-Hi. In today's video,
we're going to talk about how you can invite his attention
and his attraction without using any words.
[music]
Hi there. Mat Shaffer, your dating,
empowerment and relationship coach.
Today, we're going to be talking about how you can invite
and activate his attraction without using any words.
A lot of women that I work with,
they think that there's some magic phrase they can use
or some ninja thing they can say to make a man want to ask them out,
but that's really not the case.
There's so much more you can do nonverbally
to really indicate and activate that you are open to connection with him.
I've talked about that on previous videos,
but I want to share with you a very specific set of tools
you can use to really invite a man to approach you
or to deepen a connection and ask you out.
First off, let's look at why is making an invitation so important.
The thing is, I know a lot of you have been taught
and what the common wisdom is out there
is that it's important for you to lean back
and to not appear too eager
because you want to demonstrate that you're high value.
I get that, but here's the thing.
If you want high-quality men to approach you,
it is very important and very powerful for you to make an invitation to them.
Men are dealing with a very powerful force
when they're out there in social situations.
They're dealing with a very powerful force called approach anxiety.
You may have heard about this, but men have a deep fear of rejection.
We know that it's up to us to initiate conversation
and to initiate connection with women,
but we've gotten very good, many men, at talking ourselves out
of making that connection
because there's no greater pain or there's few greater pains for men,
especially men that may be a little insecure,
than getting shut down or rejected in public.
If you see a man that you want to connect with,
one of the greatest things you can do
to give yourself the best chance to connect with him
is to make an invitation.
Of course, you can't do it verbally.
You can't be like, "Hey, come over here and talk to me."
Because again, you want to be in your feminine,
you want to be in a receiving space.
You can be in your feminine
while still initiating in a way
he gets to initiate the physical connection with you,
but you can initiate the energetic connection with him
by using two powerful tools that you have at your disposal,
your eyes and your mouth.
Those are the two tools that I want you to use
that are going to generate you magic results.
Here's how you do it.
We'll start by addressing how you can make an invitation for a man to approach you.
This can be out at a bar or at a social situation like that.
This can also be in a bookstore, at the grocery store.
Basically, anywhere where there are men that you might want to get to know better.
If you see a man that you're attracted to, the first thing that you do
is use your eyes.
Your eyes are the primary connection point.
When you see a guy,
you glance at him in a meaningful way
indicating that you're interested in connecting with him.
When you meet his gaze
and you guys have that connection point,
then you let him know that you feel good about that
and that you want them to approach you
by using your mouth and by smiling.
It's a combination thing.
Say, if you catch a man glancing at you,
hold his gaze
and then smile to let him know that you enjoy that,
and that you like that, and that you're interested
in him approaching you.
I know it sounds scary, and I know that the instinct that you have
as soon as someone catches your gaze
or you catch someone looking at you,
the impulse is to look away.
[chuckles]
Really, the powerful thing, and the way that you're going to create
so much more connection and make a powerful invitation for him
to come across a room
or come across a grocery aisle and talk to you
is by using your eyes and your mouth to indicate,
"Hey, I've noticed you looking at me,"
or, "I've noticed you and I'd like to talk to you,
but it's up to you and your masculine to come initiate that conversation."
It's really making a powerful feminine invitation
with your eyes and your mouth.
Sound good?
Makes sense, right?
Now, the second way to do this
is to invite him to ask you out or invite the conversation
to go a layer deeper when you're already talking to a man.
The most powerful way to do this is with your eyes.
If you want to demonstrate when you're talking to a man
that you're interested
in talking about more than the weather
or more than whatever small talk you might be engaging with with him,
use extended eye contact.
Prolonged eye contact,
looking at him deeply in his eyes is one of the most powerful ways
that you can indicate to a man that you're interested
in more than just chitchat.
[chuckles]
I know for me personally,
I have asked out women that I initially thought
I had no chance with,
because during casual conversation,
I could tell that they were giving me a lot of eye contact
and that's something that lights a man up.
When a man has a beautiful woman or a woman that he's attracted to
looking at him deeply in the eyes,
that is helping him understand that she is attracted to him.
Use your eyes if you're in casual conversation
as a way of demonstrating,
"Hey, I'm attracted to you.
Hey, I'm open to connecting with you deeper."
You're going to get more dates
and you're going to really activate him
and invite him to overcome that approach anxiety,
and bridge that gap,
and initiate that conversation and that deeper connection with you.
The last thing I want to say on this is one of the common pitfalls
of leaning back too much, and not initiating, and not activating,
and not inviting men, the men you want to approach you.
That is that if you don't do that,
if you don't consciously invite men that you'd like to come towards you,
and you just sit back there in your ivory tower
waiting for these confident men
to just walk up to you out of nowhere and approach you,
guess what,
maybe every now and again,
you're going to get one of those confident,
great guys coming up to you.
Much more likely, you're going to be inviting in
an entirely different type of guy.
The player, the manipulator, the narcissist,
the men that don't care what your boundaries are.
They don't care whether or not you're open to connection or not.
They're looking to talk to as many women as possible
until they get whatever they want,
whatever's on their agenda.
That's what happens.
That's an outcome that happens a lot when you do just choose
that wait and see policy and keep waiting
for a man to break your door down and come after you.
Then you complain that there are no good guys out there,
that the only guys that are talking to you are sketchy or whatever.
Well, no.
That's because when you adopt this strategy of connecting with men,
yes, the only kind of men you're going to get
are the ones that are extremely aggressive,
which for the most part, are not men
who are looking to establish meaningful connection with women.
They're looking to get what they want.
That's why it's so important for you to make a powerful invitation
using your eyes and your mouth to the men that you want.
If you can do that, you're going to activate them and invite them
in a powerful, feminine,
magnetic way to approach you and create deep,
meaningful connection with you.
If you can do this just out in the world three to five times a day,
or even a couple of times a day, or even once a day,
you'll be amazed at how many more dates you'll have
and how many more connections and meaningful relationships
you will get into.
I invite you to get out there in the world,
do that
and let me know how it goes in the comments.
Thanks so much for joining us.
If you haven't yet, hit that little subscribe button
and I will see you next time on my YouTube channel.
Bye-bye.