welcome to the you I would love so much
to help you today I'm checking in that
would be my great pleasure may I offer
you a kumquat and elderflower julep yeah
thank you no thank you
really this is a lot nicer than the
hotel's I usually stay at I'm just in
town for work for the night
I'm so happy you felt comfortable enough
to share that with me a what name with
the reservation band er uh Amy Schumer
of course perfect my parents almost
named me Amy but I didn't deserve it huh
you picked a great weekend to be here
willow Nolte is guest deejaying in the
lobby tonight Nick Nolte's stepdaughter
Wow here's your room key checkout is at
11:00 and now I'll show you to your room
you're an angel and it's my great honour
to breathe the same air as you know this
is soaked our pool experience over here
we have display our lounge area oh I
would have had more of that and right
here is solar which will take us to your
room oh I love your shoes everything
about you is just so on point thank you
I love rolling this bag around cuz it's
yours
welcome home this is huge you could fit
three people in here this is too fancy
for me no don't say that no this is all
about you you deserve this you make Kate
Middleton look like a mental patient
she's getting herself in a rusty
wheelchair right this way all of our
water is pumped in from virginal koi
ponds where two beautiful swans are
making love for the first time our
ceramic sustainable infinity toilet has
an orgasm every time you flush oh yes I
never have to fake it with you Amy you
look radiant take a look at yourself in
the mirror see what I see
wait was what why aren't you in the
mirror oh it doesn't reflect the staff
we're nothing I'm look at me running my
mouth off like a stupid dumb
anyway you must be exhausted I'll leave
you alone
hello angel oh my god can i tuck you in
uh you don't have to oh I want to oh no
would you like to be awakened by a soft
kiss on the cheek or a stranger going
down on you oh I don't know biggis the
ladder okay we could just feel it out in
the moment then is there anything else I
can do for you anything um well I hate
to ask but I usually sleep with a white
noise machine
I really prefer whale noises that's my
specialty
correct
housekeeping I'll be out in a minute
chop chop good morning they check out is
it
it's after 11:00 I'm going to have to
charge you for another day it's like
five after should I just leave that all
on the visa it's me on the visa man yeah
I guess this woman is no longer a guest
at the hotel she's done she's done
talking to you this way ma'am she's then
oh no no I think she just didn't
recognize me
wait let me try I'm checking in oh I
love that scarf is that Egyptian silk
everything about you just so on point
wait it's me it's me
you