- Never in my wildest dreams did I think
I would look people in the face and be like,
"Your snake cake's not good."
- Just crank, crank this (bleep) up.
- Who has the time?
(energetic soul music)
- I'm here with Nicole Byer, host of Netflix's Nailed It!
- [Nicole] Some shows are dedicated
to the best baker in the world.
This is not one of them.
Welcome to Nailed It!
- And we are going to make her
all-time favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe.
So how does this recipe start?
- Okay, so we have, stuff.
We got dry ingredients.
- Yup, cookies always need dry ingredients.
- Yes.
- [Lindsay] And this is Jacques Torres's recipe.
- This is Jacques Torres.
- And because it's Jacques Torres,
we are using really annoying flours, yeah.
- Put the flours together. - Yes, smart.
- This is something.
- That is baking soda.
- This is salt? - Yes.
- This is other salt.
- That is baking powder.
But we could call it other salt.
- I know exactly what I'm doing.
- As a comic, how did you get into hosting
a food reality competition show?
- Well, the Magical Elves is a production company.
One of their executives was like,
"This is a super fun show.
"This idea for a show to do cake fails,
"have people try to like re-create them
"and then like have them fail, and we want
"it to be a comedy, so we want a comic to host it."
And then they came to me with the idea
and I was like, "I love money.
"What do you want this show to be?"
And they were like, "We don't know."
And I was like, "I get to be me and do whatever?"
And they said, "Sure," and I was like, "Okay."
- Right.
- Never in my wildest dreams did I think
I would look people in the face
and be like, "Your snake cake's not good."
(gagging)
- No, really?
- I'm so sorry.
- We're gonna do
- The wet ingredients - the wet ingredients.
- So we got butter. - Yup.
- And then we got sugar, the white one.
- Yeah.
- And then we have brown sugar, ooh.
- We're gonna just beat the butter
and sugar until it's fluffy, so let me just plug,
let me go around you (laughs).
- That was a nice hug. - Good.
- Sometimes you just need a hug.
Yes, oh my god, I'm churning butter.
- Yes you are.
- I'm a pioneer.
- What are some of the worst things
that you have tasted on the show?
- A man put salt in his cupcake.
Truly, all the cakes are pretty awful, and we
- Like they actually taste awful?
- Yes.
- I mean, are you guys kind of exaggerating it for camera?
- No, it's mystifying that people
(bleep) up things that are just so simple.
We give them cake mix.
Butter down!
- Just crank, crank this (bleep) up.
2 teaspoons vanilla, you're gonna do
- These people claim they love baking.
Not once have I ever said, "I love baking."
- Right.
- I order food, I do not make food.
- Do you cook at all? - No.
- Not at all?
- No, the only thing I make is a thing
called slop, which is browned turkey, tomato sauce,
Parmesan cheese, and then you put it over green beans
or you could put it over noodles,
but I choose green beans because it's like,
I don't know, healthier?
- Well it's low-carb.
- Low-carb for life!
Now we add the chocolate chips?
- Yes, now they become chocolate chip cookies
and of course we're using Jacques chocolate.
- Yes, Jacques Torres chocolate.
- Which is fancy as (bleep).
- It's delicious.
- I got drunk with him once.
- Keep going, what are you doing
stopping on the middle of it?
- 'Cause I needed some champagne.
- Come on, chop chop.
- This is dangerous for me 'cause I ate
a burger last night that's trying to kill me today.
- I love a cookie with a chocolate disc, upgrades it.
- I think the reason why he does like discs
with baking is because the chocolate expands
so it's not like a chip, it's
just like a big goop of chocolate.
- Did he teach you that?
- No, I'm just assuming (laughs).
- His recipe wants you to fridge this
for 24 hours, which is insane, up to 72 hours.
We have some in the fridge that we're gonna grab.
- Yes! - Some fridge dough.
And the dough is a little hard.
- Good lord, Jacques.
- Wooooo!
I can fix them once they get over here.
- Who has the time?
- But also when I want chocolate chip cookies,
I want chocolate chip cookies.
- I'm also fat as fuck, so that's not gonna last
in my refrigerator for three whole days, are you kidding?
Okay, what we mash it in? - Yeah.
Or just sprinkle it.
That's gonna, that's gonna be really salty.
Do you like salt?
- I do like salt.
- I need salt on everything.
- [Nicole] I put too much salt on it.
I mushed it in there because I wasn't sure.
- Alright, oven.
- Then we bake for what, 37 minutes?
Alright. - Yup.
- Now we wait. - Yeah.
(classical music)
- Alright, it's been minutes.
They are golden brown.
Okay.
- [Lindsay] Wow, those look phenomenal.
- [Nicole] We did good, where should I put 'em?
- [Lindsay] Wherever you want.
- Over der, over her, over der?
- Over here, over here. - Over her.
- Yeah.
- Okay, do you want one? - Yeah.
- We did good. - Mmmmm.
They're very thin, with a chew.
I think the cake flour gives them chew.
- Mm hmm.
That's a good Jacques Torres cookie.
There's three gay men there, you want cookies?
- I want a fucking cookie, yes I want a cookie.
- [Nicole] Some people have three blind mice.
- Oh, this is great.
- Thank you, I'm perfect.
I'm gorgeous, I'm perfect, and I'm here to stay.
- Thank you so much for coming in and stopping by Delish.
- Thank you, thank you so much for having me.
This was delish.
- Right?
(regal trumpet music)