hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about 10 mistakes
guys always make now let's begin number one awkward awareness
first dates are notoriously awkward you don't know each other you're not comfortable around
each other you're both testing the waters trying to gauge whether or not the other
person really likes you but there's one mistake guys always make on first dates just because
the atmosphere is a little uncomfortable it doesn't mean you have to make things worse
many guys think acknowledging an awkward moment will relieve the tension they say well this is
awkward hoping to get a laugh or a smile these well-meaning comments make the atmosphere even
more uncomfortable because awkwardness is now the focal point of the conversation hey if it
wasn't obvious before it's obvious now so you're gonna feel even more on edge than you did before
so don't acknowledge the awkwardness of a first date at least not out loud you can acknowledge
the awkwardness in your head but you should stay comfortable and confident on the outside
a date or conversation is only awkward if you let it be awkward if you're upbeat and confident
she'll follow your lead and your date will go a whole lot better so don't talk about how awkward
things are have fun stay calm and comfortable and if you do the awkward atmosphere will disappear
in no time number two intentional carelessness every guy wants to appear cool and confident in
your minds this carefree persona may be everything a woman wants nonchalant self-assured mysterious
but a careless attitude is not going to win her over in fact it's gonna push her away
okay so here's the problem with any confident and carefree persona
you see yourself as playing it cool but she reads something completely different
from her perspective you're not carefree you're careless she may interpret your attitude as a
lack of investment in other words she thinks you want to leave if your date thinks you're
not interested she's going to pull away she'll think the relationship has no potential or future
so she'll move on to someone new so instead of playing it cool show her that you care
confidently prove to her that you're interested and invested there are a number of different ways
to show interest for example good listening skills show her that she has your undivided attention
but be careful you don't want to be overly excited or eager that can and will scare her
off but don't worry about playing it cool that carefree persona isn't getting you anywhere
number three stick to their guns do you plan your dates ahead of time before going
on a date every guy should have a plan otherwise you're in for an awkward time
so what should your plan look like this is where many men go wrong they use the same cookie-cutter
dates over and over ok let's say there's a steakhouse down the street that you love
over the years this steakhouse has become your signature spot for first dates
no matter who you're dating you always go there but what if you're dating a vegetarian
what if your date isn't a fan of fancy one-on-one dinners my point is don't use the same dates for
every person you should tailor your date to the person you're dating pick something that suits her
specific interests better yet choose a place you two have talked about before let's say you talked
about getting ice cream at a place downtown just take her there for your first date a personalized
date will make a much better impression number four absent chemistry dating is complicated
men have a lot to think about in the beginning stages you want to read her body language
you want to time everything perfectly you want to plan the right dates and make the right moves but
there's one factor that men consistently forget if you want to date someone you have to get along
many men seek out relationships before connecting on a personal or emotional level
okay let's say for example you're on a date with someone you find attractive you plan a nice dinner
you create a perfect opportunity to get to know each other but you spend the whole date worrying
about what comes next you're so nervous you hardly digest anything about her you're so focused on the
future the present is slipping through your fingers so stop making this common mistake
slow down don't worry about what comes next and get to know your date in the moment if you want
to be in a relationship with someone you need more than dates and romantic gestures on a basic level
you need chemistry and the best way to build that chemistry is talking talk about your day
talk about your favorite hobbies tell her about your goals for the future then ask about hers
they seem simple and insignificant but these conversations separate bad matches from long-term
partners these conversations tell you whether or not you've chosen the right person for you
so worry less about your first kiss and think more about your chemistry
number five questioning choices men make this huge mistake on a regular basis in the early stages of
a relationship don't question the person you're dating if you make her question her own decisions
you're gonna drive her away okay just imagine you and your date are looking for a place to eat you
decide on a burger place that you both love your date tells you that she's craving a milkshake too
thoughtlessly you say you're getting a milkshake and a burger hmm that's a lot
of food oh you may not mean any harm maybe you were making a joke but comments like these can
ruin your date immediately she doesn't want you to weigh in on her decisions big or small
would you like it if your date questioned your decisions no you wouldn't so don't question hers
number six insecure misdirection do you bring up intelligent topics just to sound smart
do you overdress to make women think you're wealthy countless
men pretend to be something they're not they change or obscure their real identity
why is that because they think money power and iq points make them more attractive and impressive
but she won't be impressed in fact she'll leave you on the spot because this kind of misdirection
shouts one thing loud and clear you're not confident in who you are you pretend to be
someone else because you don't have faith in the real you to almost anyone that's a deal breaker
number seven perfect or nothing your date doesn't have to be perfect the most important thing isn't
how incredible your date is it's the effort you put into it this is where many guys go completely
wrong they imagine a date so impressive that any girl will instantly fall for them but you don't
need to do something extraordinary you don't need to spend mountains of money to get her attention
whatever you plan she wants to see that you tried that you made a plan and considered
her individual interests hey it's okay if your plan ultimately falls through it's all right if
things don't go exactly the way you wanted them to sometimes mistakes can make unforgettable memories
even if everything goes wrong she may like you more because you cared enough to try
number eight all up what topics should you avoid on a first date many men go too deep too fast a
first date is not the right place to talk about your future family it's not the right place to
criticize your exes or reflect on personal trauma on a first date you should get to know each other
on a basic level you want to see if you have chemistry if you make each other laugh if you
can hold a steady conversation so don't get ahead of yourself don't suddenly reveal your deepest
darkest secrets you'll get to know each other over time but right now just keep all those skeletons
inside the closet number nine dominating the conversation how often do you talk about yourself
on a first date it's important to share details about your personal life you
should tell her about things you like you should talk about hobbies and passions you care about
but just make sure you're not dominating the conversation many men spend every minute talking
about themselves you tell stories you talk about your career you joke about your friends
you had a great time laughing at yourself but what about her do you think she's having as much
fun as you are this is an incredibly frustrating experience so don't spend the entire day talking
about yourself no matter how entertaining you think you are if you want to build chemistry
the conversation has to go both ways ask her about her life encourage her to share her own stories
most importantly listen to everything she says don't sit there and wait for your next
opportunity to speak if you're only interested in yourself then you're to miss your shot
number 10 playing tricks last but not least don't use tricks to make someone like you
there are countless tricks and techniques circulating around but many of these tricks send
confusing signals some are downright manipulative they claim to win any girl's hearts but you're not
winning her over you're toying with her feelings and you're pushing her away tricks are never the
right way to start your relationship she may think you're uninvested and careless she may
realize how manipulative you really are either way those tricks will scare her away so don't
make the same mistakes men always make you don't need tricks to make a connection hey thank you
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