putting her back over there.
We might not get her moved.
Right now we're gonna see if I can get this done.
This is taken far too fuckin' long already.
(crowd laugh)
Now Lisa, shh, shh, shh, fingers on your lips
and not those ones, I know what you're doin'.
(crowd laugh)
Everybody else into sleep positions please.
After three, I'll count you in.
After three, do that crazy laugh.
Like only people are from The Felon can do.
Are you ready?
You ready?
1, 2, 3.
(she screams and laughs loudly)
I love you!
(crowd laugh)
I love you!
Okay, I'm gonna do it again, but you can't laugh at her.
(crowd laugh)
You're all asleep!
Okay.
So I know she's hilarious
and possibly funnier than I am.
(crowd laugh)
Right, this is the last one we're doing
otherwise we're scraping the fuckin' thing.
Everybody in sleep positions and just a laugh.
No, "I love you,"
No, no, we're not like, "Hey look, I've got a stalker."
We're just like, we've got one laugher in
and you did a brilliant laugh before.
So let's do that one.
After three, everybody quiet.
Nobody laugh at her.
1, 2, 3.
(she laughs hysterically)
Yeah, we're happy with that.
Yaeh!
(crowd cheer)
Here is the fake sleeper in action.
And I always think a carrot cake
is such an abomination of a cake.
It's like, it's got veg in it, fuck off.
(crowd laugh)
Some people choose to put dates and nuts in it.
And you think you're just removing all of the cake aspects.
What you've got there is a shitty pasty.
(crowd laugh)
The fourth and final time we did this
was on my DVD "Outsider."
We decided to change it up with bit, yet again.
This is the one I get the most messages about from people
saying, "Why, how could somebody sleep through you?"
"I can't believe there's a woman asleep in the audience."
Just take a look and I'll explain in a second.
(crowd laugh)
In case you hadn't realised it, it's me. (laughs)
So many people don't recognise me,
even though I'm wearing the same dress
that I'm wearing on stage.
Little tip for those of you who didn't recognise me.
This...
is also this...
same person.
Same person. (laughs)
Thanks for watching.
I hope that clears it up.
Bye bye.
Hi, I'm Sarah Milican
and thanks very much for watching my video.
I'm on tour at the moment
with a show called "Bobby Dazzler."
To find out where I'm going and when
go to sarahmillican.co.uk
Thanks. Bye.