we've all heard the expression sticks and stones may break my bones but words
will never hurt me but at times words can be outright mean with that said we
try to surround ourselves with the best friends possible whether it's the
positive vibes we get or the loyalty from them the good outweighs the bad
however some friends are so mean we sometimes don't even know why we stay
friends with them but could their friendship be a good thing keep watching
to find out but first why don't you hit that subscribe button and that
notification bell as well because as your friend
we will never hurt you dear viewer in fact we won't just be a good friend
we'll be your bestie all right so let's talk about your friends that aren't us
for a second as we said there are always a few
friends who we love but at times just can't stand because they're harsh blunt
attitude rubs us the wrong way and sometimes hurt like needles this leads
us to believe they're being outright mean but science says that this is not
the case in fact they might be trying to help us out keep those eyes glued to the
screen to discover what recent findings have shown according to research that
was published in Psychology science people who have a tendency to make
others experience negative emotions believe that the impact of those
emotions will be beneficial to them down the road the research was conducted at
the University of Plymouth by psychological scientist bailey lopez
perez and consisted of 140 adult participants lopez perez explains that
in most cases our close friends will inflict fear into us to help us even if
it does not benefit them at all we have shown that people can be cruel to be
kind that is they may decide to make someone
feel worse if this emotion is beneficial for that person even if this does not
entail any personal benefit for them said lopez perez there have been other
studies that suggest people may seek to worsen another person's mood for their
own gain but based on her own work and examining unselfish behavior Lopez Perez
and her colleagues wondered if there could be circumstances where people
would worsen people's moods for unselfish reasons we identified several
everyday examples where this might be the case for instance inducing fear of
failure in a loved one who is procrastinating instead of studying for
an exam said Lopez Perez Lopez Perez and her team had a theory they figured that
if they had the participants of the study take another person's perspective
it might make them choose a more negative experience for that individual
if they figured it would help them in the long run so to test their theory 140
participants of the study were asked to play a computer game with an anonymous
partner known as player a and they would assume the role as player B player B
would receive a note from player a that described the recent breakup and noted
that they were very upset some of the participants were asked to imagine how
player a felt the others were asked to remain detached from the situation then
participants were asked to play a video game so that they could make decisions
for player a on how the game would be presented half the participants were
asked to play soldier of fortune a first-person shooter game with an
explicit goal of killing as many enemies as possible confrontation goal the other
half were asked to play escape Dead Island a first-person game with the
explicit goal of escaping from a room of zombies avoidance goal once the assigned
game was completed each participant was asked to listen to some music clips and
read short game descriptions that varied in emotional content they were asked to
scale how much they wanted partner a to read the description from one not at all
to seven extremely results showed that the participants who were asked to
imagine how player a felt and empathized on their situation played the zombie
game and focused on inducing fear by choosing the fear inducing music clips
and game description these findings were in line with the previous research that
Lopez Perez and her team had conducted in line with previous research our
results have shown that people hold very specific expectations about the effects
that certain emotions may have and about which emotions may be better for
achieving different goals as you can see your closest friends always have your
back even when it doesn't seem or feel like they do based on their action
all right so now you know that sometimes your friends will make you feel bad in
order to lift you up we should talk about some other character traits that
you should look for in your friends so without further ado here is a list of
companion characteristics companion characteristic number one they should be
trustworthy one of the most important qualities that you need in your close
friends is that they can be trusted whether it's a secret that you need to
be kept or asking them for help on a certain day you need to know that their
word is their bond the last thing you want is to put trust in someone and then
they turn around and stab you in the back
companion characteristic number two they should be non-judgmental it's easy to
pick apart someone's flaws but your closest friends need to have an open
mind when you confide in them for something in most cases we go to our
friends for advice because we feel comfortable with them the last thing you
want is to confide in your friend only to watch them make you feel even worse
about something companion characteristic number three they will challenge you you
want to surround yourself with close friends that will push you forward not
hold you back a close friend that challenges you to be a better person is
someone you want to keep around for example if you're at a job and you feel
like you deserve a promotion you want someone who's going to tell you to go
get that promotion not someone who's going to tell you to just wait and see
how things turn out companion characteristic number four they are
dependable there's nothing worse than when you make plans with a person and
they bail last second well a good friend will never do that to you
they're always there when they say they're going to be there well that's a
lot of theirs and as a bonus they are always with you when you need them if
you're down they'll be down you and this friend of yours have built up a mutual
trust between the two of you a trust so strong that you both know you'll be
let's see not there that you'll be in the same vicinity as them when the other
person needs someone companion characteristic number five they're fun
when you're having a bad day or you're just alone you'll want a friend who you
know can turn that around you'll want to find someone that you
share common interests with a person that you can go out with and enjoy the
day not only that you'll want someone who you can share inside jokes with or
someone who just knows how to make you smile no matter what companion
characteristic number six they're loyal until the end there's an old joke about
friendship that goes like this when you're in jail a good friend will be
trying to bail you out a best friend will be in the cell next to you saying
turn that was fun that's how loyal a great friend should
be even though it might not be the best idea for them to do something they want
to do it with you because you look like you're having so much fun try not to go
overboard though companion characteristic number seven they forgive
you're human unless an alien is watching this in which case hello from Earth
because you're human you're going to make mistakes sometimes you might even
hurt the people you love unwillingly a good friend might get mad they might
yell and holler at you but at the end of the day they will
forgive you remember this depending on the severity of the offense they might
take sometimes give it to them and when they return just remind them of how good
a friend you really are companion characteristic number eight they're
humble a good friend won't be in your face about how good they are don't find
cocky friends you'll just become cocky as well one last thing we should say
before we wrap it up if you want friends like these you need to exhibit all these
character traits as well it shouldn't be a one-way street remember human
relationships are all about codependency so think what can you bring to a
relationship that the other person needs our advice make sure it's all the things
we just talked about do that and you'll never have to worry about friends and
that's our list of friendship traits what did you think did you find all the
things you need to look for in a friend do any of these things apply to your
best friends did we forget anything let us know in the comments section below
all your friend related info and remember who your bestie is well it's us
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