- [Narrator] Hello, Psych2Goers, welcome back.
Do you ever worry about how your words
can impact your child?
The way you nurture your children
can heavily impact their mental and emotional development,
and follow them into adulthood.
So if you're wondering what you can say
that would be helpful for your children,
here are seven phrases
that children need to hear from their parents.
If you're a child watching this video
and found it relatable,
be sure to share this video with your parents too.
Number one, "I liked how you..."
Did your child do something that you wanna praise?
Saying blanket statements like, "I'm proud of you,"
or "You're a smart kid," can turn into white noise
if said too often, leaving little effect.
Instead, phrases that focus on how they achieved
their accomplishment can be more beneficial
and long-lasting.
Being more specific with your validations,
such as by saying, "I'm proud you got an A.
"You must've studied very hard,"
or "I like how you picked up the trash
"and made everything tidy"
can help them better understand and reflect
on the positive result of their actions.
Number two, "Your sibling looks up to you."
Do you have several children?
Older siblings at a younger age can feel jealous
and act out once their younger sibling
starts getting more attention than them.
Instead of telling them to stop misbehaving,
Dr. Katherine Carsey, a child psychologist,
suggests that a more effective method would be to praise
the older siblings and highlight their role in the family.
Saying something like, "Your younger brother or sister,
"really looks up to you."
in a genuine way can give them a feeling of responsibility
and validation without the tension.
Number three, "Although what you did made me angry,
"I still love you."
How do you deal with bad behavior?
Whether it's throwing tantrums,
disrespecting teachers, or not doing chores.
Parents can be reasonably mad or hurt
over their child's actions.
While some children at a young age
don't understand the severity of their actions,
they may suffer long-term consequences
and feel like a disgrace if their parents use hurtful words
like, "I'm ashamed of you,", or "I'm disappointed in you."
Instead, you can apply a more loving approach by expressing
your concerns while still making them feel valued
by saying the phrase above.
Number four, "Let's work on this together."
Has your child ever encountered a difficult challenge?
How did you respond to it?
When a child fails to get something right,
like tying their shoes,
it can be tempting as parents to do it for them.
But by doing this, you're promoting a habit
where they become highly dependent on you
and lack the confidence to do things by themselves.
Not extending help isn't the right course of action either.
Instead, you can guide them by telling them
what they should do to get them to achieve their goal.
Be by their side and work on the task together
while allowing them to exert decent amounts of effort
so they can feel proud of what they did.
Number five, "Playtime's almost over.
"Should I wait one minute or two?"
What do you say when you want your child to do something?
Instead of just telling them what you want them to do,
it may be more efficient and effective to let them choose
between two options.
This doesn't apply to just playtime as well,
but for other things too,
like choosing to eat between two vegetables
or what time to go to the dentist.
if a parent does the opposite and gives them commands,
such as by saying things like, "We're leaving now.",
or, "You have to finish everything before you get to play.",
they may end up putting up a fight
and refuse to give into your wishes.
Number six, "I'm listening."
How does it feel when you're always
talked over and lectured?
For children or young adults, lecturing them
may not always come across as helpful or motivating.
It could even lead to the opposite effect
and worsen their mental health.
Instead, giving your child your attention
and listening to what they have to say
can nurture a healthier two way street
between you and your child.
By lending an open ear, you deepen your bond with them
and boost your kids' self-esteem, giving them the idea
that their thoughts and ideas are important and valid.
And number seven, "Mind showing me how you did that?"
Has your child done something that they're really proud of?
Whether they've solved a Rubik's cube,
performed a cool magic trick,
or planted some flowers seeds in the garden,
showing encouragement and praise to your child
helps improve their confidence and sense of self.
Even if the results weren't particularly impressive,
praising them for their effort can motivate your child
and give them the optimistic mindset that helps them
take on future challenges with esteem and confidence.
Did you find any of these phrases helpful?
Let us know in the comments below.
Also be sure to like, subscribe,
and share this video with those who might benefit.
And don't forget to hit the notification bell icon
to get notified whenever Psych2Go posts a new video.
The references and studies used in this video
are added in the description below.
Thanks for watching, and we'll see you in the next video.